And you were thinking that yesterday’s college lineup was wanting? All I know is that when you need the big boys in the NFL to step up and do the right thing they’ll crawl into a corner and do the wrong thing. I guess this is the football equivalent of the ‘dog days of summer’, only in this circumstance the teams that are one win above or below .500 try to make something of their season. Most never do, of course but watching the process unfold can be a touch exasperating. Ah well, I’m a channel-flipping madman at heart, so off we go. TO THE GAMES!

TB/Mia: Qb Winston has been accused of groping an Uber driver last year. I’d be worried if I was the lady in question-I know for a fact that at one time he had crabs. This was the game that was canceled at the start of the year. No one gave any thought to cancelling it again so here we are.

Ari/Hou: Poor Sean Ryan. “Who the hell is Sean Ryan?”, you say in your squeakiest voice. Well calm down and I’ll tell you. He’s the sorry bastard/Texans qb coach that has been tasked with turning Doc Savage Garden into a competent footballer. It’s not going well. Savage is completing passes at a murky 47% clip and his adjusted yards per pass play is just more than half of Watson’s number. He did find a way to pad the stat sheet last week by turning the ball over 4 times.

KC/NYG: Will Eli fumble the ball yet again? Yes. Will the Giants D give up more than 30 for the third straight week? Yes. Are you taking the over? Yes, yes you are.

Jax/Cle: Them Jags look to be on solid ground as far as getting their seventh win of the season although they may be without their Little Red Fournette. He’ll give his bum ankle a whirl before the game but methinks it would be all kinds of stupid to play him if he’s not 100%. After all, Jacksonville can always lean on qb Bortles and his earthy 51.3 QBR.

Det/Chi: The Lions are tied at 5-4 in the NFC North with the Packers and the Bears are just trying to develop their Truth Biscuit without getting him murderized. That sexy Jordan Howard fantasy pick you made at the start of the season has rewarded you with zilcho TD’s the last five weeks. What were you thinking?

LAR/Min: At the outset of  September not many eyeballs were thinking they’d be glued to this interaction. But here we are-two 7-2 squadoos that dearly want to believe in themselves. You’d think the Ramsters would have piled up the home wins to get where they are but the buggers are undefeated on the road. What a time to be alive.

Bal/GB: Qb Hundley is applying for a new position-that of sixteenthback. He’s more awful than week-old falafel. The Packers haven’t been able to generate more than 17 points under his “leadership”. The Ravens are coming off a bye and should stuff their opponent’s faces right into the frozen tundra.

Was/NO: The workpony of the Dacteds O is wee Chris Thompson. He should do his fair share of whinnying, scampering and snorting while the Saints roll to the W.

Thoughts? Prayers? Directives? Get going!