Your “It’s 4 O’clock. Do You Know Where Your Sobriety Is?” Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Whoa, Nelly! (I miss Keith Jackson… a lot) What have we here? It looks to be games that have playoff implications! I’ve a feeling that we’ll see more of these in the weeks ahead. How do I know? I’ve been down this boulevard of wet dreams before. TO THE GAMES!

Buf/Oak-Do the Billys have another “waltz into Gillette Stadium and shut out the Pats”-type victory in their athletic cups? Likely not but they are .500 on the road and both of the Raiders losses have been at home. That’s what the stats tell me but my belly tells me that the Raiders are rolling and “hey! I could use a few chicken wings down here!”. I’LL DROWN YOU WITH BEER AND SCOTCH, STUPID BELLY!

NYG/Pit-Jenkins vs. Brown. Burns vs. OBJ. A potent run game vs. a pathetic one. Juice boxes vs. Chocotacos. A great number of ball-shattering questions will be answered by the end result of this one. She looks like a keeper.

Was/Ari-Cards fans feel they still have a shot but I don’t think that 9-6-1 (should they win out) will get them a spot at The Big Dance-a-Rama. I will say that an Arizona win will mean that the Giants owe them one. The Redacteds O has reached another level after rb Matt Jones was thrown to the curb and replaced with hard-charging Rob Kelley. His efforts have resulted in qb Cousins having a bit more time to throw to the likes of Garcon, Crowder and Jackson and there has been plenty of thriving all way around.

TB/SD-TB/SD sounds like a medical conference devoted to catchable diseases. Speaking of that, are you catching “CHARGERS NOT IN THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN” fever? I know I’m not-I had my shots. THANKS, CANADIAN SOCIALISED MEDICINE. That #4 scoring O of San Diego’s biggest challenge is to outscore the massive number of 2nd half points that the D donates to opposing clubs. The Bucs ability to generate turnovers (18 in their last 7 games) should be the difference here.

I did my best-NOW IT’S TIME TO DO YOURS!

 

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BrockyMoose -The End Is Well NighSenor WeaseloHoratio Cornblowermonty this seems strange to me Recent comment authors
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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
monty this seems strange to me

GARBAGE TIME POINTS FOR ELI!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

In other news, Wayne Simmonds continues his path of destruction in Nashville. His 12th goal of the season puts him ahead of Dorial Green-Beckham on the Eagles depth chart.

WCS

Nelson Agholor just coughed up the puck to allow a short-handed goal.

Senor Weaselo

As long as Mason makes an infinite number of saves, I have retaken the lead in fantasy but it’s tenuous

WCS
monty this seems strange to me

“Alexa, send Ramon Foster a fine notice.”

– Roger Goodell

Romonobyl

Not a big fan of The Rapers (except for this game of course), but holy shit Le’Veon Fucking Bell…

Horatio Cornblower

I took him with my 2nd round pick knowing he had a 4 game suspension.

I regret nothing.

(Full disclosure, I took Deandre Hopkins with my first pick; FF is all luck)

monty this seems strange to me

Just now realized that Samsung VR commercial is using “Where Is My Mind?” Doesn’t sound like the Pixies version though.

WCS

Whatever it is, it makes me yearn for the meteor to wipe out this failed experiment called humanity.

entropy

It’s not. It’s some crap-suck royalty-free version.

Horatio Cornblower

Will Tye The No-Longer-Knows-His-Own-Name-Guy

WCS

I sincerely, genuinely hope everyone associated with that Frankenstein commercial contracts ass cancer.

Romonobyl
monty this seems strange to me

“Opportunity for the Giants. Let’s see how they fuck it up this time.”

– Joe Buck, probably

Romonobyl

A team you hate has a player accused of domestic violence.
“Man, they need to put him away and set an example!”
Your team’s best player is accused of domestic violence.
“Damn, I hope they can find a resolution so he can keep playing!”

evilbeaver8
evilbeaver8

Joe Buck hates the Apple Frankenstein commercial…finds Frank’s interpretation of the song “a bit too jazzy”.

entropy

Great. Now I have to justify agreeing with Joe Buck on how awful that commercial is.

Horatio Cornblower

If this Frankenstein monster was black the town cops would have shot it in the back 22 times before it could start singing.

WCS

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, Buck and Aikman are really doing everything they can to excuse Eli throwing a godawful pass aren’t they?

monty this seems strange to me

Jesus, Buck and Aikman

WORST 3-MAN BOOTH EVER

Horatio Cornblower

Actually I’d pay good money to listen to that trio.

Buck: “Davante Adams really has to catch that pass; it went through his hands like there were holes in them.”

Jesus: “Say what?”

Aikman: /coughs awkwardly

monty this seems strange to me

Aikman: “Well, Jesus, you’re exactly right.”

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Yup. That they are.

evilbeaver8
evilbeaver8

So Viagra single packs…does losing the ability to get an erection also rob you of the ability to open a bottle and select a single pill?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I clinched my fantasy bye. Let’s advance time two weeks.

Horatio Cornblower

Ooh, that’s 10 less minutes with the crayons after the game for you Eli.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Arm punt.

Romonobyl

Everybody
Loves
Interceptions

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I don’t know what an Eric Flowers is, but the giants bar wants to murder it.

monty this seems strange to me

I bet they’ve forgotten about it now.

Romonobyl

Doncha hate when you make a bunch of brilliantly smarmy comments and replies only to scroll up and see the Newer Comments button?

Senor Weaselo

Yes. Yes I do.

monty this seems strange to me

I wouldn’t know.

evilbeaver8
evilbeaver8

What would be the more pure Eli moment:
1) Throwing 4 interceptions in a game the Giants lose by 3; or
2) Completing like 4 passes until the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter then falling assbackwards into two touchdowns to win.

WCS

Yes.

monty this seems strange to me

#2 sounds more like the Charmslinger

WCS

Stick a white-hot needle up your dickhole, Toyotathon.

monty this seems strange to me
Sharkbait
Sharkbait

HARFCEPTION

monty this seems strange to me

So Joe Buck is saying that a Steeler would have been the victim of a forced touching?

Horatio Cornblower

What’s up ass-dicks?

entropy

Seems like the answer’s in the question.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, on closer examination I seem to be missing a pretty important comma there.

The Maestro

We were wondering just how drunk you were earlier.

Horatio Cornblower

Not much. 13-14 beers sounds like a lot but when they’re only samplers in a flight I think it works out to 3-4 pints. I was, however, feeling pretty good.

monty this seems strange to me

Not much, I was just…. HEY!

WCS

Hey, he’s alive!

Romonobyl
Col. Duke LaCross

How was the hockey game?