[DFOnline] ZOMG MOAR POKEYMANZ…

…but do we still care?

So apart from me being facetious, the long-awaited Gen II Pokemon are finally out, which took them long enough. After egg hatches they had patched in earlier and not counting for the legendaries you can’t get yet and it comes out to… 87 new ones? (Okay, 85, you can’t get Smeargle, probably because it learns moves based on “sketching” them and it would be not one, not one and a half, but eight championships bitches to code, and you can’t get Delibird, don’t know why.)

The good:
• Unlike the initial launch the servers aren’t totally fucked so it’s actually possible to play!
• New Pokemon means new Pokedex entries so it’s a shot in the arm for leveling for the higher-up people who actually kept playing (like, um… me?)
• Update also means you get extra candy and stardust (used to strengthen) for catching evolved Pokemon, because otherwise they were extra rarity and extra crap for absolutely no gain and I wasn’t wasting all these balls (hehe) on goddamn Pidgeottos and Raticates when I can catch three!
• New Eeveelution cheat names (Sakura for the Psychic-type Espeon, Tamao for the Dark-type Umbreon)
• Unown’s kinda cool, no idea if they come in every letter of the alphabet plus ? and ! or what.

The bad:
• The bastards didn’t give extra box storage space for the flood of new monsters.
• Blissey (the evolved version of Chansey, but if you’re reading this you probably know that) is a game-breaker in its being a massive wall due to the insane amount of HP. And naturally everyone you know except you will have one by now because zero Chanseys showed up by me during the Valentine’s Day pink Pokemon/double candy event. I got a shit-ton of Porygons but that doesn’t help me, now does it? (Edit: And then walking to the store just now I hatched a Chansey with enough candy to evolve it. So now I have a Blissey and everyone else can suck it.)
• Evolution items which I bet will be next-to-impossible to get. (Haven’t gotten any yet.)
• Still only limited to one use of the Eeveelution cheat names. Which sucks because I have a nearly perfect stats Eevee, want to evolve it into Vaporeon (which is still the strongest of the five possibilities) because it would outdo mine and I can’t because I used the name limit. (I guess I’ll make it an Espeon, Umbreon surprisingly kinda sucks.)
• Still no P2P trading, so I can’t pass Hermana and Padre Weaselo my Asian exclusive Farfetch’d with the promise that I’m going to get it back when it’s been registered in the Dex.

So, the question asked above is, do we still care? I’m gonna go with… a little. There’s a smaller but still warring community in my neck of the woods (although the balance of power has shifted from Valor/Red to Mystic/Blue with my fellow Instinct/Yellow hitting often enough to at least get some benefits), and Saturday night after work I went driving around the Pokegyms near me and was able to get in and saw another guy in a car doing the same (also Instinct). Not sure if it’ll be the shot in the arm the game wants because it’s still cold out for the most part, but it’s a nice add and when warmer weather comes maybe then it’ll get more active.


I’ve also been playing Fire Emblem Heroes, another mobile game. I’ve always liked the Fire Emblem series but due to some reason or other (lazy) I’ve never played through a full game. I found an emulator of FE7, the first one to come to the States, online but it got taken down before I could finish it. Its main selling point is the permadeath feature—over the course of the game you get a total of 20–30 units, but have one of them die, like your best one, they’re gone for the rest of that file. And the game autosaves, so don’t try save scumming or resets.

It’s the strategy bit of the Fire Emblem series with a story that’s essentially “we can bend time and space to meet and summon characters from a dozen or so games and the other country in our world has the opposite power and is fighting us about it.” So, an excuse plot. At the moment since I’m still knocking out the story mode at higher levels I still gain the in-game currency to summon characters to join your team. I imagine that will get to be more of a pain in the ass when I’ve finished it at every setting and that may be the point I delete it.

Also there’s no permadeath and weapons don’t break from use, probably so people don’t ragedelete the app when the RNG got them some really good unit only to have it die because they accidentally left it exposed to whatever beats it in the rock-paper-scissors weapon triangle. And maybe because you only can have 4 characters on a map so losing one kinda fucks you over for the level. I don’t know. That does make it Fire Emblem Light. But it kills some time and it isn’t micropayments through the roof to get to Level 4, so if you like the series it’s okay, I guess. Will I pay real money for the in-game currency? No, I have principles.

All right, that’ll do it for this one. If you’ve been playing anything good, recommend it. Anything shitty, mock it. Anything mediocre, meh it?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Subscribe
Notify of
112 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[…] [DFOnline] ZOMG MOAR POKEYMANZ… […]

Unsurprised

Who the fuck is still watching TWD? There is no endpoint or decent story arc, and never has been. The characters suck and they’ve never been worth watching it for (Although it’s still miles ahead of the FTWD characters. Christ.).

Unsurprised

Great banner quote. I kept meaning to make a joke about the last one that no New England crullerfucker would ever call a black person a patriot in any context.

Unsurprised

Where do you think the glaze comes from?

ballsofsteelandfury

Bravo to both of you. That’s a great 1-2 punch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see the open threading has hit the normal weirdness. Evening.

WCS

John Hinkley, Jr. needs to be included in the top-ten list of “Fans Who Went Too Far,” right? I’m not fan of Reagan, but attempting to assassinate him to curry favor with Jodie Foster is pretty insane, is it not?

Just trying to settle a little discussion I’m having.

WCS

The discussion is, “Fan Who Went Too Far.” Mark David Chapman, the woman who killed Selena, and the bitch that drowned her dog to make One Direction follow her on Twitter all made this list. Hinkley is strangely absent.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, he should be on the list for sure.

Unsurprised

The woman who killed Selena did it because she was caught embezzling from the Selena fan club she ran and Selena was going to go to the police.

WCS

That’s true, but, it doesn’t exactly justify her being murdered because of it.

Unsurprised

No. This list is for closers. You don’t get a Nobel Prize for Attempted Chemistry.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

From the one friend I know that is a true Kings fan:

“I hate my basketball team.”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My best guess is, you can’t keep him much longer, and it’s better than having nothing?

The Maloofs are the Spanos of the NBA, this much I know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

OOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“MOTHERFUCKER!!”

[In Japanese]
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I trust everyone is ready for another week at work…. the attitude freshened by a relaxing weekend. Rejuvenated to be productive.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Struggling just makes it worse; spend you money before you die tho.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did we just get dark?
comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve got the day off tomorrow. Yay for dead presidents!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll have nun of that.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As Mr. Senor [sic] would say:

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ripley?
comment image

WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

WCS

comment image
Sup?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

I think there’s a lot of subtext here, I’m not sure. Also:
– Is he killing him or freeing him from beneath wreckage?
– Does the wreckage represent society’s attitudes?
– Where are the bubbles coming from?
– And just how do you cure constipation without drugs?
– Is the pole a dick?
– Where do you get a mask like that?

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WHOMEVER ROLLED THAT DOOB KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOIN’!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH REALLY!
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

laserguru

After a full weekend working hard in the Sunday Gravy Test Kitchen, I can declare a complete and utter success.
That was a lot of goddamn work and last night I had a couple of doubts but I came through this afternoon and holy shit are you folks in for some fun next week.

I’m fucking exhausted.

Let’s get crunk!

ballsofsteelandfury

How did you find a picture of Rex’s bed?!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just enough for the Trumpets to believe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m a little more than halfway through Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate, and while I am going to finish it, I’m highly considering being done with the series. Black Flag was a game play masterpiece, and then they decided to completely redesign the engine for Unity and lost all of the appeal. They said that they learned from these mistakes, and I was promised so many improvements, and they’re just not there. The climbing is still clunky and frustrating as hell, the load times are absurd, the game has crashed multiple times on my PS4 (this has maybe happened twice in two years prior,) the economy is the most easily broken in the series and one of the two main playable characters is truly obnoxious and horribly voice-acted. Oh, and when fans said they wanted more of the “present day story line” that was completely missing from Unity, they meant more than just some fucking cutscenes

I’ll admit that the combat is better, and that might have been the only issue with the series before, but it’s not worth the cost of what everything else has become.

At least Mass Effect is on the horizon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOIzH6UcoW4

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh and also….fuck the Rangers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

There, that’s better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

I thought Pikachu dies years ago in some kind of freak industrial accident, but apparently is still alive and well, especially in Singapore. I got to spend the day at Changi Airport recently, which is actually nothing more than a huge mall with valet parking for Boeings and Airbuses. That Pokeyman shit was everywhere, even the inflight duty free catalog. They had a stuffed Pikachu the size of a Great Dane that would have been purchased by the Mrs. if we weren’t maxed out carry-on wise.
http://imageshack.com/a/img922/3680/888xxh.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Singapore is a very interesting place with amazing food. I’d go back in a second.