Prop bets have always been a great way to get people who are not interested in the game, or have little knowledge of football, involved in watching. Betting on how long the National Anthem will take to play almost makes it watchable, and the fact that odds makers have to determine the line on what kind of clothes performers will be wearing is pretty damn funny. While there is thankfully a line for Lady Gaga to be wearing nothing at all, the rest are clearly anti-DFO by not including “No pants” as an option for whatever new country algorithm produced a “Luke Bryan.”
You can find a pretty complete list of the bets here, but we at DFO thought they were missing a few and decided to add some of our own:
Who will be the first player deported?
Mohammad Sanu (1/2) Ayodeji Olatoye (3/2) Julian Edleman (100/1)
Will Bill Belichick bang a MILF on camera during play?
Yes (1/1) No (10/1)
How many times will Joe Buck say the word “disgusting?” +/- 12
Will Gronk pull a Namath on Erin Andrews?
Yes (1/1) No (69/1)
How many Patriot fans or players will be caught on air using the N word? +/- 645,966
How many times will Roger Goodell be punched in the face during the Lombardi trophy ceremony?
Not enough (1/1)
Number of people Aaron Hernandez murders or orchestrates violence against during the game? +/- 27
Mentions of Eugene Robinson: +/- 5
Number of insightful comments from Troy: +/- 0.5
Number of red state heart attacks during halftime: +/- 10
Alton Brown appearances during the day: +/- 2
BBQ mentions: +/- 25
Roughing the passer penalties called against the Falcons: +/- 0.5
If the over, totally bullshit roughing the passer penalties called against the Falcons: +/- 70
Times Mohamed Sanu’s religion is mentioned: +/- 2.5
Marcus Vick sighting: +400
Trump returns the ring Putin stole from Kraft before time expires in the game: +1,000
Median age of attendees at Mark Chmura’s SB party: +/- 11.5
Grit mentions: +/- 5
Moose GIFs during game play: +/- 84
Salute to Service includes mention of “Glorious Strong Generalissimo Trump”: 6/1
Pass interference called: +/- 5.5
Number of times Brady and/or receiver signals for a flag: +/- 29.5
[Thanks to the Las Vegas Review for the Andy Reid inspired banner image]