NFL News:

• The Jaguras have picked up Blake Bortles’ fifth-year option, likely looking ahead to next year’s draft.
• The League has decided not to fine Falcons draft pick Takkarist McKinley for his colourful interview with Prime right after being drafted on Thursday.
  • not that Goodell probably didn’t want to though…
    • no contract at the time = not a League employee
• Load up on Duracells, Philly, because the city & business community are planning a proposal to host the 2026 Super Bowl.
• Jamaal Charles is looking to take his fourteen carries per year to Denver.
• The ABC affiliate in Cincinnati is calling for a boycott of Bengals home games, in protest of their drafting Joe Mixon.

Finally – and I can’t believe I’m doing this – your long-read of the day is the Wichita Wrangler’s column about spending the draft weekend with the 49ers. Sure, it’s a bit blowjobby, but the parts where he talks about their overall draft strategy are where he really wipes his chin. And then there’s this section on the trade with Seattle to get their pick at 31 that sounds like something I wrote:

Seattle GM John Schneider (26) called.

Marathe: “John, we got a nice juicy fourth pick in the fourth round, 111 overall, for you to move … Yeah, I know, but we like 67 [the third-round pick] too.”
Schneider would think about it.

“He’s got to pee,” Marathe said. “He’ll call back.”

Fifteen minutes passed. Marathe called Schneider back. “Still in?”

Lynch: “Ask him how the pee was.”

Shanahan: “Long one.”

It all falls apart after the draft paragraphs, turning into a word-salad from a man who doesn’t eat actual salad but does on occasion toss salad for quotes & insider info. But up until then, it reminds you that ol’ PK was once a reporter of measured quality. Now he’s just a tosser.

Today is May Day. Now, for a history major like me, it reminds me of the old days, when the Soviet Union would trot out the show of force that people believed actually worked (looking at you, Kim Jong Un) and attempt to show the world that they were an equal match to the USA.

And the posters! Say what you will about the drabness of actual propaganda, but Soviet art was a thing of managed beauty.

Please also consider this your reminder to catch up on “The Americans”.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Capitals at Penguins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
• NBA:
  • Raptors at Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TNT / TSN
  • Rockets at Spurs – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN
• MLB:
  • Blue Jays at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • Orioles at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
• WWE: Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

IT’S A BLISSFUL AGE WE LIVE IN!