Your “Uh-Oh, Company’s Coming” Saturday Evening Open Thread and NFL Broadcast Maps

laserguru

laserguru

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn’t plate.
laserguru

Banner image courtesy of:

Howdy folks!

I feel it is my responsibility to remind everyone, well us U.S. residing folks anyway, that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Like, next fucking Thursday. As in 5 goddamn days Thursday.

And you haven’t even been to the grocery store yet have you?

HAVE YOU!?!

What are you thinking? That can of corn isn’t going to heat itself!

Man, if only somebody somewhere would have detailed instructions for what to do if you’ve waited too long to start your Thanksgiving meal preparation. Damn! Maybe someday. What a missed opportunity.

Back when I was a younger fella I used to be one of those lunatics who made the entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Breads, pies, turkey all of the goddamn sides and I am here to tell you that that shit is LUNACY! Fuck that, man. You’ve got to do the group dinner prep. For the last several years eldest right and her husband have brought a smoked turkey and all of the dessert items along with some home brew that my son-in-law makes himself. That way all I have to do is make the breads and the sides. I can do that shit. Doing the whole meal is a young man’s game

This year I am bypassing the standard mashed potatoes – roasted garlic mashed potatoes at that – and am instead making my traditional Grandmommie’s dressing along with this beauty 

gratin potatoes with onion, and gruyere cheese from this past season of Sunday Gravy.

I will also be baking a loaf of fresh homemade bread,

another recipe from this past season.

Oh yeah.

Wait, why are you grabbing your coat and your car keys?

You’re not going to the store now are you?

Stop that shit! Go on Monday or Tuesday, we’ve got shit to do.

Tonight we are taking it easy. We’ve got games to watch, liquor to imbibe, perhaps sample a few smokeables and/or edibles if you so desire and we’ve got dick jokes to make!

If you want some hot early season NBA action, here’s the schedule.

If the NHL is your thing, well here you go.

Our own King Hippo gave you the college football rundown earlier in the day and I’m sure there’s a smattering of college hoops if that’s more to your liking.

Now on to the good stuff. Your broadcast maps, all courtesy of 506sports.com

CBS EARLY


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Kansas City @ NY Giants Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Baltimore @ Green Bay Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
Jacksonville @ Cleveland Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX

Holy shit, that is an unappetizing line-up of games. Is there really that big of a demand for Jacksonville/Cleveland in Nashville? Poor bastards.

Let’s see what Fox Early has.

FOX SINGLE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Washington @ New Orleans Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
LA Rams @ Minnesota Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, Greg Olsen
Arizona @ Houston Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber
Detroit @ Chicago Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
Tampa Bay @ Miami Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth
Buffalo @ LA Chargers (LATE) Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston
BOTH LAR-MIN and BUF-LAC

Ah, no late games for Fox so they just jammed ’em all into the early window. Who you got on this graph? Maybe watch the Saints possibly drive the final stake into the hearts of the Washington Football Club? Tampa bay at Miami? The make-up hurricane bowl? Nah, fuck that. You’re watching my Vikes host the LAR aren’t you?

Good for you.

Finally here’s the CBS late window.

CBS LATE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

New England vs Oakland (in Mexico City) Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
Cincinnati @ Denver Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

Here’s a fun fact. I just now discovered that Mexico City is in the equivalent of our Central Time Zone so the P*ts and Raider game is a 3:00 local start. Nice. Or I suppose you can watch the “What the Fuck Happened to You Two?” Bowl with the Bungles and the Donks.

I can smell the sadness from here.

First? Let’s grab a cocktail and get this motherfucking party started!

Check it out! There’s a jukebox in this joint.

Talk to me, people!

laserguru
laserguru
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn't plate.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Hey-o!

Prime Video: You can now live stream NFL Thursday Night Football games in addition to movies and TV series at no extra cost.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Amazon: We made the shitty football free with prime!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK, time to go feel sorry for myself for a few hours.
And then decide who to bet tomorrow. Allegedly.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

All the gambling tomorrow! (Today)

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Oh Utes.
Tires spinning in the Alabama mud now.

This is sad.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

BOW DOWN!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I still would have won money…. if I’d bet.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

You should have done that

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Agreed.
Oh well.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

If I’m not mistaken, there’s a whole bunch of footy games that can be wagered on that will be contested tomorrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Get outta my head.
I’m totally not looking at moneylines right now.

YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

(plus it’s all Hippo’s fault)

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Wait….shut up, beer. You always get me in trouble.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I’m your friend. We have good times.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Well, OK then.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

And the Huskie kick is Dead on balls accurate.

Senor Weaselo
Member

HE PUT IT ON THE GROUND!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I know how you feel.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Oh Utah, this is why you can’t have nice things.

I still woulda won at +18 tho….dammit.

Senor Weaselo
Member

I haven’t seen fortunes turn so quickly on a group of Utes since Bill said “I shot the clerk?”

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Very nicely done.
So many references to interweave and I’m kinda ashamed I got it.

Senor Weaselo
Member

You didn’t get the first one!

Senor Weaselo
Member

Oh wait, yes you did. You chose to talk about escaping the clutches of GAMBLOR instead.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Where, when? What’d I miss?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

WCS
Member

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Which would you rather get rid of: Thursday night football or the London games?

WCS
Member

TNF

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

TNF

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

TNF. 9:30 Kickoffs aren’t the worst.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

London

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Cause beer has been right with all my other decisions in life…

Senor Weaselo
Member

The Utes successful on defense? Did they find the ’63 Pontiac Tempest?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

They are the benefactors of me being stupid and not betting this game.
YOU’RE WELCOME!!!!!!

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

SonOfSpam
Member

I saw them in maybe 1988? 1987? Kick tour. Anything without Hangy McJackoff doesn’t count.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Agreed. When you win your job on a reality show…
Well, yeah.

SonOfSpam
Member

No, for what he is, he’s fine…but you get it. Also, GO GET IT.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Yep, I got no problems with him per se.
It’s just….well….yeah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Marc Trestman: The Home Game

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I never knew Ace Frehley left KISS and went into wrasslin’.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Vegas, I’m getting excited. See you soon.
xoxo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam
Member

Really wish I could join you. Prolly need to divorce and leave family to do so. Not sure it would be worth it, but it might but who knows.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Well, I feel like I should not say anything.
But if you get there, you can crash with me. No one else seems to want to.

SonOfSpam
Member

Thank you for the invite. I am gassy, and tend to sleep-rape. So see you there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hide the butter.

SonOfSpam
Member

I bring my own. Land o’ Rapes.

SonOfSpam
Member

Happy with Bruins’ effort, sad with result, happy with winning $20 from Mom who is inexplicably a USC fan. Also, pretty drunk. Also, waiting for kid to come home from a date. Also, pretty drunk.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Is the kid drunk too?

SonOfSpam
Member

Not yet. Prolly a few years away. Hates the smell of beer, has tasted wine, didn’t like it.

Still in high school, but hasn’t followed Dad’s lead yet. YET.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Faek Punt for Secular Big Love!!!
And it worked. Other than the penalty, that is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

Andrew Luck channeling his inner Sex Cannon.

Romonobyl
Member

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
Member

This is an inside joke:

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Romonobyl
Member

Um…I want in.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Finding a SFW image was difficult.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

But well worth the effort I’m sure.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

The things I do for y’all…

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I get it!!!!

Sadly, that does NOT mean two things.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’ve never wanted to punch someone so much in my life.
Well that’s not true, really. But I do want to punch him.

But no hitties backies!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good; it was the correct application.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Frighteningly similar to my “dealing with asshole Canada Geese” method.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Fetching oneself had a different meaning I thought.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Someone asked for an Apollo Rocket gif:
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oh wait . . .

Romonobyl
Member

Ding-ding…

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

In the next scene they go horseback riding together.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

They really should have put Sly up on a cinderblock for this shot.
Dude is short.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

“Seems OK to me.”

– Tom Cruise

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
Member

What about Apollo getting rocketed?
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Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

If he dies…he dies

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Remember Brigitte Neilsen?
Yeah, neither does she.

Spur
Member
Spur

Snoop Dog is old. Black has cracked.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

No Target, I will not be buying the Garth Brooks Anthology. I’d rather slam my head in a hot oven door.

Romonobyl
Member

I’m really considering that VHS tape of all the Progressive Insurance commercials. The perfect gift!

Spur
Member
Spur

But Target has cuter employees.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Really wishing I had actually bet the Utah/Wash game at +18.
Oh well. Utes would be down by 30 by now if I had.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sorry…by 30. Edited.
Who the hell turned off my numlock?????

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sadly, I’m all out.
No weed ’til Vegas foar me.

Romonobyl
Member

Spur
Member
Spur

Edibles are great!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’m confident some will be ett.

I’ll also be testing the “you can’t smoke weed in your hotel room” theory as well. Allegedly.

Romonobyl
Member

Bathroom vent fans ain’t just for steam!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Right??????

I’ve used many of those across this here land of ours, where it’s totes illegal. Like Imma not do it in Vegas?

Senor Weaselo
Member

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Romonobyl
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

So you’re saying size DOES matter?

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

Romonobyl
Member

As Brick would say – stupid, sexy big-tittied B-36 main wheel.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Announcer on running into the kicker penalty: “If he got a piece of it, then the contact is negligible.”

That word, “negligible”…? Yeah it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Negated. Negated is the word we were looking for.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

This party ain’t bad. Thanks, beer!

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

My pleasure

Romonobyl
Member

There you are!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Shit, now Ayo is gonna confuse me.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

You get your mom hammered yet?
/asking foar a friend

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I hammered her

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

That’s next week. And not my mom, her mom. But also yes.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Stupid sexy Northrop Wing.

Romonobyl
Member

Version 1 was sexayer.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Stupid sexier Northrop wing….with your wheels, and your props and….well, I guess that’s it.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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