2017 Quotables – Week 7 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

I complained reported Tuesday that my weekend slate of games featured 14 total points by losing teams. With WAS putting up 24 on MNF and MIA rocking a Color Rush Goose Egg, the last five NFL contests streamed into my home have provided 38 points scored by losing teams (approximately a touchdown per game). I need to seriously study for my PE exam because I’d like to just get it out of the way next spring but, when I get some time this offseason, we’re honing the models for Blax’s Bad Football Index.

Spoiler: 2017 is bad football (Darren Rovell quotes post with a Tweet about how great KC/OAK was before 35 entries about ballpark food prices).

Finally — and not to raise expectations too high — but I’d like to welcome Beerguyrob to the Quotables Hall of Fame. Much like PK, personal flaws matter not for these awards (and before you all get testy, consider the candidate pool we’ve got here) but one strong performance that just hits me right…well, it’s an Eli Super Bowl moment.

Yeah, now you probably don’t even want in there yourself. 

Don’t get all salty, other competitors, it’s not like he gets a bust or anything, just his gif. Like how Nick Foles is in for that seven touchdown game against OAK.

Anyways, solid work all around. Much like the MIA defense, everyone looks to be in mid-season form (barring any PED tests) and I’m fired up for the second half of the season. Submissions are here and results are below.  And even though Halloween posts are up next Tuesday, I believe Week 8 submissions will hold pat in the usual spot (unless I can get DTZM to pin us at the top of the front page that day).


“I haven’t seen a more confusing shot of a cowboy on a jet since W’s time in the Texas Air National Guard.” -LemonJello

“It’s good to see that even a few years after Tomsula’s departure the 49ers recognize that you never leave a bindle behind.” -Horatio Cornblower

“I haven’t seen a Raven that blameless for senseless violence since that elevator in February 2014” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“I CALL THIS GUY KASER “HOUSTON (500/620)” AS HE LIKES IT DEEP” -Game Time Decision

“THIS GUY CARSON WENTZ I CALL HIM NIGHTCRAWLER CAUSE HE CAN TELEPORT SHORT DISTANCES AND REPRESENTS A GROUP OF MUTANTS THAT IS LOATHED BY THE REST OF HUMANITY.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“– Ben Roethlisberger, when they finally get to the part of the workplace harassment video that explains what ‘consent’ means.” – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Damn, last Denver guy that went down that violently forgot to fuel up his Cessna.” -SonOfSpam

“You get this fucking salad OFF OF MY PLATE!” -Beerguyrob
blaxabbath
blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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Beerguyrob
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Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

I CALL THIS GUY, BEERGUYROB, “KARL MALONE” AS HE ALWAYS DELIVERS ( THE FUNNY)
/Applies to most of y’all

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I thought my submission about Covalent Blonde…HEY! Why are you all running away?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

There was some deep quality in this week’s submissions. 8/10 will read again.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

I do enjoy a nice chuckle about sports every now and again, and this certainly delivered! I definitely had a smile here at my desk, and even a few guffaws. They were all so cute! My goodness! I especially liked the one about the player who’s a retard.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It’s a distinct and unique joke, like the one about the clueless coach.

SonOfSpam
Member

“ANDREW RIED” makes me giggle. Congrats on HOF entry Beerguyrob; imagine the tail you’ll pull now!

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

I don’t like to brag, but I’m in the hall of (DFO) fame
-Beerguyrob to anyone that will listen.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Congratulations, Bob!

Sorry I didn’t do my part. I’ve been indisposed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

– Beerguyrob FTW!

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