Your “Oh My, Such Big D’s You Have There!” Xmas Night NFL Open Thread

Den/KC-The O’s of both these teams have a lot to answer for and Alex Smith is doing his best. Pressed on his unit’s failure to score he blurfed up this mighty gem-“We’ve got to play better.” I wonder if he emphasized the “We”, the “Got”, the “Play” or the “Better”? It really makes a difference you know. KC has scored a microscopic nine  points in the the 3rd and 4th quarters of their last three games. Laughing are we Broncos?-not so fast. Just pick any offensive category, go ahead. Well, they’re like 21st, 24th, 29th or 30th-ranked-doesn’t matter which one you opted for. That said, the Broncs get into the playoffs (they won’t) if and only if all these things happen. If they beat the Chiefs, Ravens beat Steelers and then the Bengals, the Pats beat the Fins and the Chiefs beat the Chargers it’s a done deal. They’ll have to do it without lb Marshall, te’s Derby and Green, safety Ward and possibly de Wolfe tonight though. That’s a heck of an uphill climb. I’m rooting for them because an Andy Reid team without Jamaal Charles is a boring team meant to put small children to sleep. “Ethan, it’s 8:30. Quit running around and watch this game with me”. [carries child off to bed 15 minutes later]

No Monday Nighter tomorrow-this is all you’ve got until Saturday so make it count. COMMENTERS…COMMENT!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/790816e7b65b4b25c38f110d4dca6a09/tumblr_nkjzn9h1DE1s7e5k5o1_500.jpg

Jimi Hendrix and Wilson Pickett at an Atlantic Records release party .

WCS
JerBear50
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC

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JerBear50
JerBear50

What is this “comment is awaiting moderation” shit?

JerBear50

And why can I reply to it? If it’s awaiting moderation, what am I replying to? Is it really even there? Am I really even here? Am I even real?

JerBear50

Goddamn you DFO, how dare you make me question my existence.

JerBear50

If she was any more ginger the Bengals would sign her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d try not to, but I’d probably have the same look as delivery guy.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a92e6a8c8e1d3b9d2c882ea91c841c7a/tumblr_o8737laf4g1unmtsfo1_1280.jpg

Curse of Marino
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You know; good for them. Donks are far from deserving at this point.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/3c43fd579397511d22930c6b705655c7/tumblr_o7ez3ypMDQ1qfr6udo1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

This put a giant stupid smile on my face

JerBear50

I like when the eyes are just a little too wide. It means mom probably liked to drink, which means she probably likes to drink, which means I have a better chance. Granted, it’s 1% vs 0%, but that means I only have to hit on 100 for it to pay off.

JerBear50

Sometimes I forget that your replies are mostly non sequiturs and I read too much into them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, I can’t look at her and say her eyes are too far apart, let alone your other hypotheses, but it was fun reading it. She has nice lips and I would imagine a nice asshole.

ALXMAC

Hypothetically JerBear50 was agreeing with you Moose. ‘She’s hot – would bang. Just don’t get weather your post fit a theme or not.’

JerBear50

Yeah, her eyes are a little wide-set, but it was pretty much just a joke. I don’t actually try to interpret and exploit fetal alcohol syndrome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

P.S. Same woman is with the sparklers in blue above in gif.

JerBear50

Yeah, she’s smoking ass hot. I didn’t mean to imply she wasn’t.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Naw, I was just confused by your joke. Even if you didn’t think so; to each their own. You are not one to make comments on others’ tastes, you know; “She’s uuuuugly and you are stupid for thinking she’s hot.”

There was a bunch of gifs from that shoot, but that is gone from my time frame.

Also; ODD SHAPED EARS! WOULD NOT BANG!!

JerBear50

No, she’s fucking gorgeous. I just thought her eyes were unusual. Not bad, just unusual, and I used it to segue into that stupid joke. Uma Thurman’s got wide set eyes and there’s sure as hell nothing wrong with her.
http://mediamass.net/jdd/public/documents/celebrities/341.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I ALSO FIND WIDE SET LEGS ATTRACTIVE.

JerBear50

Since Christmas is closing out over here on this coast, I wanted to post this. It’s one of the best holiday songs I’ve ever heard, but more on the melancholy side.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvgsaRAmxXQ

ALXMAC

One of my favorites, and apt for 2016:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU

JerBear50

Holy shit that was a great sketch.

ALXMAC

I usually didn’t mind when things went wrong; usually made for better TV.

JerBear50

The late 80’s/early 90’s of that show were fucking wonderful and I don’t give a shit what anyone else says. And I think I may have liked Tom Hanks on those more than I have most of his movies.
http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/108/1086691/saturday-night-live-20100518045238310.jpg

ALXMAC

I was starting Jr. High in the early 90’s; SNL was the original “Must See TV” for me and that era of comedy (along with In Living Color and the Simpsons) was golden, Jerry.

JerBear50

I started watching in the late 80’s when I was real young. I always liked comedy and on the weekends I’d stay up half the night after my parents went to bed. Didn’t have cable so it was whatever standup show was on at 9, SNL at 1030, Apollo at 12 or 1.

ALXMAC

Headwound Harry!!

Unsurprised
King Hippo

HAI!!

King Hippo

walnut crusher!!

JerBear50

My god, those thighs… Those could do some real damage to my ears.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What?

Curse of Marino

“Gonna be an interesting handshake here”

cuts to commercial

King Hippo

payback is a bitch, Andy

ALXMAC

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Dunstan

I will never not laugh at that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Fortunate coincidence

WCS

*Not allowed with 50 yards of any school zone

Dunstan

And I thought you guys said he had decided to quit commenting and focus on politics….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

I was trying to remember what it was where David Cross was dressed like that, so I could make an election result joke, but this was like the third image hit, so I’ll use it instead.
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Unsurprised

Your search skills are remarkable

JerBear50

I haven’t seen that much annoying, repetitive derp since Mind of Mencia was on air.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, the Broncos should sit all the starters next week to pay the Chiefs back for that Poe TD, right?

King Hippo

YES

King Hippo

way to REALLY embarrass the franchise there

Unsurprised

“Wanna bet?” — Andy Reid

Gratliff

I see we’ve been doing lesser Dr. Who companion gifs.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmb9esFfIX1qkvxfuo1_500.gif

Unsurprised

Phrasing

Gratliff

I feel like the post-shower hair really brings it all together

Horatio Cornblower

I’m surprised Denver didn’t just take a knee three times. This is embarrassing.

ballsofsteelandfury

That reminds me, I really need to see Club Dredd again.

JerBear50

Kinda felt like they were already on their knees for most of the game.

King Hippo

oh my!!

Unsurprised

LANAAAAAAAAA!

Col. Duke LaCross

Kristen. Sweet jeezus.

King Hippo

Show some pride, start a goddamned fight at least

Curse of Marino

THE CHIEFS ARE PLAYING BACKYARD FOOTBALL HOLY SHIT. IS PABLO SANCHEZ GOING TO BE KICKING THE EXTRA POINT?

ballsofsteelandfury

Dontari Poe is a better QB than Alex Smith.

JerBear50

Edgar Allen Poe is a better qb than Alex Smith.

Horatio Cornblower

The Broncos are gonna knee-cap some Chiefs for that one.

King Hippo

they better let Oakland win next week for that alone

Curse of Marino

FAT MAN TOUCHDOWN

Unsurprised

How does a series not hire both twins for everything?

Dunstan

OH NO THEY DIN’T!

Unsurprised

It’s so great to see the mountains the form the eastern border of my hometown used as a stand-in for fucking Afghanistan

Dunstan

It just sunk in … the Dolphins are in the playoffs.

Curse of Marino

You’re Goddamn right

Horatio Cornblower

The 2017 Denver Broncos are the best form of birth control for the Greater Metropolitan Denver area since syphilis-related sterility.