DFO At Work: Your Mock Draft Rounds 2-3 Results

I was going to try to put together a mock draft for Rounds 2-3 but then I realized that doing that would be A LOT of work and I didn’t want to.  So I rang the alarm bell at the DFO clubhouse and called in some reinforcements.  The following, pictured above in no particular order, were your participants:

Horatio Cornblower

The Maestro

BFC

King Hippo

Don T

Internet Dad

Right Rev. Electric Mayhem (I think; he used his real name for the draft and I’m sure as shit not putting that here)

The rules were simple.  I randomly set the order we’d each pick in, each person would have a minute to pick, no trading, although you could say you thought the pick would be traded in real life, and then on to the next pick.  Easy, right?  Here’s what happened:

Green Bay (Horatio)  Thinks it will be traded but for the sake of the draft, Bubba Baker, DB, Washington.

49ers (Maestro)  Forrest Lamp, OL Western Kentucky

Jacksonville (Hippo)  Hippo disappears, Horatio assigns Cam Robinson to the Jaguars

Bears (Don T)  Don T disappears, Horatio assigns Obi Melifonwu, DB, UCONN, to the Bears.  Don T. comes back in, tries to draft Cam Robinson to the Bears, Maestro goes all hockey fan on his ass and starts chanting “YOU CAN’T DO THAT”

Rams (Internet Dad)  In a meeting.  Horatio assigns Kevin King to the Rams but then Dad comes back and says Marcus Maye, S, Florida, and since he runs this place Horatio allows it, which prompts Don T to (correctly) accuse Horatio of being a dictator.  Don T then has to leave for ‘business reasons’ and disappears.

Chargers (RREM)  Josh Jones, DB, NC State.  Kudos to the good reverend for actually being on the ball.

Jets:  (BFC)  That Mixon asshole out of Oklahoma.  This pick comes in late just as Horatio is giving the Jets Azuwie, the CB out of somehwere, (Colorado?  I forget), at the same time as Hippo, who has forgotten that we’re going in order and not by teams, as was discussed much earlier, as sending Azuwie to the Panthers, who he was suppose to pick for.  Horatio, who is regretting even thinking this thing up, says “fuck it”. and assigns Azuwie to the Panthers while acknowledging that BFC has a point and the Jets are dumb enough to pick Mixon here.

Pantheres (Hippo)  Azuwie.  See above

Bengals (Maestro)  Maestro, who by now is the only one paying attention, takes Alvin Kamar, RB, Tennessee.

Saints:  (Hippo)  Hippo, still trying to figure out the rules, jumps in and takes Desmond King, S, Iowa

Eagles:  (BFC)  The Right Reverend was supposed to pick this one but got hauled into Court.  BFC was the first to jump in, the rules now having degenerated to “just shout it out, anyone”, and takes Sidney Jones, CB, Washington.

Bills:  (Internet Dad)  Disappears.  Again.  Horatio takes DeShone Kizer for the Bills, mostly for the laughs.

Cardinals (Horatio) (Filling in for the held-hostage-by-a-judge RREM)  Davis Webb, QB, Cal.

Colts (BFC)  Isaac Asiata, taken for the “funny name principle”.

Ravens:  (Internet Dad) Jordan Willis, DE, Kansas State.  Which doesn’t make a lot of sense, but makes more sense when you realize that Horatio told Dad he was picking for the Colts.

Vikings:  (Internet Dad)  Zay Jones, WR out of somewhere.

Reds**ns:  Pending!  As of this moment Maestro is on his way to class, Zymn has showed up and we’re making jokes about Jake Butts.

So, yeah, it went about as well as you’d expect.  Yours in the comments.  Start with the Redacteds and go from there.