Howdy folks!
I feel it is my responsibility to remind everyone, well us U.S. residing folks anyway, that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Like, next fucking Thursday. As in 5 goddamn days Thursday.
And you haven’t even been to the grocery store yet have you?
HAVE YOU!?!
What are you thinking? That can of corn isn’t going to heat itself!
Man, if only somebody somewhere would have detailed instructions for what to do if you’ve waited too long to start your Thanksgiving meal preparation. Damn! Maybe someday. What a missed opportunity.
Back when I was a younger fella I used to be one of those lunatics who made the entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Breads, pies, turkey all of the goddamn sides and I am here to tell you that that shit is LUNACY! Fuck that, man. You’ve got to do the group dinner prep. For the last several years eldest right and her husband have brought a smoked turkey and all of the dessert items along with some home brew that my son-in-law makes himself. That way all I have to do is make the breads and the sides. I can do that shit. Doing the whole meal is a young man’s game
This year I am bypassing the standard mashed potatoes – roasted garlic mashed potatoes at that – and am instead making my traditional Grandmommie’s dressing along with this beauty
gratin potatoes with onion, and gruyere cheese from this past season of Sunday Gravy.
I will also be baking a loaf of fresh homemade bread,
another recipe from this past season.
Oh yeah.
Wait, why are you grabbing your coat and your car keys?
You’re not going to the store now are you?
Stop that shit! Go on Monday or Tuesday, we’ve got shit to do.
Tonight we are taking it easy. We’ve got games to watch, liquor to imbibe, perhaps sample a few smokeables and/or edibles if you so desire and we’ve got dick jokes to make!
If you want some hot early season NBA action, here’s the schedule.
If the NHL is your thing, well here you go.
Our own King Hippo gave you the college football rundown earlier in the day and I’m sure there’s a smattering of college hoops if that’s more to your liking.
Now on to the good stuff. Your broadcast maps, all courtesy of 506sports.com
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Kansas City @ NY Giants | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Baltimore @ Green Bay | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | Jacksonville @ Cleveland | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
Holy shit, that is an unappetizing line-up of games. Is there really that big of a demand for Jacksonville/Cleveland in Nashville? Poor bastards.
Let’s see what Fox Early has.
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Washington @ New Orleans | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | LA Rams @ Minnesota | Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, Greg Olsen |
| █ | Arizona @ Houston | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber |
| █ | Detroit @ Chicago | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | Tampa Bay @ Miami | Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth |
| █ | Buffalo @ LA Chargers (LATE) | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
| █ | BOTH LAR-MIN and BUF-LAC | |
Ah, no late games for Fox so they just jammed ’em all into the early window. Who you got on this graph? Maybe watch the Saints possibly drive the final stake into the hearts of the Washington Football Club? Tampa bay at Miami? The make-up hurricane bowl? Nah, fuck that. You’re watching my Vikes host the LAR aren’t you?
Good for you.
Finally here’s the CBS late window.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | New England vs Oakland (in Mexico City) | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
| █ | Cincinnati @ Denver | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
Here’s a fun fact. I just now discovered that Mexico City is in the equivalent of our Central Time Zone so the P*ts and Raider game is a 3:00 local start. Nice. Or I suppose you can watch the “What the Fuck Happened to You Two?” Bowl with the Bungles and the Donks.
I can smell the sadness from here.
First? Let’s grab a cocktail and get this motherfucking party started!
Check it out! There’s a jukebox in this joint.
Talk to me, people!
If I was the Oklahoma QB, this would have been my apology:
“I got caught up in the heat of the moment. I should have realized that the cameras are on me all game. Next time, I’ll cover my mouth so no one can read my lips and tell them what they can do instead of making a gesture. There will be no questions. “
“This guy gets it!”
– Al Franken
“No he doesn’t.”
-Roy Moore
If you were the Oklahoma QB, you likely wouldn’t be able to string together that many coherent sentences.
“Right by you. Cent senses hard to make.”
— Troy Aikman
Emmitt approved.
Harmon needs to point at teh sky moar I guess.
That was absotively turrible.
More fun than a ballgame
I thought Wake Forest was a basketball school.
So did they.
really, men’s golf
Tru dat.
Arnie!
Why is there a statue of him outside a fish warehouse?
Because of his well-known love and success at professional fishing. Duh.
Well unshit.
Well shit.
Yes WF kicker, point to the sky…because I’m certain God is watching you and he’s why you barely made that gimme.
Fucktard.
If god liked him he wouldn’t be a fucking kicker.
chuh chuh
He was pointing at some chemtrails.
Never mind. Found it.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2016/04/17/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-this-isnt-leftovers-its-the-main-event/
Sam Darnold: Future Browns savior/stooge
This needs to be in our regular gif rotation.
JESUS FUCK Harmon
The Mom Robot doesn’t seem fazed.
QUICK DUCK AND COVER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIoBrob3bjI
Oh man. Anyone realize that Wisconsin is 11-0?
those cheese-huffing fucksticks are gonna make me cheer FOR tOSU.
Definitely not the Selection Committee
In DUI’s per capita? Not surprised.
UTSA needs to change its mascot name. No one wants to be a Roadrunner.
Better than the Coyote.
I say ask for a letter from the tribe and rename to the Lipan Raiders. It’s PC and kick ass.
As a Roadrunner myself, I prefer it to UCSB Banana Slugs or Rhode Island School of Design Nads, with their mascot Scrotie.
OLLU for Life!
You heathen!
Hey, I got a nearly free ride from UT (went to Austin for a couple semesters before transferring to UTSA) due to no veteran’s education benefits. Could never have afforded one of those private SA church schools.
Tangential: Gal I used to work with in the environmental restoration field 20 years ago, daughter of former mayor Phil Hardberger, is now the dean of the law school at OLLU. Or maybe it’s St. Mary’s.
USC UCLA Turning into a derpfest.
Turning?
apparently it was a “crotch grab” by Baker Mayfield. One doesn’t expect that from a white scholar-athlete ,, smgdh.
– Clemson
he’s looking for his keys, that’s all.
“Check oil” light must have been on.
I would like a UCLA and Stanford cover please.
What’s the spread?
Both started around 16.5 and moved to like 14
I got both at 16.5
My Cal bet went in at 16
the opposing QB (for Ole Miss v. TAMU) is named “TA’AMU” which is kinda funny
TAMU starting to hear the Men Without Hats refrain in they heads…
Why can’t USC and UCLA hire good coaches? You don’t have to recruit. The players come to you.
The truth is that there are really no good coaches available. And they’re not spending millions on coaches. UCLA can’t and USC doesn’t want to.
Horatio, it seems that UConn is a wet bag of shit. They refuse to kick the FG and hget back within 21 to cover.
Ahhh the meaningless field goal to cover the spread.
Almost a bad safety dance there.
Wow, we suck.
They’re no friends of mine.
Track Suits do just enough to get past Morgan State, 111-48.
Fuck that Dr. Smith guy. I bet he molested Will Robinson like an altar boy.
While the rest of the family had to deal with the Menace from Uranus, since they let Judy cook the space chili.
They should do reviews like they do in rugby where you can hear the conversation between the replay official and the referee on the field.
Sucks about Malcolm Young. He was the unsung hero of AC/DC, he laid the foundation his brother built upon. I think the band might be done now.
Isn’t Phil Rudd in jail?
They already were really. Brian literally couldn’t sing anymore, Phil Rudd tried killing his wife, and Malcolm stopped in 2014.
Did I see somewhere that the remnants were touring with Axl Rose doing vocals? Maybe I dreamt it.
Yeah, they had him fill in for the rest of the dates they had booked.
Yeah that was a short run. Basically axl n angus.
Shoulda been done because of the way they shit on Brian Johnson.
I bet The General auto insurance would cover that.
Now THAT is a catch.
I’m oddly aroused. Ah childhood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2djHEIxPVs
Sam Darnold is going to be the perfect Browns draft bust.
It’s going to be Lamar Smith the year after.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo
Oh jaySam, one man to beat.
Giggity.
Evening all.
Spent the day with my son using up his 21st B-day present. I gave him a certificate for a tandem parachute jump, something he always wanted to do. He loved it, got to see Mustang Island from 2 miles up. He wants to go again of course, I might join him when my knee is healthy and I drop about 20 pounds.
I know, a perfectly good airplane…
So where did he land? Port A? Ship channel?
Fortunately not that windy, they actually made it back to the airport on Mustang Beach.
The 76ers just lost the lead. Shitty job guys.
Nice fake punt!
Figures there’d be a hippo involved somehow.
u noe the best thing about the NBA?
Hippo passes it over to Sparano’s football…
Was it me, or did ABC leave a certain orange drink nicknamed player off of the list of the USC heisman winners?
Yeah, it’s ashame how quickly everyone has forgotten about good old Bob Sunnydelight.
I hear tell he barely tipped a Jewish waiter once and also sends mean texts to his ex-wife. Can you imagine being such a dick?
To be fair, Jewish waiters start out taking nearly 20% off the top.
Don’t leave out Faygo Jackson!
He’s on thin ice because of “gang affiliations.”
Lots of good stuff on tonight folks!!!!
Stanford #63 Herbig…
Should stand to the left of someone named “Johnson”.
WVU’s own Johnny Dingle, and Scott “Scooter” Berry.
Boo , those aren’t the normal sweaters they wear.
These Song Girl sweaters I call them Twinkies because it’s all about the cream inside.
Wow, Cal/Stanford looks like a great game, eh?
Embiid just gave himself some CTE.
Joel Embiid just ate shit trying to block a shot…
KD screams like a bitch.
Man, Rod Stewart just doesn’t seem to change.
Well, time for a beer or six.
If we lose in W-S yet again, Imma be drunk for it this time.
and then you PUNT? On 4th and 7 with 41 seconds to play, opponent against the win, on their 40 yard line??????
Yup.
TIWWA (this is who we are)
Sitting around post-pre-Thanksgiving dinner table with the in-laws. I’m one Vienna Lager away from bringing up Al Frankenstien. INTO THE BREACH!!!!
FUCKING FUCK, how do you miss a guy that goddamned open?
UCLA picking up 4th and 10 at the end of the first. Ballsy move
but maybe on a slant, not a 3-yard fucking HITCH
Heheheh at green NCSU FG line to make.
That one never gets old.
Fucking shit, that was stupid. USE THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD, dickasses
I guess we really want to take those timeouts into halftime with us.