Your “It’s 4 O’clock. Do You Know Where Your Sobriety Is?” Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Whoa, Nelly! (I miss Keith Jackson… a lot) What have we here? It looks to be games that have playoff implications! I’ve a feeling that we’ll see more of these in the weeks ahead. How do I know? I’ve been down this boulevard of wet dreams before. TO THE GAMES!

Buf/Oak-Do the Billys have another “waltz into Gillette Stadium and shut out the Pats”-type victory in their athletic cups? Likely not but they are .500 on the road and both of the Raiders losses have been at home. That’s what the stats tell me but my belly tells me that the Raiders are rolling and “hey! I could use a few chicken wings down here!”. I’LL DROWN YOU WITH BEER AND SCOTCH, STUPID BELLY!

NYG/Pit-Jenkins vs. Brown. Burns vs. OBJ. A potent run game vs. a pathetic one. Juice boxes vs. Chocotacos. A great number of ball-shattering questions will be answered by the end result of this one. She looks like a keeper.

Was/Ari-Cards fans feel they still have a shot but I don’t think that 9-6-1 (should they win out) will get them a spot at The Big Dance-a-Rama. I will say that an Arizona win will mean that the Giants owe them one. The Redacteds O has reached another level after rb Matt Jones was thrown to the curb and replaced with hard-charging Rob Kelley. His efforts have resulted in qb Cousins having a bit more time to throw to the likes of Garcon, Crowder and Jackson and there has been plenty of thriving all way around.

TB/SD-TB/SD sounds like a medical conference devoted to catchable diseases. Speaking of that, are you catching “CHARGERS NOT IN THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN” fever? I know I’m not-I had my shots. THANKS, CANADIAN SOCIALISED MEDICINE. That #4 scoring O of San Diego’s biggest challenge is to outscore the massive number of 2nd half points that the D donates to opposing clubs. The Bucs ability to generate turnovers (18 in their last 7 games) should be the difference here.

I did my best-NOW IT’S TIME TO DO YOURS!

 

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Romonobyl

Ben goes Boom.

Horatio Cornblower

Broke another bathroom stall?

The Maestro

Another week, another 4th-quarter collapse by the Bills. Such is life in the land of Zubaz and grain alcohol.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
blackroseMD1

Second half collapse? Chargers?

No way, not the Chargers.

/starts looking for razor blades

Old School Zero

This is no time to shave. Just have a drink and remember that the sooner they are completely eliminated from playoff contention, the sooner we can go do other things with our time and await the official LA move notice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Correct; never shave your balls when you’re angry.

Romonobyl

Definitely don’t let your wife shave your balls when SHE’S angry.

WCS

Antonio Brown is a living god.

Sharkbait

He’s good.

Old School Zero

John Pagano is that middle manager who takes credit for his underling’s work every time.

entropy

Now that the Dakota Access Pipeline has been blocked, all these Social Media Warriors will turn their attention to the million other ways the Federal government and large corporations continually abuse the Native Americans, right?

Old School Zero

We can certainly dream…

entropy

Seriously, every asshole who filled up my FB feed with “I STAND WITH STANDING ROCK” had better be prepared for an onslaught of other shit they need to pay attention to after this, because they were OH SO CONCERNED while it was trendy.

Old School Zero

Yeah. There’s a part of the DOE branch I contract to that works with the local tribes, and, damn, the more history you learn about tribal relations, the more depressed you get. Non-propaganda/whitewashed American history is sometimes very embarrassing.

entropy

I can’t believe some of these people were shocked at the tactics used on “American Citizens,” and I told a few of them “First Nation” really does mean Nation, they didn’t believe me. “But they fall under the jurisdiction of the FBI!” Only because we treat those treaties like the EULA of an Apple product… no one really reads them. It’s absurd how ignorant people are about these things. The DAPL was just the latest in a series of horrific things the US Gov’t has done to Native tribes, but these folks all seem to think it sprung up out of nowhere.

WCS

Undoubtedly.

Horatio Cornblower

While they’re in the area maybe they could do something about the liquor stores in Whiteclay, NB.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiteclay,_Nebraska#Activism_against_beer_sales

Yes, you read that right. The guy that hit three breweries and a package store last night, bracketed by a hockey game, just advocated shutting down liquor stores.

Romonobyl

Office Christmas Party is why I jailbroke my Firestick. I wanna see it, but I sure as hell ain’t payin’ for the privilege!

WCS

The Maestro

I’ve had jailbroken iPhones since the days of iOS 3.0. Zero regrets. It’s the tits.

Sharkbait

Me in the Giants bar right now:

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/survivor1.gif

Romonobyl

We are perilously close to achieving Full-Eli!!!!

The Maestro

Nobody ever wants to see things go Full-Eli, though.

evilbeaver8

“Its all about the social media”
-Totally not inane attempt to sound smart by totally not brain-damaged Troy Aikman.

laserguru

As most of you know I’m normally a kind, caring and accepting person, despite what the Coach Zimmer posts may say but once again it’s been ” Rodeo” weekend in Vegas and if I have to hear one more fucking country song I’m gonna choke a motherfucker out.

Oh look! Moar cowboy hats!

Son of a bitch!

Sharkbait

County music is the fucking worst.

The Maestro

I prefer township and municipality music far more, myself.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m really surprised this wasn’t scheduled for the first or second weekend in January. You know, AVN weekend.

laserguru

The script writes itself.

Senor Weaselo

“What country?” -Padre Weaselo every time

Romonobyl

Safe to assume Pops uses “immigrant” as an expletive?

evilbeaver8

Controversial hot take: The pretty brunette in the Toyota commercials is pretty.

Romonobyl

Jan’s OK, but she’s no Lily.

Spanky Datass

That’s not Lily. Milana Vayntrub has brown eyes and an intelligent expression.
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Romonobyl

Didn’t think it was.
GOOGLE LIED!!!!!!!

WCS

Jim Tomsula and Ed Reed approve of BOSS TODD’s hobo beard game.

Brocky

okay, I was only paying half attention there:

DId they say Eli’s cleats are for the taco bell kid’s cancer foundation?

Romonobyl

No, they said Eli’s cleats smell like a Nachos Bellgrande.

Sharkbait

Eli is tackling kids for cancer?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think he’s tackling kids WITH cancer.

Romonobyl

MOOOOOOMMM!!! THOSE OTHER KIDS DREW STUFF ON MY NEW SHOES!!!!!!!

King Hippo

State plays Vandy in Shreveport. The day after Shitsmas. That should sell, like, AT LEAST 150 tickets…

Senor Weaselo

Who’s playing the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl in Pepsi Presents: New Zanzibar?

WCS

14-0 Stillers

Hey, an actual football score!

King Hippo

14 the hardest way!

Romonobyl

Verily, and yet but a single down was touched

Old School Zero

EYYYYYYYYYY!!!! IT’SA BOSAAAAAAAAA!

Romonobyl

Jason Pierre-Paul is down, will somebody please give him a hand?

Sharkbait

All the OPI BLEERGH in stillers-giants

WCS

2016 Russell Athletic Bowl
WVU vs. Miami

comment image
Oh fuck yes.

Petronel

Gotta say, watching the Redacteds with the TV on mute with Redacteds Radio on is much superior to listening to the TV broadcast. Not only is it hilarious, but it’s a few seconds ahead of the TV broadcast, so I know when to look up to see whatever stupidity I’ve just heard about.

ballsofsteelandfury

I too prefer the radio over tv. They seem to have more fun.

King Hippo

Having to cheer for the Raiders to keep the division away from the Chefs (and the 1 seed from the P*ts) is a very unsavory feeling.

Old School Zero

Chargers were helped out today by Dolphins losing. KC winning sucked, but both they and the Donks have some tough games ahead. YOU KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE BOSA IN THE PLAYOFFS!

Old School Zero

I don’t know when the banner quote was updated, but has anyone heard from Horatio? Is he still alive?

ballsofsteelandfury

He is alive and claimed he “wasn’t that drunk”. No one believes him.

Romonobyl

Not sure, but I think I saw a picture of his pancreas on a milk carton in a Fort Worth Krogers.

Spanky Datass
Romonobyl

Looks like Eli found Olivia’s secret stash of morning Cabernet.
http://www.4for4.com/fantasy-football/sites/default/files/articles/eli-manning.jpg

King Hippo

THAT WASN’T A JUICE BOX!!!

Curse of Marino

GODFUCKING DAMNIT ELI YOU WORTHLESS MOUTH BREATHING CUNT

laserguru

If anyone has access to the Slack feed check the DFO vegas channel for the photo.

Sharkbait

Giants bar might burn itself down if they keep this level of play up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

PEAK Eli.

WCS

THANKS ELISHA

Romonobyl

I love early December when the first crop of fresh Manningface is in full fruition.

WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

Romonobyl

Who’s drawn countless 0-5 first quarter office pool blocks?
THIS GUY!!!
Who didn’t buy any for this week?
SAME GUY!!!

WCS

I’d rather jump on a bicycle that’s missing it’s seat for six hours than have to watch Collateral Beauty.

Curse of Marino

AND HOW THE FUCK DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE A SAFETY?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Giants’ left tackle grabbed the DE by the head, holding in the end zone.

Romonobyl

That usually costs extra.

WCS
Croooow

Facebook Live dude so wants to say “Sportsball”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SHANKL’OR pulling one wide by forty feet in San Diego. What a game!

Sharkbait

Safety for the safety gods?

Curse of Marino

FUCK EVERYTHING

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy shit. It snowed in Chicago, the Bears won big, I just finished baking 8 mini cheesecakes, and I’ve got Red Zone on while they cool. Nice little Sunday.

laserguru

We’ve finally corralled the entire DFO crew and we’ve appropriated a table at the Mandalay sports book. I’ve got a bloody Mary in hand and Wee Baby Seamus and I have a big ass bet on Arizona.

Woo Vegas!

herodotus450

We’re all going to mass with Fozz, in spirit. So pretty much the same thing as you guys.

Sharkbait

Sigh. Next year if there is a DFO-con, I’m in

ballsofsteelandfury

Make sure to take a picture!

laserguru

Check the DFO vegas slack channel.

jjfozz

Went with my dad to game. Fun but seein the old lion slow down is a bummer. He’s still an ornery SOB

Brocky

Its great you guys braved the weather.

that being said, the moment you mention ornery SOB my mind went through a short history of some of your posts, and well, came up with this:

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Sharkbait

Re-locating to the giants bar with wife and brother in law (both giants fans). I’ll try and contain laugher at what I imagine will be many manning faces.

jjfozz

Leaving ravens game – mrs Fozz talking 530 mass. Oh boy.

Sharkbait

At least there’s wine?