Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”
Reid: “Yes, chef.”
JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”
Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”
JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”
JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”
JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”
Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]
Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.
Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!
This is a suspiciously competent-looking drive so far
Alex Smith yelling, sounds exactly like Andrew Luck’s normal voice.
Hodor? Hodor.
CAREER LONG DEEP PASS FOR ALEX SMITH
I don’t follow the Chiefs all that closely, but am I having a stroke or did I just hear an o-lineman with a French accent?
From our neck of the woods up here.
Ah. That makes more sense.
The wife just casually asked if we wanted to go to the AFC championship game. Her reasoning is: ” we do have wedding money still”
DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE
Seriously, though, there has got to be a better way to spend that money than on a stupid football game.
So, I don’t know as much about the AFC as I should. Anyone want to tell me why I should hate the Steelers/Chiefs?
There’s no real reason to hate the Chefs. The Stillers are fucking pricks, with an even worse fanbase. That all said,
HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO
my Trump-loving, UConn fan asshole former college roommate??
/also a Chefs fan
Andy Reid timeout counter: 1
He lasted 5 minutes. He is doing better than normal.
Andy Reid Slab O’Ribs Counter: 17
“at least they got Kansas City to use a timeout” — Al Michaels
Like that’s difficult.
The Steeler’s left guard is false starting every play
Go for it!
Who’s the #2 seed again?
The Chiefs are because they are a perpetual number 2.
The Falcons
I fully expect a
“Rothllisberger forcing his will on the Chiefs” from Collinsworth any second now.
I hope they talk about how cold it is.
So does Jimmy Graham, basketball player.
I didn’t know Graham played basketball.
You’d think they’d mention that.
Jesus Christ. Ben could’ve walked the fucking ball.
“Let Ben be Ben”
Wouldnt that make Pittsburgh the rape capital of the US?
He’s only one man, I doubt even he could make much a dent in the statistics.
HARF The Ben like a new challenge
I can’t believe Andy passed up the chance to futilely challenge that spot!
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/820803249498365952
Obligatory.
*Motley Crue blasts in the backgound*
“HEEEEAAAA………Jesssss…….JEEEEEEAAAAATHHHHHH!””
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH
Fuck this. I’m going to play some BF1 and tell a bunch of kids their mother is a whore.
Well … She is.
— Jeff Ireland
“Let me know which ones don’t seem surprised to hear it.” — Bill Belichek
“Rub it in.” -Dez Bryant
“No, really, go ahead and rub it in.” — Dez’s Mom
He got up in Ben’s business real quick. What a role reversal
I finally caught the first episode of Taboo.
1) Damn, Tom Hardy is sexy
2) This series is going to be crazy as fuck
He’s also goddamn near unintelligible. Drives me nuts trying to figure out what he’s talking about.
I watch it with CC on since I’m going deaf, so HA-HA
We gon’ Harf? OH WE GONNA HARF
I’m pro-Chiefs mainly because I want to see Andy Reid’s clock management fuck up to come at the most important time possible.
It’s the first quarter coach
?quality=90&w=650
I was ambivalent about the last game’s result until I found out that Tomi Lahren is a Cowboys fan.
I mean, it had to be either that or the Pats.
As a Cowboys fan I would like to say she doesn’t represent the majority of us, but she’s blond, racist and dumb so she probably does and also fuck everything.
Hey guys, seen any good football games lately? Seen any last minute 51 FGs kill your team lately? Consumed any bleach lately?
Does anyone have any bleach?
I may have some RC cola in the fridge.
Tomayto, tomahto.
RAYCCCISSMMM
That’s replacing “Under God” shortly
Holy shit. That field looks like when my grandmother got weird and old and started laying down throw rugs on top of throw rugs
Oh, the tomahawk chop. That pretty much settles it for me.
GO STILLERS
Just getting settled in for tonight’s game. So it is Rapey vs Trump hands?
Jerry Richardson is incredibly excited about this upcoming “Black Sails” show.
How many fat humps will die during a Chiefs-Packers Superbowl?
God willing? All of them.
I don’t want to talk about it…It’s Spur season. Go Kawhi!
http://wallpapersdsc.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Kawhi_Leonard_3.jpg
Rodgers – Top
Aikman-Bottom
Rodgers is a selfish fucker. He takes and receives.
Will we get an Ottoman sighting?
If only.
– Constantine XI
No man possessing a 69 jersey has, in fact, ever 69ed a woman.
As a backup guard who wore #69 in high school, I can definitely say this is true.
Yanno, I just realized that the Packers have beaten the all three remaining AFC teams in the Superb Owl
I always get excited to see Al Michael alone, always forgetting they’re going to zoom out and show a dipshit sitting beside him.
he’d probably tell some pretty good booze/gambling stories if forced to fill 4 hours himself!
I hope the next salad Rodgers tosses is full of dingleberries
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/01/Middle-Finger-Fuck-You-GIF-2015.gif
While I hate the Packers, I saw this and remembered I picked the proper evil:
https://twitter.com/TomiLahren/status/820759459941220352
Who cares?
“Romo would’ve won” is the HOT TAEK we all deserve
Ima enjoy it more than Boatghazi
Am not done.
Stick it up your ass Rodgers. Am glad your parents hate you.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/4650452/fuck-you-gif-o.gif
Hey sexy
– AAron
PIT/GB would make a lovely Superb Owl pairing, so let’s not spoil things.
GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ya know, a Chefs/Pack Superb Owl with KC winning would be kind of fun.
Definitely one of the few tolerable options left.
would be fun….
yeah the say way a 3 way with a blond and a redhead would be fun…
as in there’s zero chance of it fucking happening!!
“Oh thank god, at least I don’t have to hear Joe Buck for another week.”
/changes channel.
“Hello friends.” “Hi JEEEEEEM”
“Goddamnit.”
Okay, Chiefs. You’re the last pseudo-likeable team in the playoffs. Let’s try not to somehow blow 4 timeouts in the 1st quarter.
Someone actively hates the Falcons?
There’s a respectable amount of Matt Ryan hate here, which is a pleasant surprise.
Fuck Boston College.
if you’re a mediocrely talented player who’s had numerous failed opportunities to be a superstar, and the announcers are inexplicably in love with you due to a combination of your disposition, alma mater, race, you can look forward to some blowback from the kommenters.
“Did somebody say timeout? Time out! Time out! Time out!”
–Andy Reid
“Time out it is.”
–Andy Reid’s heart
OURS
Some sonofabitch got me sick and now there will be Hell to pay in Bridgetown.
Your
-Scotchnaut
Mine?