Lesser Saturday FOAR Lesser Footy

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

I hope you enjoyed last week’s hefty smorgasbord, but the pickings are way the fuck thinner this weekend, at least the Saturday portion.  Onwards we go, nonetheless!

Palace and Soton open things up (7:30, NBCSN), with the former sporting a new manager after collecting ZERO points from the first four fixtures.  Saints have 5, good for 13th position, so nobody will blame you for sleeping in.

Back to only one televised match in the 10:00 window (NBCSN), surprising 4th position Watford hosting Man City (in 2nd based on goal differential to United).  The Moose Hornets have stepped into a vacuum of sorts left by stumblers the likes of Arsenal and fucking Everton.  City should represent a tall order, but I’d expect a real fight in this one.  If you’ve paid for NBC Sports Gold like a sucker (see Hippo, King) then Huddersfield Town v. Leicester is a decent second match to stream in the background.

Spurs and Swans are the big NBC game (12:30), but my affiliate is showing NC State/Furman JV NFL instead.  Swans are garbage, so I can hardly blame them.

Sunday Funday is where all the prime action resides, with the nameless (but fierce) Derby between Arsenal and Chelsea (8:30, CNBC) followed by Wayne Rooney’s return with Everton to Old Trafford to face Romelu Lukaku’s United (10:55, NBCSN).  Chelsea are in 3rd and look to cement their status as a contender to repeat as champions, whilst 11th position Arsenal need to fight off wolves at the doorstep.  My Toffees…are just a hot fucking mess and their table position (combined with United being first) are proof positive of just how many problems a monster like Big Rom papers over.

I still miss and love the big guy, and watching this match will hurt like hell on many fucking levels.

Oklahoma State at Pitt (Noon, ESPN)

It’s a testament to just how bad this window is that this game is being highlighted.  BDSM State should win by 4-5 TDs.  I will watch my shitty wolves play, and likely struggle against, their 1-AA foe.

UCLA at Memphis (Noon, ABC)

Come for the Chosen Rosen, stay for the…Chosen Rosen.

SMU at TCU (3:30, ESPNU)

It seems like a bunch of ponies would freak the fuck out over a bunch of eye-blood shootin’ horny toads, does it not?  But shit, I want to see it happen.  Entropy, WOO!!

Tennessee at Florida (3:30, CBS)

Both of these sides are (barely) ranked.  Do not expect that to last very much longer.  But maybe we get some entertainment for old times’ sake.

LSU at Mississippi State (7:00, ESPN)

Here’s a fixture with a recent history of being all cray-cray.  Dunno if Dan Mullen has the Cowbells re-stocked enough to compete yet, or if having DAK! was a once in a lifetime window for him/them.  If so, hey, they always have the Starkville prison to brag on.

Kentucky at South Carolina (7:30, SECN)

Why didn’t they show this in the noon window, FFS?  Interesting early season SEC East matchup, two teams who are pretty much an open book.  KY in particular has nothing to lose, and could be dangerous as a result.  The Chickens oft bumble these games.

Clemson at Louisville (8:00, ABC)

Once again, I will root heartily for the upfront, “no bones about it” evil of Bobby Petrino against the faux “humble Christian” shtick of DABO! any day of the week.  Clemson is the dirtiest program in the ACC not named U*NC, and yes, that includes Rapey Jameis’ alma mater.  Not easy to do.

Texas at Southern Cal (8:30, Fox)

This game won’t be much account, but there will be Song Girls, and tis always fun to laugh at Texas.  Plus I guess some chance of a post-Stanford hangover effect.

Stanford at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)

Fun game, everyone gets to find a new channel whilst crunk!  The Aztecs, fresh off they Coed Bowl win, host the downtrodden Trees.  Momentum in JV NFL tends to mean jack shit, though.  Bettors beware…

Ole Miss at Cal (10:30, ESPN)

Interesting tweaker alternate game, in that it should at least be a shootout.  Not sure Johnny Reb will travel that well, but also think Cal isn’t very good.

 

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450
herodotus450

I’m offering a hip new cross-posting service where all your best comments get posted to BOTH open threads! Only $9.99 per month with a 6 year contract and auto bills every year after that! You’d be stupid NOT to sign up!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Are we moving into the Evening Lounge or staying here? Cause all you slapdicks left me to clean up the mess last weekend.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Damn it. Florida feed just changed over to Ohio army game. I need to find another feed, but eventually my mother is going to notice these porn advertisements.

WCS

All of Knoxville right now (artist’s conception):

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay foar Allie, though.

scotchnaut

“SHUT UP FLORIDA!”

-Al Gore and Bea Arthur

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit. You gotta be shitting me.

WCS

Um….

LemonJello
LemonJello

So, Geaux Tigers v Misstate? At least until Clemson v Louisville?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like the Florida Gators Football.

— A. Reid

WCS

Andy Reidian

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I cook up some pork sausage. I ask my mother if she wants any.

“Oh no JSD…I can’t handle the spicy stuff. I’m not even hungry”.

Proceeds to eat all my sausage.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Were definitely NOT doing phrasing anymore, right?

scotchnaut

If you could pay attention to phrasing, that’d be great.

WCS

BLEERGH DEMANDS A SACRIFICE

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Hell of a play by Tenn defense.

WCS

Vols’ special teams (artist’s conception):

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scotchnaut

I’ve no doubt that the special team captain’s breath smells like cat food.

scotchnaut

Oh Auburn.

scotchnaut

Auburn will win this but taking this long to figure out Mercer?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rocky Top no too very happy.

WCS

Auburn leading Mercer, 17-10, with lots of time left.

EEESSSS EEEEEEEEEE SSSSEEE

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Haters gonna hate…and rub in their ability to spell gooder than us…

WCS

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WCS

Spencer Hall is a die-hard Gators fan:

https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/909181413575892993

WCS

Vols… competence…?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

They put the “special” in special teams.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

You know what is fun? Not having cable so you are watching an internet feed…and an eastern European porn site link advertisement just pops up….and your mother is sitting on your couch next to you just rambling.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

At least you didn’t click on the ad.

Right?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Somehow she didn’t notice and never stopped her story about random people I don’t fucking know having horrible diseases.

“Lockjaw you say? Wow…thank god you don’t have that mom”

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I look forward to being old enough to do this.

WCS

Oh, Florida.

scotchnaut

-Bea Arthur

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hi

scotchnaut

Hey you.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

“Another football game?”

“Yes”

“I think it’s terrible these players don’t even go to class”

“Ma….I love ya…but if you don’t stop talking…I’m going to have an anuerysm”

scotchnaut

North Texas coach doesn’t skip “arm day”.

WCS

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This is their secret weapon.

scotchnaut

I don’t know a single person that has harnessed the power of the crow.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I beg your pardon?
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scotchnaut

OK. Fine. But it didn’t last very long.

WCS

PROTIP: When the soba noodle place says their food is hot, they aren’t fucking with you.

scotchnaut

“Hot-hot” or “Hot-spicy”?

WCS

Yes.

scotchnaut

I’m a huge North Texas fan all of a sudden.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Army does it’s job and makes a team turn to Nuremberger.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Parents are visiting for the weekend…

This has been…interesting…

WCS

Time for Corned Beef & Co.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I loved watching Carmen Sandiego as a kid.
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herodotus450
herodotus450

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scotchnaut

This one has received a fair bit of play over the years

scotchnaut

HALFTIME!

My vote for the song that gets recycled most often for commercials