It’s a frosty, uncaring world out there. What’s the point of even holding the door open for anyone anymore? And yet we do it because in our heart of hearts we know that we have to be optimistic, we must believe that there is good out there in the world. We football fans slog our way through the week so that we can be rewarded for our patience with the world at large on Thursday [LOUD RECORD SCRATCH] “Denver at Indianapolis? Denver at Indianpolis!!?? ” You’re trying your hardest to break me, NFL, but I’m not giving in out of sheer unadulterated spite. ‘Spite’ can be be a positive emotional response, right? Right? Hmmm. Ok. TO THE GAME!

Broncos/Colts: Both of these last-place, division basement-dwellers are so pathetic even the ghost of Kenneth Pinyan wouldn’t be able to support them.

Pssst! The Cavaliers are playing somebody tonight.

First off, Carrot Top is giving all the props to human-titanium hybrid Frank Gore. The guy John Riggins-ed his way to 36(!) carries last week to the tune of more yards than I can count.

Hey! You! Yeah, you. The Caps and Bruins looks like a great game.

How can you lose eight straight games when you have the league’s overall best D and the second-best pass defense? Seems impossible, don’t it? Well, Denver found a way to do it.

Do you like JV basketball? #21 Baylor is gonna whup Texas Southern tonight.

So, uh, perhaps you’ve got T.Y. on your fantasy roster or that kicker that’s never gonna retire-whatever your reasons…enjoy.

The Women’s Network is featuring A Song For Christmas at 8pm. A pop singer is gonna get stranded in a small town, be all high and mighty, get her comeuppance, fall for simple-livin’ farmer and give up fame and fortune or something. (I bet)

Do what ya gotta do, kinfolk.