Here we are, as usual, sitting on the cusp of the next week(end) of glorious football. How’ve you been? Good? Good. I’m glad we got those inane pleasantries out the way quickly. Are you in the mood to briefly scan some silly tidbits that may/may not be relevant to the tilt that is about to fill your eyebulbs? Wonderful! Why don’t we head… TO THE GAME!
KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND: We here at Door Flies Open will never stop making light jabs at His Heavy-ness, the only man that includes an entire chocolate waterfall in his daily diet, the coach that time forgot (sorry, forgets the time), the eater of all the ribs, wings and other things on the Family Feast Plate, the one, the only Andy Reid. Say what you will about the guy but man, does he ever take care of business in the regular season. The Chiefs have a lovely little 12 game winning-streak going against all comers in the AFC West, including 5 frickin’ straight vs. the Raiders. Sure they’re coming off a loss to the Steelers but Oakland went down to the Lawnclippers last week. Sheesh! Many folks (including yours truly) thought that the Raiders would be in the thick of things this year playoff-wise but that doesn’t seem to be the case and the recent Carr crash didn’t help things at all. Statistics say that Derek would be wise to air it out to Amari because the Chiefs have given up the most number of ‘long’ plays (defined as runs of 11+ yards and passing plays of 15+) in the NFL. I wouldn’t sleep on wr Crabtree though-he’s grabbed 5 TD’s on only 25 receptions. Te Kelce has had some ringing in his ears recently (concussion) but the decibels have dropped to an acceptable level so he should bounce back from last week’s lousy game. Biggest surprise I had while prepping for this post was discovering that the Niners’ Navarro Bowman will be starting for the Raiders. Is there a student-exchange kind of thingy going on in the league now?
You know what to do.
OPI!!!
6 seconds after the DET fuckening runoff
Is Rikki going to need to go to the hospital for an erection lasting more than four hours?
his ass down first
Wow!
down inside the 1
Yep.
I thought he slid before contact. I can’t see it getting overturned.
I stand corrected.
Shank it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow
Holy Crap! What a catch!
Hole. E. Sheet.
Houlton has that OPI down pat
Maybe he should be a DB instead.
TD and failed 2pt attempt might get me moar Kelce pts in OT. Yes I vote for that.
Like, such shit that I am worried the Shitty Clippers will back into the playoffs at 8-8
These teams are both shit.
Holton: What??? Nobody said I couldn’t do that.
Been awhile seen I’ve seen a non-#ThePauls defense tackle as shittily as the Chefs
Commercial break:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HSQklvzNNDY
yeah, Catler/Flacco will be a goddamned riot, Jeeeeem
“Wow, what a rush!”
Used to say that a lot back in the 70s myself, Tony.
Now that the Cubs are hibernating, I’ll just go back to post shit like this:
I drink this beer often!
According to the persistence hunting theory, Jogging is actually the sort of hunting that primitive humans engaged in. We evolved as long-distance runners who would keep pursuing their prey until they wore out.
what explains CrossFit?
Throw deep. TO BLOODMOUTH.
/pours out a bottle of Old Style
Hey all.
I lied. THIS is the drive where Oakland is unable to stop KC and never sees the ball again.
It’s like you’re one of those pre-cognitives in that Minority Report movie.
Doh!
Is that the first 3-and-out of the game?
Has it really been 1988 since the Dodgers last WS appearance? Seems almost hard to believe. Haven’t they always been good or at least competitive?
They’ve been close, but lost in the NLCS to Philly, St. Louis or Chicago.
Perennial bridesmaids of late.
SL is to LA what SF is to SL
Yay, Los Dodgeros! Sweated out a 10-point squeaker.
Memphis/UH game over on ESPN is pretty good.
Whatever chance the Raiders have at the rest of the season comes down to this drive.
Doh!
BYE, CUBS.
He didn’t need those ribs. He’s fine.
Prediction: the Raiders won’t even see the ball again.
Ah, I love making good things happen by forcing the Universe to prove me wrong.
Back on this “9 point game” thing. For onesies, OAK was at the 10, not the 2. And was like 4th and 6, not 4th and 1. BIG DIFFERENCE. Also much more time on the clock.
Even so, you see the downside, as KC burns clock and approaches FG range.
That KHunt is slippery tonight.
bloodmouth WOO!!!!
Jelly brain got moar jelly brained.
*sigh*
throw to bloodmouth
No, jelly brain.
ANNOUNCER: The Chiefs are statistically the best fourth quarter team in the NFL.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: THEY STILL AREN’T THAT GOOD!
The VFX in those “Geostorm” ads look awful. Which means those are the best VFX shots if they’re in the trailers.
More like VX cause they give me optic nerve damage amirite?
BOOSH
Yep. Same old bullshit no-calls that only benefit teams that aren’t the Raiders.
Shit. I sound like a Ravens fan, don’t I?
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Conspiracy theory time! I predict the Raiders will win a Super Bowl (with some extremely generous officiating) within the first two or three years of being in Vegas. It will “send a message” about what happens to cities who play ball in terms of stadium giveaways.
“Dang, just one more yard…”
—Tennessee Oilers/Titans
See, I can too throw it hard!
I’m surprised the ref even bothered to look at the replay, with how quick he bailed it was clear he’d already made up his mind to rule for the Chiefs.
This is great for pace of play
Andy Reid wins a challenge that doesn’t involve eating a 72-ounce steak in 45 minutes?
I don’t want to live in this world anymore.
To be fair, Andy could finish that steak in less than 15 minutes, and ask for seconds.
Ol 96’er.
Gristle and all.
It’s times like this I wish the Raiders were the Patriots so I could count on a travesty of a ruling on the call.
I bought new shoes today. They’re exactly the same as my old shoes. Only newer. And a lot whiter.
Nawt Raycess.
Yes, I’m boring.
Do you have newly found balance?
I can’t tell right now. Get back to me in the morning.
LATE morning.
I bet bear dingleberries are the worst dingleberries.
“Tell me about it” – Aaron R., Green Bay, WI
Ask boo-boo.
FUCK YOU JIM NANCE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST FUCKING TIME THE CHIEFS HAVE HAD A LUCKY BOUNCE.
No wonder I’m an alcoholic.
You’re a Jets fan? No, a Browns fan. No, a Bangles fan. No, a Bills fan. No, a Bears fan….
Far worse. Los Angeles Raider/Dodger fan.
Lol wow….