Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”
Reid: “Yes, chef.”
JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”
Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”
JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”
JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”
JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”
Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]
Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.
Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!
I did a focus group for cars a while back. The hottest girl in the group was asked to interview on camera. I was not.
I mean, opinions are 50% more correct when uttered by attractive people. It’s science.
Understandable
I cant be the only Dolphins fan who gets annoyed by the fact that sports media is shamelessly stealing a nickname for the Dolphins Defense in the 80s and using it for the Steelers.
Isn’t it the 70s?
late 70s early 80s Dolphins Defense IIRC
Ok. I’ll defer to the resident Marine Mammal Expert.
70s was the No-Name Defense, Killer B’s was more the early 80s
To be fair, sports media is really unimaginative sometimes. “Killer Bs” is generally the nickname given to any group of at least 2 players in any sport whose names have B in them.
In honor of Martin Luther King, I judged a man by his character and not his skin color!
Todd Haley looks like his penis is shaped a prostate milker.
Even pn a show that has Carson Kressley and Boy George, Jon Lovitz always plays the role of “Biggest Gay”.
Killer Bs: Brown, Bell, and Beat a rape charge
Two!
The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Dee Ford.
If I heard right, based on the officiating the three previous games, this crew has the inside track for Superb Owl. How they been?
To be fair, pretty decent.
Dinner is over! I get time for FOOTBAW!!!! Hail BLEERGH for His bountiful wonderfulness!
Drew summed up Ben’s ability to play through injury perfectly:
“Big Ben is so big and so dumb, he doesn’t process pain like regular people.”
Ooooh, military commercials during a football game. I believe NBC calls this the “Things That Leave Out to Dry When You Leave Them” block.
Why the Hell is Warren Buffett on celebrity apprentice?
Who cares?
Did I just hear that? The Ben injured his foot, but thought it was his shoulder that was hurt? That dude is a special kind of dumb.
Just slip him another choco taco
Yeah, that kind of threw me, too, along with Al and Cris’s lack of reaction.
Alex Smith makes Chad Pennington look like he has a missile for an arm.
Alex Smith makes Rex Grossman lose his erection.
Those Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials make me feel like I should be on peyote, and then they make me angry that I’m not, in fact, on peyote.
http://images.cdn.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Surfer-Dude-movie-08.jpg
Navy Federal Credit Union is trying to make it look like they are ok with women in the armed forces, but then only do commercials about them needing money for their wedding or starting houses so they will get the fuck out of the military
Those commercials are making me wonder if I’ve been misled about the attractiveness of military women. Because if I can’t trust advertising, who can I believe?
Yeah, it’s a real shocker that the military and advertising would lie to the public
Are we talking deployed “hot” or back stateside?
The pilot in the current commercial’s a normal 7-7.5
Call me crazy, do the chiefs potentially have any benefit from having played the pats in the playoffs last year?
Does anyone else do this on an Android phone? Some of your avatars are yuuuuuug!!!!!
I do it in the flesh usually behind a dumpster on Carlton Street!
Oh I misunderstood…
Yeah, it’s weird
*This must be what it’s like to watch the Patriots continual success*
— cuts to an ISIS beheading video.
Well this is bleak as fuck.
Never thought I’d be happy to see a punt
oh, Smith SAW him, that’s just like 15 yards out of range
15? Is Smith on a round of steroids I didn’t know about?
Did we see sassy ref at all this weekend?
No, thank god.
Carey or Boger? Because Carey’s doing TV now.
Boger. Carey’s too busy being wrong all the time to be sassy.
Boger didn’t make the cut.
Let’s be honest — if the NFL had a problem with public drunkenness, they’d be playing to empty stadiums.
“Pittsburgh is dealing with the adversity amongst their coaching staff”
“You mean Joey Porter being an unrepentant asshole?”
“Porter made his mark on the field” – Al Michaels
“Oh, shut the fuck up!” – me and other Bengals fans
Updated:
Brocky’s most hated nfl teams, and their post season standing
1. Green Bay Packers
2.
Indianapolis Colts3. New England Patriots
4.
Detroit Lions5.
Minnesota Vikings6.
Dallas Cowboys7. Pittsburgh Steelers
8.
Miami DolphinsSee how much YOU like it, Tyreek!
So Joey Porter can do whatever he wants?
“Suspended indefinitely pending the postseason”
It’s sort of a team philosophy
If he was still a player, BANHAMMER!!
But as a coach? …eh.
“Indefinite Leave” for six days
Using Coach K’s definition of indefinite leave.
“This must be what its like to catch a 50 yard pass from Alex Smith”
*Pepsi commercial flashes to a blank screen*
Are there Mexicans allowed on the Wall?
pass thrown behind the WR, Alex Smith looks on with jealousy
Linebacker on Antonio Brown? Okay…
Goddamn it, Brown.
Bad bad Antonio Brown, brownest brown in the whole brown town.
I’ve been drinking
Antonio Brown doing Antonio Brown things.
Antonio Brown is a living god.
He’s good.
Ok, please explain why I couldn’t stay logged in with my laptop. I was logged in but every time I tried making a trademark witty post I was told I needed to sign in. Rebooted the computer machine, same thing. I’m using my phone and it works but sucks!
It’s a Cowboy thing, isn’t it?
Out of the playoffs, out of DFO.
So DFO will be nothing but P*ts fans in February? I’m out then…
Hey, my team doesn’t even exist, so I don’t even exist, which means if you’re reading this, you might want to adjust your meds.
Good call, you sound like my wife, but probably uglier.
GUARANTEED
Did you answer 3+?=7 properly?
My math skills suck, but I can always use teh Google!
http://unwikit.com/images/thumb/a/a3/FixThisSRich-shirt.jpg/200px-FixThisSRich-shirt.jpg
Maclin, you son of a bitch.
Stupid GE. Turning that scares, innocent idea into a whore.
I’ll take 5
So we replaced Alex Smith with a competent QB, let’s see if anyone notices
Much like with the Pats hurryup, it boggles the mind that NFL teams are unable to recognize Alex Smith’s patterns and abilities. Any defensive backs more than 7 yards beyond the line of scrimmage are playing WAY too deep.
Did Hill slip or did he just do a quarterback slide?
Maclin, you son of a bitch
Interesting “Let Kansas City Do Whatever the Hell They Want” defensive strategy by Yinzburgh.
Good guys winning tonight!
This, too, shall pass