2017 Quotables – Week 11 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Hello. Long time no see. As we enter the home stretch of the 2017 season, highlights are getting harder to come by. In part because The Shield, no doubt in response to Jerruh’s attacks on The Rog, us cracking down on highlights. A more obvious reason, however, is that the on-field product is quite lacking. And not “quite lacking” is a good way, like swiss cheese offensive lines letting rushers through to destroy four strings of Browns quarterbacks. No, like that same line blocking for a stud RB which results in every rushing play turning into three yards and a cloud of dust. I’m sorry, I thought this was a passing league.


Nonetheless, we’ve got a great* selection of gifs for you this week. Lots of football action which, personally, I think is nice as 2017 seems to have been more about TD celebrations than completing concussion protocols. But, as we know, this can all turn on a dime. So enjoy it while you can folks because, Brock Osweiler in all eight submissions or not, humour is in the eye of beholder.

And, with that said, gifs should be loaded by now so onward we go to your Week 11 Quotables.

*Greatness is what you make of it


Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick fumbles a 104-yard interception return against the Denver Broncos.

New York Giants safety Landon Collins tackles Kansas City Chiefs running back Charcandrick West.

Cleveland Browns punt returner Jabrill Peppers muffs a return against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Buffalo Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman throws an interception against the LA Chargers.

Atlanta Falcons coach Dan Quinn reacts to a missed Blair Walsh kick on Monday Night Football game against the Seattle Seahawks.

Chicago Bears quarterback Mitch Trubisky makes his inaugural Quotables appearance with this Russell Wilson-like 4th quarter scramble against the Detroit Lions to keep his team alive.

New Orleans Saints players celebrate a stop against the Washington Redskins.

Presented without comment.
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Ah …

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King Hippo
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Guess he shoulda used his AK after all ,, smgdh

King Hippo
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Also, for the historical record, I just want to reiterate…this play was made by the goddamned winning 3-6 team, on the road.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Dan Quinn photo:

“Oh damn, shit is about to go DOWN!”

– Junior Gallette

Redshirt
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHxactly how we drew it up!

Redshirt
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“I can already imagine a defense doing this on a 3rd down stop while the offense sees the group photo celebration and frantically runs to snap the ball on 4th down with LITERALLY NO ONE in front of them to stop them.”

Redshirt
Member

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(Four Leaf voice) “You went Full Bengal, man. Never go Full Bengal.”

or

“Here’s our septenquinquaginannual reminder that the Bengals are allergic to success.”

or

“Does anyone know where I put my Mexican jumping beans? I put them next to a box of footballs and…oh nevermind. Found ’em!”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick fumbles a 104-yard interception return against the Denver Broncos.

YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER

New York Giants safety Landon Collins tackles Kansas City Chiefs running back Charcandrick West.

He’s dead, Jim.

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¡No más!

monty this seems strange to me
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That’s cute, this was back when Peterman only had two interceptions.

monty this seems strange to me
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Normally giving it up this much in L.A. helps you KEEP your job.

nomonkeyfun
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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bear’s second best QB of all time.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
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“Great, the game’s over. Now time to go comment on [DFO]!”

nomonkeyfun
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“That’s why you betta float that ball in there!!! Cock knob.”

– II Phillipian Rivers

nomonkeyfun
Member

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I haven’t seen Peppers make someone cry like that since Senor Weaselo tricked me into eating a Carolina Reaper.

Enrico Pallazzo
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I haven’t seen a muff in Cleveland like that since Bernie Kosar’s daughter!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT is fucking excellent!

monty this seems strange to me
Member

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Moar liek Charcandrick EAST, amirite?

nomonkeyfun
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I hope yeah right knows how to treat priapism.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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Once there was this guy who
Got jacked up so hard he couldn’t help but drool
And when he finally came to
His brain had turned from gray matter to dripping pinkish goo
He said that it was from when
The Ghost of Trent Green showed up

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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That muff was so explicit he needs a Jag Rag!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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Blair Walsh’s clutch kicks necessitate chastity belts for opposing coaches

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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YOU DON GOT BARTH’D SON!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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I’m not going to believe this is real until I see it happen five times

Game Time Decision
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Game Time Decision

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THESE GUYS, I CALL THEM DIRTY MARTINI, THEY ARE BOTH SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED

nomonkeyfun
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“Now that’s a much more subtle way to advertise.”

-Roy Moore

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

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Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

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wanna fly like an eagle
To the sea
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me
I want to fly like an eagle
‘Till I’m free

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Almost there. Just a few more yards. That gypsy woman was wrong! Nothing can stop…shitfuckgoddam.”

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

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Alfred, take my belt, we’re done here
-Batman

Game Time Decision
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Game Time Decision

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Upon further review, this was not a catch. Denver ball.
-Ref

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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Quinn: “Oh. OH MY! What’s this feeling in my pants? I haven’t felt like this since junior prom.”
Tech1: “Damn, coach, we’re just getting the belt pack off you. Gross.”
Tech2: “You don’t want to know what I’m dealing with back here!”

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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This scene to be re-enacted in the Cheetah’s VIP room later that night.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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With that many Saints in one place, the Cub Scout Jamboree must be in town.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Matt Moore needs to do some squats. Just sayin’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s Asian.

ArmedandHammered
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ArmedandHammered

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Creating sadness seems to be a state wide industry.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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Cris: “What a shame to see that CTE is already having an effect, he thinks he’s watching a basedball game.”
Al: “Maybe he’s just a smug asshole?”

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Dammit LJ, we seem to be choosing the same ones at the same time.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

The page wasn’t refreshing for me. I thought I was all alone with my postings.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Yeah, it took me a bit to realize the pages no longer auto refresh. Not sure why that changed.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Russians.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Man, I always knew they were complete Dicks. First getting Trump elected and now this…. Reagan tried to warn us.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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Ah, the Factory still at maximum output for the upcoming holiday rush it seems. #thePauls

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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Peterman must of thought it was Oprah Winfrey day – “You get an interception and you get an interception and you get an interception! Everyone gets an interception!”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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In his own Valhalla, built on the bodies of unbelievers and filled with the lamentations of the broken, BOLTMAN shakes his head and ponders his next move in this eternal battle against the hated Spanoi.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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I’ve seen auto test dummies with less head movement during impact

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Hi-yo Tittays, away!”
/Yakety Sax plays in the background

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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This play, more than usual, made Coach Reid hope for ribs at the post game buffet.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Alternate:
“Football sure seems like a rough sport, I’m glad I never played.”
-Trent Green