/Fox pre-game intro
Joe: “The good folks at DFW Ice Creamery were kind enough to provide us with samples of their very delicious products. I chose vanilla. [licks cone lovingly] Mmm, that’s so good! Troy, what flavour did you choose?
Troy: “You know me, Joe. I’ll always choose chocolate when I’m in Dallas. It always tastes so good! [his tongue dances on the tip of the ice cream cone]
Joe: “Gosh darn it-I can not get enough of this delicious ice cream!” [makes slurping noises]
Troy: “Can’t help but notice I got a larger cone than you did.” [slurps happily away]
Joe: “You know what they say-it’s not how much you can swallow, it’s more important that you’re satisfied at the end. [makes small moaning sound]
Troy: “You got that right mister. I’ve no doubt that we’ll both end up with a bellyful.” [eyes roll back into head]
Producer: [begins to realize what is happening] “CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!”
GB/Dal– Them Cowpokes get a boner, bonus with the return of cb Claiborne after an absence of nine weeks. He’s back just in time to blanket wr Cobb because ace Jordy Nelson isn’t the gritty guy that everyone thought he was. Unlike Joe and Troy he was not able to suck it up. Another Pack wr is going to have to step up and my not-money is on Geronimooooo! (Allison) to jump into the fray and make a difference. I also think that Green Bay needs a half-decent day from te Cook. If he can grab 6-8 for 70-80 yards that will take some of the pressure off the outside guys and create a wee bit of hesitation on the part of the Dallas D.
The Cowboys just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they’ll be okay. There’s no reason to think that Eezy-Zeke will be thwarted in his efforts and that will limit the number of possessions that the white/lava/scorching/witheringly [runs out of breath] hot Rodgers will have to put points on the board. In addition, qb Prescott doesn’t seem to be the ‘rattleable’ type and the Pack’s D-Line isn’t a scary bunch with a lot of “Oomph!”. (says the old white guy from his couch) All in all, more things have to go right for Green Bay than Dallas-I think it should be close for most of the game but them Cowboys might pull away in the fourth. This is not my desired result, by the way.
Done. LET’S GO GET IT, POTLICKERS!!!
Helluva catch.
Of course he makes that catch the second I make that joke
WOO!!!!!!!
HOLY PISS
Too Many Cooks… drops
Nailbiter of a finish.
Or, if you’re in wisconsin, three extra tubs of fried cheese curds.
Rodgers knows how to grip balls
Rodgers hangs on tight to those balls.
Surprised McCarthy hasn’t punted yet.
AARon knows about good ball security when he’s getting nailed from the blind side.
where do you think he developed such strong hands??
God fuck damn it. Engage god mode already.
Right, there it is.
Are the Packers ever not looking for a flag? Bunch of bitches
I feel like this is every NFL player at this point.
Replace “Packers” with any other team name – same result.
COME ON!!!!
“Well time to go hard and deep, someone get me the amyl nitrate”
-A.A.Ron in the huddle
Pick 6. Sean lee
Hail Mary happens he will forever been known as Proud Mary.
I heard he was more a friend of Dorothy.
We’re still not going to overtime.
Kick return TD here?
Rodgers Hail Mary? Rodgers Hail Mary.
Rodgers hail mary pass, TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS to end this game.
Aaron Rodgers hall Mary incoming
2 timeouts, Packers. You will lose unless you win the toss in OT, no doubt.
Hail Mary back in play?
Thank God. I had a bad feeling about that Bailey kick.
SHANK’HOR HAS FORSAKEN US
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Womp womp
MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT!
This can’t go well.
Nevermind. That went well.
DO IT. FAIL. FULFILL YOUR DESTINY!
Imagine how good the Packers would be if they started NFL players on defense.
Truly scary
Fuck you Buck. You jinxing asshole!!!!
ANYONE BUT DALLAS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
That’s a tacit endorsement of the filthy P*ts, you sick fuck.
I’ll take 4 straight Pats rings over a single Cowboys playoff victory
So what are we thinking here?
A miraculous Dez TD negated by a penalty?
A long Bailey field goal negated by a penalty?
An Ezekiel Elliot TD run negate by a penalty?
I’m thinking SKANK’LOR will have his due.
I really don’t know how to react to an actually good playoff game. Someone hold me. I’m scared and confused
Come on cowboys get a TD.
Every instant that ball was in the air, you could feel Shank’hor and [as yet unnamed Dallas schadenfreude deity] battling each other.
Satan. The Cowboys deity is Satan.
Just think how it will feel for Tony to watch the meltdown from the sidelines instead of being the catalyst of it
I hope Prescott leads a touchdown drive and McCarthy gets fired before the extra point.
Why SHAN’KOR? Why have thou forsaken us?
A knuckler? No, A.A.Ron prefers fisting.
lucky SOB
It’s not that I WANT the Packers to win, I just don’t want the Cowboys to win… ever
This basically summarizes my feelings.
I fear if I’m blessed enough to not see Pats vs. Cowboys, I’ll have to deal with Packers vs. Steelers instead.
Holy fuck, I thought that missed. OT it is.
Yay!
What’s with Aikman’s eyes? Is he doing cocaine in the booth?
Shitty contacts I bet
Via suppository.
Off Joe’s ass.
Michael Irvin in da house!
56 yards??
MISS MISS MISS