Your “Nice To See You Again!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.

LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.

Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.

NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.

GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!

NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.

Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.

Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?

Toss some funnies out there, will ya?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan
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Dunstan

Look, Jon Gruden has to pass the offseason somehow.

King Hippo
Member

Joey Bosa, moe-ron

Redshirt
Member

(praying in Latin)

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Should’ve prayed in Aramaic.

Dunstan
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Dunstan

“Terrible decision” and “Blake Bortles” go together like gin and tonic

Redshirt
Member

(headdesk)

King Hippo
Member

Shitty Clippers still haven’t wrapped it up, dunno why he didn’t try to advance the ball instead of showboating.

Dunstan
Member
Dunstan

Geez, the Chargers and Jaguars are having an “anything you can DERP, I can DERP better” duet”

King Hippo
Member

it’s almost like ballet

King Hippo
Member

ok, can still win Shitty Clippers +4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You bet on the outcome of a Chargers game?

King Hippo
Member

Even week Jaguras = shit

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

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Redshirt
Member

At least we’ll get a high draft pick.

/ sobs violently

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Make sure they pick one with “character issues.”

blaxabbath
Member

Not sure how good of a qb Kirk Cousins really is.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

I wasn’t a San Diego Chargers fan, but if LAC ends up losing this game I will be fully erect.

litre_cola
Member

BOLTMAN LAUGHS!

Gratliff
Member

Holee shit, Shitty Clippers.

King Hippo
Member

how perfectly Shitty Clippers.

/still a push unless they give up another TD

Dunstan
Member
Dunstan

Can we just change their abbreviation from LAC to LOL?

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

The Legendary Blake Bortles Two Minute Drill.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Icing the onside kick: The new icing the kicker.

Redshirt
Member

You can’t cash out or carry over the timeouts.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

38-24 loss…that is sort of progress right?

/sobs violently….

litre_cola
Member

Really thought that this week was the one for you guys

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Most of their games have been like this…

Looks close in the first half. One or two obvious foot shotgun moments (like trying to do a fucking QB draw from the fucking 6 yard line with 22 seconds left and no fucking TIME OUTS WHQAYTWSDFHPDPHJWEFPJ!). Then eventually the defense starts to break down from being tired.

1-23 under Hue. I just…cannot…fathom collecting a check with a .042 winning record.

Redshirt
Member

I’ll be with you in the DFO Crying Room shortly.

Senor Weaselo
Member

At least there’s an almost-keep-it-interesting Andersondown?

Redshirt
Member

Bengals #26 is determined to lose this game.

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