Whether it be Thanksguiving, Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples Day, happy holiday Monday to you all.

And if you didn’t have a holiday today, maybe move to a better state or country.

There’s no NFL News update because I may or may not have typed this last Thursday, right before I picked up my first bottle ahead of the Thursday Night game. If the Patriots lost, I’m blitzed until Tuesday.

Game preview: Vikings at Bears.

Hold onto your butts, because tonight marks the first appearance of…

the Truth Biscuit!

Mitch Trubisky, fresh from a whole 13 starts at the U*NC, starts tonight & we’ll get to see whether the Bears laughably wasted those draft picks to move up one spot to get him. Looking at their schedule, it’s probably the best time to start him, as after this the Bears next face off against the Ravens, Panthers, Saints & Packers. If they ever wanted to get him a start & avoid David Carr-ing him, this is the game. Plus, they have a deadly 1-2 combination at running back. If John Fox is a smart man, the ratio of running-to-passing plays is 2 or 3:1.

(Ron Howard voice: he was not a smart man.)

The Vikings, meanwhile, don’t know who’s starting half their positions until they take attendance on the bus leaving the hotel. A Filipino bellhop could end up being their long snapper if he doesn’t get off in time. Current starting QB Teddy Bridgewater Sam Bradford Danny Wuerffel Case Keenum just has to copy the Rodgers tape from last week & stay upright in order to have a successful-enough game to carry the Vikings to victory.

Anyone for a 10-10 tie?

^{(A billion thanks to Low Commander for the awesome photoshop.)}

Tonight’s sports:

• NFL:
  • Vikings at Bears – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
    • en espanol en ESPN2
• NHL:
  • Black Hawks at Leafs – 9:00PM | NHLN; TSN4 (regional)
• MLB:
  • Game 4 (if necessary) – AL Divisional Series – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet1

Holiday Monday and a short work week?