2017 Quotables – Week 6 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

I hear TNF was quite the event last night. Outside of the Color Rush uniforms, I know everyone likes to rip on TNF but — and this isn’t to brag — I knew TNF was going to be better this season simply based on the fact that CBS/NFLN/AMAZONPRIMEVIDEO got away from their annual TITS/JAGS Color Rush feature. HOWEVA, that doesn’t mean TNF will necessarily be good programming on a weekly basis this season. And by ‘this season’ I mean the next three weeks.

How is MIN/CLE a TNF game on a Sunday in October?

Also, were KC’s uniforms even Color Rush? They look like their typical home reds. Seriously, they need to go like Rams Yellow for their future TNF games.

Alright, I think I’ve bought enough time for the gifs to load here. There’s lots more good stuff in the submissions post but below are your Week 6 Quotables results!


“Does this make Flacco the 4th or 6th best Chicago QB of all time?” -Game Time Decision

“The goal post would like to apologize for the role it played in that scoring drive.” -ArmedandHammered

“‘When I was a starting safety in the National Football League, they taught us not to lower our heads like that for risks of severe injury.’ –Trent Green” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“In hindsight, the Jacksonville Jaguars deeply regret allowing Harvey Weinstein to dress up as their mascot.” -Redshirt

“‘Someone tell those boys to divide into groups of five!’ –Jerry Richardson” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“There were some reservations about going ahead with this celebration, but the blanket amnesty from the league offices really shook the pox off any remaining fears.” -LemonJello

“(Matthew McConaughey lawyer voice) Now imagine a receiver, scoring a touchdown… Happy, because after all the injuries, after all the surgeries, All the rehab, all the pain… The doubts that seep into his head, The newspapers, all saying he can’t play any more… Imagine Victor Cruz finally scoring another touchdown. Now imagine he’s white.” -SonOfSpam

“Rashard Matthews was fined $50,000 for avoiding this hit, and injuring a Colts player.” -nomonkeyfun


Holiday Season Two-fer!

“Once upon a midday dreary, while the fans watched, loud and beer-y, UPFORWHATEVER and having forgotten NFL wrongs of days of yore— An ELITE QB threw, rousing me from my napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one loudly rapping, pushing my heart’s chambers door. I jetted down the field and I muttered, “tis my chance for a score— Against lowly Bears and nothing more.” Ah, distinctly I remember it was in this bleak October; And each defender appeared to surrender as I tore through the sodden floor. Eagerly I wished the laced skin of sow;—I knew that my glory would follow For all my talent—was that field fallow–I felt sorrow for Bears DBs of yore— For I, a Perriman, am nary a man when I have to declare OH! Make the catch? Nevermore.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

 

blaxabbath
blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

Leave a Reply

Notify of
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

comment image

“And they said we couldn’t win in Oakland!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Okay, I’ve finally caught up and watched the ending of last night’s game. I’m actually glad I didn’t watch it live. I’d have lost my mind. Raiders fans have been looking for something to name it; I’ve decided to refer to it as the “Groundhog Day” game.

SonOfSpam
Member

Given the paucity of such events, a good name might be “That Game We Actually Beat The Chiefs”

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I call it BLEERGHASM!

King Hippo
Member

I was REALLY DISAPPOINT by your absence. I thought you had gone into shock.

King Hippo
Member

Also, FOAR naming:

the “Heidi drops acid, then rails an 8-ball” game

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I may try and caption that poem once I get my computer back just to see if I can. I feel naked without it. It’s getting cold and yet I’m sweating. Somebody help.

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

can you make the text scroll a la Star Wars opening?
oh and do a star wipe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

“I got your ‘star wipe’ right here.”

– Najeh Davenport, ominously brandishing a piece of your dirty laundry

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

A star? Is Najeh related to Catler?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I could, but fuck no.

SonOfSpam
Member

Always enjoy a good Janay “joke” (the goalpost was more nimble)

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

assist on mine goes to BFC
comment image

/giving credit where credit is due.

wpDiscuz