Your “No Problems Here – What Are You Talking About?”

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Tony Romo will miss Friday’s Chiefs-Seahawks game because his son was born last night. Good for him.
    • Little Jones McCoy Romo joins older brothers Hawkins & Rivers in the Romo playpen.
      • I’m guessing the name is a tribute to JERRAL, and an unsilent thank-you for the bonus money he kept after retiring.
  • Some bored reporter got the bright idea to ask Chargers coach Anthony Lynn if there’s a rivalry brewing between the Rams & Chargers. He gave the best answer he could:
    • “Not really,” Lynn said, via the OC Register. “Because neither one of us have done anything yet. So you’ve got to do something first. Maybe the fight is between the marketing departments. I don’t know.”
  • It’s all fine in Jacksonville…except that Chad Henne is starting tonight versus Carolina.
    • They have no other options at this point, because they drafted everything but a QB in 2017.
      • As a reminder, Bortles was the No. 3 overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft. Sporting News has a story on the failure of the entire first round of that year’s QB drafts.
      • Not for nothing, but a cursory search tells me the Argos may have Bortles CFL rights.
    • And………….here comes the Kaepernick rumours.
  • On the Kaep front, an interesting day in New York Wednesday:
    • The protest outside NFL HQ took place. About 1000 people were reported to have attended.
      • Speaking at the protest, the Rev. Jamal Bryant said. “The NFL has proven with their treatment of Colin Kaepernick that they do not mind if black players get a concussion. They just got a problem if black players get a conscience.”
    • The NAACP has asked for a meeting with Roger Goodell “to discuss NFL players and their ability to exercise their First Amendment rights”.
      • Forgive a Canadian, but I thought the First meant the government couldn’t shut you up, and that a private corporation can do what they want.
        • Like how after Charlottesville people alt-righters got fired and crocodile tears were spilled for them.
    • Someone asked for Hank Aaron’s opinion.
      • “I think he’s getting a raw deal,” said Aaron.
    • CBS Sports with the dig of the day:
      • “Anytime you can get a guy who managed to set music back 50 years — by mashing up “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Werewolves of London” into a horrific new song that’s just catchy enough to worm into your ear — to weigh in on a sports/politics controversy, you have to do it.”
      • All because, while performing at the Iowa State Fair (uh huh), Robert James Ritchie said,
        • “Football’s about ready to start. You know what? [expletive] Colin Kaepernick.”
    • Finally, PFT (of all sites) brings up Michael Sam (of all people) in comparison:

Three years ago, Peter King reported prior to the first game of the 2014 regular season (Packers at Seahawks) that the NFL called multiple teams in an effort to get one of the teams to sign Michael Sam to its practice squad. The Cowboys eventually did.

With Kaepernick, it would unfold the same way. Phone calls and arm twists and horse trades would eventually result in Kaepernick being employed. Whether it’s offering the team a wink-nod chance to host a Super Bowl or a dispensation from having to give up a home game to London or a 10-year exemption from Hard Knocks or whatever else the league can quietly offer, there are ways the NFL could place Kaepernick on a team, if the NFL really wanted to.

Finally, ESPN has a breakdown of the difference between a tank and a failing franchise, in a discussion about the Jets.

  • Basically, it comes down to, you have to have a solid plan in order to tank. ESPN alleges the Jets are too inept to be able to tank properly, and are simply failing all on their own.

Game preview: Dolphins at Eagles

Sticking with my cursory SBNation analysis/thievery, the Dolphins’ site The Phinsider is thrilled to note Mike Pouncey will be making his debut tonight, and explains to their readers the metaphorical concept of removing the “bubble wrap” from a 300-pound player. Speaking of bubble wrap, they are hedging their bets on Jay Cutler, as “Why there is no question about Ryan Tannehill and his $17.5 million” goes into the logic of keeping Tannehill no matter what happens this season with Jay Cutler under center. Otherwise, their site is mostly game preview, discussing such topics as:

Meanwhile, over at the harbingers of doom known as Bleeding Green Nation, they are really trying to drum up interest in a lineup that smell like something Jeff Fisher threw out. When I clicked on the link, “How to watch the Eagles-Dolphins game“, I half-expected a pop-up ad for 6-pack sales at Wawa to appear. They pump an ESPN Insider poll that (somehow) ranks Carson Wentz slightly behind Jameis Winston & Marcus Mariota, higher than Sam Bradford, and notes Jared Goff as #32. Their preview about “Thirteen players to watch tonight” is a misnomer because #2 is “The offensive line”, so they might as well have said “Let’s watch; you decide”.

Prediction: An unwatchable 13-7 Eagles victory.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Dolphins at Eagles – 7:00PM | NFL Network
  • CFL:
    • Blue Bombers at Alouettes – 7:30PM | TSN
  •  Baseball:
    • Little League World Series:
      • U.S. Elimination Game: New England vs. Southwest – 7:30PM | ESPN
        • Fairfield, CT vs. Lufkin, TX
    • MLB:
      • Red Sox at Cleveland – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

I was doing food deliveries for my buddy’s Greek restaurant last night. The delivery to the motel down the street was for $78. A topless hooker answered the door, paid, and no-tipped the delivery. OR DIDN’T SHE?!

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo
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I wouldn’t have guessed that Austin Romine was a cat.

/That’s pretty good, I think…
//Goddammit Gary, you know you’re gonna get 5 for that

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Where’d you find this footage of me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
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Oh my.

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Senor Weaselo
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Basically, it comes down to, you have to have a solid plan in order to tank. ESPN alleges the Jets are too inept to be able to tank properly, and are simply failing all on their own.

Well I could’ve told you that! Give me money!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

The green arrow points into other people’s souls.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

It would’ve been fun tattooing someone of these onto her.

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Unsurprised
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It still somehow amazes me that Hollywood could fuck up making an R-rated Baywatch movie, in part by not having Alexandra Daddario get naked in it. It’s not like she’s somehow become above nudity.

ALXMAC
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ALXMAC

I watched it tonite; 3/10 – would not resuscitate.
That gal that plays CJ tho:

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

She’s supposedly dating A-A-RON now.

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ALXMAC
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ALXMAC

Didn’t know that. Apparently A-RON is the new age J-TIMB. Color me jealous.

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NSFW video

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

The Dolphins cheerleaders should make a version of the remix, with Catler doing the Ol’ Dirty Bastard parts.

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