Your “Nice To See You Again!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.

LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.

Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.

NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.

GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!

NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.

Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.

Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?

Toss some funnies out there, will ya?

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King Hippo

I can’t believe the Humps didn’t win that challenge.

King Hippo

Perfect Bearistocrats ending,

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pretty weak sauce there IMHO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also no flavor.

JustStopDude

Yes it is.

Burfict is a moron. This isn’t soccer. You don’t touch officials.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Official touched him is what I saw, he just moved away.
Total bullshit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Official was trying to separate players, without audio you don’t get the full picture.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. But I don’t see Burfict initiating anything, especially not anything ejection worthy.

Official needs to be asked about his rationale here, IMHO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll try to get him on the phone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Weird; it was his phone but Ted Ginn answered…… WTF?

blaxabbath

Fuck Burfict. He doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt when he puts his hands on the refs. Dude is dirty, cheap, and I hope the refs are looking for an excuse to toss him for every single game for the rest of this career.

Senor Weaselo

Well the Jets have determined they fucked up their tank attempt well enough with 4 whole wins. They can go back to sucking.

Dick E. Phuck

Official Jets Slogan: The day is mediocre and full of malaise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Adam Smith’s concept fucks over Ted.

blaxabbath

I like how Barry Sanders in the Rocket Mortgage commercial is playing dodgeball against a team wearing Packers colors.

Subtle.

Dick E. Phuck

You can always count on the Bears to get their shit pushed in by the Packers.

King Hippo

on money league bench – Davante Adams, Dingleberry Cousins

Redshirt

Adriel! Jeremiah! Green!!!!

Dick E. Phuck

Philip Rivers really jumped the shark with his child names, didn’t he?

King Hippo

WOO!!! Now if Titans score, the over wins (as long as no tie)

blaxabbath

Neat!

JustStopDude

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Dunstan

So, are the Saints actually good now?

rockingdog

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rockingdog

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Redshirt

Okay, let see if Andy Dalton can figure out Dick LeBeau’s brand new defense: the Man Coverage Defense.

blaxabbath

Starring defensive back Kevin Spacey.

rockingdog

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rockingdog

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Dick E. Phuck

Specializes in bump-and-run coverage.

rockingdog

shit why the hell did I start Bilal Powell RB Jets today? ShittttttttTTTTTt

King Hippo

everyone who coulda did

blaxabbath

DeMarco Murray starter over here….

King Hippo

I started DeMarco in DFO ball, but ’cause KHunt were on bye

Redshirt

Boy, just imagine how good the Bengals would be if they had a QB.

blaxabbath

Well, Red Rocket is the only person who knows Mike Brown killed that cheerleader.

litre_cola

In Australia Red Rocket means dog’s penis.

Dick E. Phuck

Or a functional o-line, or a good Head Coach, or an Owner that isn’t a cheap shit heel.

King Hippo

just fucking cover already, Humps. FORCE ONE PUNT.

King Hippo

or don’t, and predictably lose by 14

rockingdog

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blaxabbath

Wow – i went and worked on my jeep, took my dog hiking, took him to breakfast, and got home and we’re still on the AM thread?

Roger Goodell is truly worth $55milion a year (or whatever he is demanding).

Dick E. Phuck

That’s a big cap hit.

Redshirt

Okay, no flag? No flag. Yes, 4th down!

King Hippo

hey, looky-loo McKinnon is alive after all

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

my only feasible financial planning option LMAO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe if one didn’t gamble on sports……..

King Hippo

oh, the hole were already dug

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Keep digging!

rockingdog

hahaha
“BUCKLE UP the next 45min is GONNNNNA BE LITTT” -Scott Hanson just now on RedZone

Redshirt

Does BLEERGH have money on the Titans?

King Hippo

sure has money on the under

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

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Dunstan

Gregg Easterbrook’s Canadian counterpart just wrote “Game Ouver” in his notebook.

Gratliff

Redacteds are spoiling like hell this season. I appreciate them waiting until they were virtually eliminated and dropping two to the Iggles before getting good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You brat.

Dunstan

Yep, Jimmy, you should have been more specific when you said you wished you were riding a hot sausage.

rockingdog

hahaha cousins with the fumble at the goalline!!!! then viks pick it up and they get a TD?

rockingdog

my bad. im wrong.

Redshirt

Maybe the Bengals think full disclosure also includes sport games as well as court cases and shares the playcalls with the defense.

King Hippo

cray cray

litre_cola

Did you know Fitzpatrick played there?

King Hippo

all this derp specially designed to take my bets from 3-2 to 0-5

rockingdog

Look what I Found guys!
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...

Take me to Spicy Town.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s gonna cost you a hunert bucks; wear a rubber.

Gratliff

Love to kiss titlees

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I got kicked out of a store for that.

Redshirt

I have been all over Ohio and halfway into Indiana and Michigan and I have never heard of a Minotar.

Gratliff

Have you heard of the Mid-Up?

rockingdog

gonna roll to the corner store and get some candy. baby ruths oh yea!

King Hippo

Pylon stretching is a national menace, I swear to holy fuck.

Redshirt

That wasn’t a stretch. That was a good play by Cincy.

Never thought I type that today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It felt pretty good when she did it to me.

rockingdog

“I got pinned by a girl and that ended my wrestling career.”

King Hippo

Way to kill my over bet, asshole

Redshirt

…huh? Touchdown?

Redshirt

That’s not a touchdown!

litre_cola

Everyone ready for some hot Eskimos v Blue Bombers action next?

//crickets
/why play it on a Sunday

Dunstan

Nothing that happens in Winnipeg can be described as “hot.” In either sense.

litre_cola

Born and raised. I am aware of how that place is. Left when I was 20.

litre_cola

Jacob Brisket down in Indy?

Dick E. Phuck

Little does everyone know that this is the full name of the biblical Jacob.

Dunstan

Is that the one where Jesus says “I have cured thee, Jacob Brisket. Rise, and be known henceforth as Jacob Pastrami”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is pastrami even kosher?

Dick E. Phuck

Yes, if butchered in accordance with the laws of Kashrut.

Dick E. Phuck

This Jacob built a ladder in his dreams to speak to Andy Reid in heaven.

litre_cola

Di he play basketball? A lot of people forget who did.

rockingdog

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rockingdog

whoooo new QB Cody Kessler gonna get the win for the Browns?

Dick E. Phuck

” A Cleveland QB is playing well? Let’s fix that, shall we.”
-God

rockingdog

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rockingdog

Bucks vs Jets No touchdowns so far! whoooo!
Catch the Fever!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I follow the gourd, myself, rather than the shoe.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You too? Solidarity, brother!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rex?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Better than his sweaty ballsack.

litre_cola

I have no idea what this means.

rockingdog

Ive gotta say Fantasy football has been weird this season so far…. well for me atleast

litre_cola

So very strange.

rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey!!! Stop hurting my JuJu. Stupid Colts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was some of what WWII was about.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

You know it’s highbrow because it’s brought to you by Cum Laude Films, Inc.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This “lit-up Raiders sweater wearing guy at Chiefs’ fans in-laws Christmas dinner” advert really pisses me off for some reason.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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