2017 Madness Open Thread – Friday Evening Block

The marathon is almost over.  You can see the finish line cresting just over the hill.  Just.  Keep.  Drinking!!

#16MW UC-Davis v. #1MW Kansas (6:50, TNT)

Again…win the game, Aggies…I buy a shirt.  But I suspect I sneak in a power nap here.  Fuck the Jayhawks, fuck Sam Brownback, fuck Josh Jackson.

#10S Wichita State v. #7S Dayton (7:10, CBS)

Set your alarms for this one, though, because Scary Wheat and the Fightin’ Archies is the game of the day.  These be true mid-major titans, with top-notch coaches and deep, veteran teams.  It will be a very fun, high-level chess match for the viewer.

#15E Troy v. #2E Duke (7:20, TBS)

Christ, I am really running out of fucking shirt money here.

#11S Kansas State v. #6S Cincinnati (7:27, truTV)

K State?? Oh, you best believe they a Hippo Sleeper (Elite Eight potential).  Cincinnati?? Grossly overrated.  Though home to one of history’s most underrated sitcom’s, WKRP in Cincinnati.  “With God as my witness, I thought a turkey could fly.”

#9MW Michigan State v. #8MW Miami (9:20, TNT)

At what point do we get to set aside the Tom Izzo hoodoo and just admit that Sparty ain’t much account this season?  I guess after they lose to Miami, another well-coached side who has been playing much better basketball.

#15S Northern Kentucky v. #2 Kentucky (9:40, CBS)

The Norse may be dancin’ – but the only “white power” in effect tonight will be the white lightnin’ being consumed in hollers all over the Commonwealth in celebration of Big Blue whoopin’ ass.

#10E Marquette v. #7E South Carolina (9:50, TBS)

Somehow, I don’t think I managed to see Wojo’s Warriors play all season.  But I am comfortable saying they are better than South Cakalaky because they are not South Cakalaky.

#14S Kent State v. #3 UCLA (9:57, truTV)

Antonio Gates ain’t walking through that door, Golden Flashes.  And they also probably won’t let you change the game to football, either.  Though Lonzo Ball’s dad assures you his sons would whip your ass at that, too.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Croooow

I’m not a fan of the idea of “moral victories”, but the fact that Northern Kentucky (which has been in D1 for only like five years) didn’t get completely ran off by Kentucky is actually impressive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Croooow

Lehigh over Duke is still one of my all-time favorite upsets. I think it’s because big, bad Duke lost to a school whose name (Lehigh Mountain Hawks) sounds like something you’d hear on an episode of Newhart.

Northern Iowa over Kansas is a pretty close second.

...

When I was in Missouri, a Mizzou guy hated Kansas so much that whenever a team upset Kansas in the tournament, he’d go out and buy a shirt of the upsetting team and wear it proudly.

WCS

Does Tom Izzo have some kind of blood oath contract with the Roman god, Mars? There can’t be any other explanation for Sparty’s success in March.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Four stars, check it out!

Croooow

Izzo’s success in the tournament makes that loss to Middle Tennessee all the more shocking.

...

He got a larger dose of whatever Belichick and Brady got.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Might be my favorite episode of any cartoon, ever.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I guess it was too much to hope for an Irish Xmas miracle of Duke losing to Troy…

litre_cola

Big Milkmen fan over here.

litre_cola
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

NKU fans in about 10 minutes:

http://oi52.tinypic.com/33xx7o7.jpg

Redshirt

Actually, the counties in Northern Kentucky hates UK. Ohio has a weird thing too; Metro Cincinnati completely hates Ohio State.

The Indiana counties are just there wondering if anyone knows they exist.

Croooow

I’m always a little surprised that Ohio State and Cincinnati rarely play against each other in anything. I’m guessing there just isn’t a strong enough reason or desire to start something?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

comment image?t=1

Croooow

You had one job, Troy University.

Unsurprised

I can’t remember the last time I had a drink, although I definitely had two at the building Valentine’s Day party and maybe one since.

WCS

Gave up the booze in lieu of PCP, eh?

Unsurprised

No, poverty.

WCS

God damn, what a sequence by the Most Neutral of College Basketball Teams.

litre_cola

Maybe

Unsurprised

Everything about this is hotter than sex.

h
ttps://i.imgur.com/4EDu8PL.gifv

WCS

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Redshirt

Yeah, slice into that pie.

Croooow

I want to believe, with all my heart, that a #16 can beat a #1. That it’s not impossible. But, man, I just don’t know…

Unsurprised

I wish I was getting drunk now and she was serving me.
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herodotus450

Barkley in that Kent State jersey is the worst thing to ever happen to Kent State.

Redshirt

I saw Barkley in the Kent State jersey and for a second I thought he was wearing a bright yellow bib.

Unsurprised

He’s probably using it as one.

laserguru

I now present a list of recent basketball related phrases that need to stop and desist immediately.

1. Euro Step- Fuck you that’s a non-called travelling violation.
2. The run-out – no shithead that’s a “fast break” You can call it a “break” for reasons of brevity.
3. Score the basketball – just, fuck you! Do you say that Le’Veon Bell “scores the football?” No.
4. Heat check – motherfucker missed a “3” that is all.

litre_cola
litre_cola

I agree with every single point here. May I add?
In Ice football 1. Heavy shot – there is no weight in a shot.
2. Pitching a shutout. – pitching has nothing to do with it.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Point of order: neither does “pitching a tent” in either the literal or euphemistic usages

litre_cola

Well they tune in to heart wrenching Championship action when Wolves visit the Cottage this weekend. WE SELL YOU THE WHOLE SEAT!!! BUT YOU WILL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!!

Unsurprised

Channel your inner ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER

ALL I WANT IS WAR. I WANT TERRIBLE SHIT TO HAPPEN. I WANNA SEE HOW WE FUCK THIS UP. I WANNA SEE HOW IT GOES TO SHIT. NUKE IT ALL. FUCK IT— ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER (@ZODIAC_MF) October 1, 2016

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Redshirt

Been there, my Regal mammal. Don’t hold back; go Scorched Earth.

litre_cola

I have not seen 1 Fast and Furious movie.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So your brain cells are doing pretty good

Redshirt

I watched 20 minutes of one, but in my defense Eva Mendes was involved.

The Maestro

I’ve seen them all. They’re like fast food – a total guilty pleasure – a tried and true formula – but it hits the spot every damn time no matter where you are.

litre_cola

That is a great observation. Kinda like spy movies for me.

laserguru

I saw the first one just because they filmed it in my old home town of San Pedro.
It was alright.

Then I stopped after the 2nd one.

laserguru

Beer #9

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m somewhere between 11-13. I’m starting to get there.

laserguru

Fuck it.

Here comes 11 AND 12.

Redshirt

Can’t drink beer. I overate at a St. Patrick’s Day Party at work. Now it feels like my stomach acid is being redirected to throat.

If they make an alcoholic Tums, I’d be right on it.

laserguru

Might be time to smoke a little something something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aV7CoZ84fM

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It is green…

laserguru
Redshirt

I’m watching a shirtless Spock mount a shirtless Kirk. Its not often someone’s slashfic script is bought to screen.

Unsurprised

I’m watching Die Hard.

WCS

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Redshirt

I’m watching Kirk, Spock and McCoy dressed as Nazis.

Redshirt

(Sunday)
Dad: “Who does Cincinnati play?”
Me: “Winner of Kansas State and Wake Forest on Friday?”
Dad: “Want to watch the game with me?”
Me: “Sure!”

(Thursday)
Dad: “When does Cincinnati play?”
Me: “Tomorrow at 7:30.”
Dad: “See you then!”

(Friday)
Me: “I’m here to watch the game.”
Dad: (snoring)

WCS

Looks like you’re getting the exact guy you didn’t want, Hippo:

http://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/18935743/nc-state-wolfpack-hire-kevin-keatts-coach

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You can join my Division III bandwagon! No athletic scholarships means that only the GRITTIEST kids who Really Love The Game play! /hides tears that both Wash U teams bombed out of the tournaments

Redshirt

Thanks, Peloton! I definitely want to broadcast my face while I’m on exercise bike feeling like my heart is about to explode.

laserguru

Here’s what I’ve been cooking this afternoon.

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Cheers!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Extra Stout? Solid choice.

laserguru

It cuts right through the corned beef fat beautifully.

Dick E. Phuck

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litre_cola

How could any of us not take a team with the nickname Shockers?

Unsurprised

Hey, Fucknuts. I guess Sexy Friday is cancelled on account of nude leaks from this morning.

I feel really good today. I’ve gotten some steam in my match against depression, so I’d call today’s round a win in my favor.

EDIT: Goddammit, NMSU. I can’t say I’m surprised, but it still stings like I was visited by a Baylor athlete last night.

Redshirt

So Sexy Friday is cancelled on account of hand cramps and dehydration?

Unsurprised

Oh, someone (Lemonjello and nomonkeyfun, doing the Lord’s Work) posted a bunch of bouncy titty gifs on the previous page while I was gone, but that was then and this is now. What have you done for me lately?

Redshirt

Watching all coverage of the NKU fans celebrating their team making the Dance is lovely and cool. If only I can see all their faces when Kentucky takes the court.

But if NKU can somehow pull off the upset, I may drive two hours to Lexington just to see all the UK fans’ shellshocked faces.

scotchnaut

You’ve done a shit ton of good work with these previews, Hippo.

Redshirt

Say what you want about all 90s SNL Movies not named “Wayne’s World” in the title, but “Coneheads” isn’t that bad. It at least meant well.

litre_cola

I thought The Ladies Man was funny.

Redshirt

1. It was 2000.
2. Yes, it had an original story, it had heart and it didn’t try to tell the same joke for 87 minutes.
3. It has this:

http://www.moviefancentral.com/images/pictures/52919/image_cf94bae24.jpg

litre_cola

She was very sexy in those years.

Dick E. Phuck

She may very well still be.

The Maestro

I didn’t know Rhode Island was even a D1 school before this week.

Redshirt

I don’t know what I was smoking on Monday, but somehow I picked them into the Sweet 16.

Unsurprised

What does it say about me that I did?

Fronkenshteen

Spread is 23 here. Gimme UC-Davis.

litre_cola

I thought Lamar Odom died.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

His dick lived tho

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

T2 Trainspotting came out today.

And like Kelly Macdonald in the first, there is some solid nudity.

litre_cola

Love WKRP, any one know where to get it online? I know the music royalties is why it was not released on some form of dvd.

Redshirt

YouTube has a few episodes. Its not that hard to put generic music in place like WWE does with “Enter Sandman” and “Voodoo Child”.