Your “This’ll Test Your Fookin’ Mettle” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

It’s a frosty, uncaring world out there. What’s the point of even holding the door open for anyone anymore? And yet we do it because in our heart of hearts we know that we have to be optimistic, we must believe that there is good out there in the world. We football fans slog our way through the week so that we can be rewarded for our patience with the world at large on Thursday [LOUD RECORD SCRATCH] “Denver at Indianapolis? Denver at Indianpolis!!?? ” You’re trying your hardest to break me, NFL, but I’m not giving in out of sheer unadulterated spite. ‘Spite’ can be be a positive emotional response, right? Right? Hmmm. Ok. TO THE GAME!

Broncos/Colts: Both of these last-place, division basement-dwellers are so pathetic even the ghost of Kenneth Pinyan wouldn’t be able to support them.

Pssst! The Cavaliers are playing somebody tonight.

First off, Carrot Top is giving all the props to human-titanium hybrid Frank Gore. The guy John Riggins-ed his way to 36(!) carries last week to the tune of more yards than I can count.

Hey! You! Yeah, you. The Caps and Bruins looks like a great game.

How can you lose eight straight games when you have the league’s overall best D and the second-best pass defense? Seems impossible, don’t it? Well, Denver found a way to do it.

Do you like JV basketball? #21 Baylor is gonna whup Texas Southern tonight.

So, uh, perhaps you’ve got T.Y. on your fantasy roster or that kicker that’s never gonna retire-whatever your reasons…enjoy.

The Women’s Network is featuring A Song For Christmas at 8pm. A pop singer is gonna get stranded in a small town, be all high and mighty, get her comeuppance, fall for simple-livin’ farmer and give up fame and fortune or something. (I bet)

Do what ya gotta do, kinfolk.

 

 

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Unsurprised

You may want to play this at 1/4 speed. https://gfycat.com/GlisteningFeistyFieldspaniel?speed=0.25

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Unsurprised

TE Brandon Williams is out of the hospital and ‘doing well’ after suffering a concussion during #DENvsIND

They actually diagnosed a concussion? Well, there’s a first time for everything.

Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see I missed a real barnburner tonight.

Hope Luck’s family is ok.

Unsurprised

Did a barn burn down?

Unsurprised

Found that photo without the logo.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Okie doke…back to it I guess.
(I’m way too good at procrastination this week)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

Senor Weaselo

Putting the pro in it, eh?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nobody is paying me yet so….

Oh, you meant…

Jerk.

😛

Unsurprised

Oh, goodness. I don’t need to go down the Marilyn Monroe rabbit hole at this hour.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTMV0BTBto2/?taken-by=adrianalima

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Unsurprised

Hahaha. Especially since that’s Jayne Mansfield in ‘The Girl Can’t Help It’ in that video Adriana Lima posted to her IG.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqz6Y9aHGIQ

Unsurprised

Nice dress.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Oof. Those Brazilian rabbit holes are easy to fall down into if you aren’t careful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because they’re so smooth?

Unsurprised

Indeed. Freshly waxed.

laserguru

Words of wisdom from a deranged old man:

Don’t start giving expensive gifts too early.

It raises expectations.

Says the guy who’s taking his youngest daughter and youngest granddaughter out for filet mignon for Christmas.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good rule. Great rule, in fact.
But daughters and granddaughters are exempt from such rules. You spoil ’em whenever you have the chance.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck it. I’ll put this here.

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Unsurprised

Just cuz

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Unsurprised

Good grief.

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Unsurprised

Eh … Close enough.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Oops. That’s the placeholder image for a video. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bb-WmHUjre4/?taken-by=france.and.jesse

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to re-up my caffeine and nicotine. Oy.

laserguru

Guess that means I should juice up the vape.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Show off.
I miss legal weed.

Unsurprised

I need to find a caption-less version of this.

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Unsurprised

Interesting sweater design.

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Unsurprised

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laserguru

I had a train of thought but I forgot to buy a fare.

Hi everybody!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_kk8mGqBj8

theeWeeBabySeamus

Howdy fucker.

laserguru

How’s the Cackalacky treating you brother man?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh….my redneck family trying to kill me, but that’s nothing new.
It ain’t SoCal. Or even Vegas. But….well, I got nothing. It sucks.

laserguru

We finally got some fucking moisture.

The fires are a really fucked up part about living here.
I guess if it gets too close I just start swimming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neGdoqsuiN8

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go west, young man.

laserguru

If I swim past Catalina I guess that’s…

Hawaii?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well….waaaayyyyy past, yeah.
LMFAO.

laserguru

Mahalo!

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Always use the buddy system.

Unsurprised

Hi, Dr. Nick!

Unsurprised

Más

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Unsurprised

Some Alexis Ren
z
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Unsurprised

Holy crap.

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Unsurprised

Unrelated set of four pics. Maybe go with a Lady In Red theme?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually do like that idea. Had I seen it about an hour ago we’d have gone with it.
But I’ll keep it in mind, promise. January and February will be filled with “wtf do I do?” weeks no doubt.

Unsurprised

I’ve collected a few more. Should I hold off for now or just link them for you to bookmark?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah man, link away. I appreciate it, no doubt.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That actually would be a great theme for lead up to Valentine’s day if not before.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In that dress, her tits kinda look like a heart anyway. LOL.

Yes, I’m going to hell.

Unsurprised

Good idea. FYI, Feb. 14, 2018 is a Wednesday. Feb. 9 is the preceding TGISF.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Caught in the middle, of course. But no matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q

Unsurprised

How about an Australia theme since it’s summer there?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Australia is a sore subject for me today, considering I tried to extend holiday greetings to a certain down under narcissist nazi last night, in spite of my knowing better, and as expected it came back to bite me in the ass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And not in a good way.

Unsurprised

Ouch. Well, at least she can’t shoot you from Australia.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s narcissistic enough to disagree.
Which is why I should have known better.
Well, that and the whole nazi thing.

My FF team isn’t named “tWBS Never Learns” for nothing.

Senor Weaselo

You expected it to end well?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope. But extending the holiday wishes, especially in her case, is significant.
Won’t lie, part of it was just to make sure I was correct in my opinion that she has reached the level of “irredeemable”.

She has, fwiw. Psychosis mixed with hatred. She should be put down, IMHO.

But I had to know for sure before giving up on her once and for all.

That’s a running theme this year it seems.

Unsurprised

If I could give you access to the Instagram posts I’ve saved without giving you access to my account I’d do it.

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Unsurprised

Artist’s depiction of tWBS’s POV

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Gif versions suck –

https://gfycat.com/DiscreteCreepyGrison

https://gfycat.com/UnluckySpicyDonkey

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t I wish.

Fronkenshteen

If everything goes off without a hitch, I’m getting my wife lingerie & cocaine for Christmas.
USA! USA!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Make sure it fits you. She’ll be less than impressed if you show up in a corset which….

Wait, you meant… Never mind.

Doktor Zymm

Is it just me, or does a Paul Ryan press conference look kind of like a QB press conference after a 3 interception loss?

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

It’s odd since psychopaths are usually very charming and persuasive.

Unsurprised

To quote myself earlier, The Internet was just killed by sewer-dwelling CHUDs.

Seriously, the asshole in the middle looks like his tongue is about to flick out at any moment to moisten his eyes.

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WCS

You’re doing a disservice to the actual CHUDs.

Unsurprised

I know these assholes aren’t human, but it’s close enough.

Fronkenshteen

They’re all YOUNG!
/shudders

Doktor Zymm

There aren’t THAT many old Cannibalistic Human Underground Dwellers

Unsurprised

Eat The Old

Doktor Zymm

That’s pre-war thinking. We can afford to eat people in their prime nowadays, no reason to let them wither first.

Senor Weaselo
Doktor Zymm

I’m actually kind of amazed that the opponents of net neutrality haven’t branded themselves as in favor of ‘net positivity’
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Unsurprised

That’s because they’re stupid. Being rich doesn’t change that.

Doktor Zymm

It’s somewhat reassuring to think that I would be better at everything I hate than the people who promote everything I hate. They’re fairly successful, so it’s not that reassuring, but whatever.

Unsurprised

Being right doesn’t mean shit when the other side has money.

Case in point, your boss is going to buy his way further into the presidential election than he would otherwise because he can throw $1.5Bn at a campaign when in reality the only thing he deserves is to be forever pelted with piss-filled balloons.

Fronkenshteen

Oh. I just got it. Vegas Nights. Clever

Doktor Zymm

Maybe this is a dumb question, but why don’t they do more forest management and controlled burns in low risk conditions in CA? It’s not like wildfires are inevitable…

WCS

This actually came up in a grad course I was in back in… 2008? Whatever. There’s so much red-tape, so much land that isn’t really monitored or policed, and, just the weather and climate really make things tough.

Doktor Zymm

Well that’s depressing as shit. Let’s ban sugar or whatever and try to micromanage people’s moral choices, but nah, it’s way too much effort to prevent people from burning to death

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s also potential problems which result from removal of vegetation once the rainy season arrives, fwiw. It’s a difficult balance, trying to predict which is the lesser of evils in any given year/season.

WCS

The terrain also plays a major factor. These fires start in extremely remote locations, and are fed by dry vegetation, tough terrain, and wind patterns.

A metaphor I use in class: It’s like the Rage virus in 28 Days Later, or World War Z. It starts in outside, backwards areas, but, due to lack of resources to stop it, and a large amount of “tinder” to spread, it just starts and goes. For a long time.

Unsurprised

E.g. The fire that nearly got Multnomah Falls and turned Portland’s air toxic back in the beginning of September was finally 100% contained last week.

Brick Meathook

Wildfires in California ARE inevitable. They’re part of the natural ecosystem. Chaparral hills need to burn every 20 years to stay healthy; redwood forests need a ground fire to kill the deadwood at the same interval and redwood trees only spread seeds after their trunks have been scorched (they survive fires just fine that’s why they’re so old).

The answer is not building houses on fucking mountainsides.

Unsurprised

The answer is not building houses on fucking mountainsides.

That sounds like commie thinking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re correct.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Welp, as much as I enjoy being told how much my musical tastes suck, I really did forget to write TGISF this week.

And I’m only joking. About my appearing to be upset about being told my musical tastes suck, that is. I really couldn’t care less.

But I really haven’t started TGISF this week yet. I’m totes fucked.

😛

WCS

Oh! Oh! Sexy actual princesses, both real and fictional!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Settle down, spaz. Your Egyptian Goddess week is coming.

So to speak.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just post a bunch of hot chix pix. Despite what everyone says, they’re not really all that interested in the articles or interviews.

Doktor Zymm

would not object to a token amount of sexy mens

theeWeeBabySeamus

You got it Dok.
Honestly stopped doing the equal time because I figured none of the ladies even read it.

But I really do need to go get started I guess.

Night folks.

Doktor Zymm

I’m not around every Friday, but when I am I do tend to scroll through the sexy ladies. I do read the text though, and a token image would be appreciated 🙂

Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

Okay….so the Ghost Ship was a club, not an actual ship

WCS

The movie really wasn’t awful. Wasn’t great, but, enjoyable.

Doktor Zymm


Okay, let’s 90’s this up. Do people still use bass?

WCS

I play bass, so I certainly hope so. Actually, the DUBSTEP has quasi-restarted a new group of people to play it. Problem is, #BROSTEP isn’t actually bass. Eh.

Fronkenshteen

I’m drunk enough that the cat is side-eyeing me. This Pit/Vegas game’ll do nicely!!
[passes out]

Fronkenshteen

No more Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes?

Wakezilla

Hot taek: Colin Kaepernick could take this Broncos team to the AFC championship. It’s too bad he’ll never play in the NFL again.

Doktor Zymm

Wrong teams, but eh, whatevs
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Fronkenshteen

I wish I could quit you Lombardi.

WCS

Apropos of nothing: Ajit Pai has a very punchable face.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I prefer apple or pumpkin.

Doktor Zymm

We’ve covered this in excruciating detail. The TL;DR, yup, we agree. Cheers!

WCS

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Snark aside, I’ve been running around all day and night. Sad I missed that “discussion.”

Doktor Zymm

We totally support your urges of violence towards that dick. The discussion was pretty tangential to that essential point. Have you watched American History X?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He was curb stomped earlier.

Horatio Cornblower

If I ever see him I’m probably going to get arrested.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will bail you out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, if it ain’t too much; if it is too much I will bring you cigarettes for you to exchange to keep your butthole safe.

Wakezilla

Take away health care is one thing. Taking away people’s porn is flirting with revolution

WCS

This needs to be bannered. I might make this my Twitter profile.

Senor Weaselo

Sex and alcohol. (Yes, it’s for the “When Britain taxed our tea we got frisky, imagine what gon’ happen when you tax our whiskey” line)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBmTdJ4XTfs

Doktor Zymm

Danny Elfman : Apparently way more controversial on DFO than shit like CTE or whatever 😛

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.
Fuck that guy.
(also I’m only joking, I have no problems with the Elf man)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

USA! USA!

Except for Idaho; fuck those people.

Senor Weaselo

But which Girl Scout cookie does he prefer?

Viva La Tabula Raza

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist.”comment image

Doktor Zymm

Huh, this water is still carbonated weeks later! Hooray for forcing gas into fluid!

Horatio Cornblower

Brennan‏
@Bmangall20

My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever

King Hippo

can we has ANOTHER garbage time FG? McManus DO need teh practice!

theeWeeBabySeamus

GARBAGE TIME PICK SIX!!!!
AND STOP THROWING TO DOYLE!!!!!
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...

I just remembered how sad I’m going to be when Patrick Stewart dies.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just imagine how he feels about it.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw him and Ian McKellan in NYC in ‘No Man’s Land’ and it was just fucking fantastic.

Still don’t know what the play was about, but I looked it up later and Pinter, who wrote it, said he didn’t know what it was about either, so I didn’t feel too bad.

Anyway, I’ll be over here, smelling my own farts.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, stop bogarting that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Get used to it.

Doktor Zymm

Basic Instinct also had quite a good orchestral soundtrack. Maybe eat Jerry Goldsmith’s soul too. Also, screw any movie without an original sountrack.

Fronkenshteen

That FG help Hippo bigly? Ppl are saying…

King Hippo

yes, my kicker score is now at least acceptable

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit…I forgot to write TGISF this week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m gonna need caffeine.
And a shitload of dimes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Here ya go, done :
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm…..no?

Doktor Zymm

I really hope that’s sharpie and not a tat

Romonobyl

Evening all.
There is not a scientific instrument sensitive enough to measure how few fucks I give about this game, although anything with The Brock has to have some entertainment value.
The Dame’s sister is flying in tomorrow (in an airplane) from D.C. This means a frantic house cleaning, which is a good thing because the house gets cleaned up, but also bad because I have to help clean up the damned house.

Doktor Zymm

I think the smallest unit of fucks given is the minimum number of pixels scanning into the ‘f’ of fuck from left to right in the font that minimizes that number. So yes, I can measure your small amount of fucks!

Doktor Zymm

We gots some musicians here…if you kill Danny Elfman can you eat his soul and maybe compose an awesome original score for TNF or something?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think killing him is its own reward.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You could do it with some of the music you post.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh wow. Now that hurts.
(not really, lmao)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vyZeF_DLq4

Viva La Tabula Raza

Boo this! Oingo Boingo was my jam back in the 80s and early 90s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yet I catch shit from everyone about my musical “indiscretions”.

Fuck you people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shows you or other should not hammer on people for musical or any other very subjective taste….. well, except for a bunch of those songs you like, because they are terrible.

Support the troops….. except for Jerry; that guy is a dick.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I never have.
Kinda my point. Been listening to others’ narrow minds my whole life about what I like. Funny how it’s never bothered me when they listen to shit I don’t like and I’m able to not inject my opinion about what they like WHICH IS NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I support all cancer survivors…… well, except for Tammy; she’s a fucking asshole.

I was just giving you shit.

*I hid your Black Crows tape back in the day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose, in case it’s not clear, that wasn’t directed at you.
I get where you’re coming from my man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You never did find it did you? That’s what you get for playing it over and over, then drunk singing along with it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t been around here long enough to know about those musical proclivities of yours to which Moose refers, but I’m more of a “Oh you like that? Not really my bag” kinda guy than an “Oh you like that? Your taste sucks.” kinda guy. Whatever trips ones trigger, I always figger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I gave him some shit then posted two Barry Manilow songs in a row.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Manilow fucking rocks.
Well, rocks might be the wrong word.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

rocks IS DEFINITELY THE WRONG WORD. But I heard somewhere that he writes the songs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, he came and gave without taking.

Neil Diamond had some pretty good tunes, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No worries. But watch this…..
(see, no one will say anything now probably)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG-vLZrb-g

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! GIVE US SOME WARNING!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m good with that. Didn’t see the cloven-hooves dad thing coming, must admit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Word of advice: Don’t admit to anyone around here that you might not hate Fall Out Boy.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve heard of them but never heard them. On first listen, that was ok by me.

What’s the consensus here on Nickleback?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, you might REALLY wanna duck now. But I won’t….good damned song here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmeUuoxyt_E

theeWeeBabySeamus

Probably ixnay on the Coldplay too, just in case.

Senor Weaselo

It’s the one song you’re allowed. Because it’s pretty funny.

Senor Weaselo

He gave us the good Batman movie/animated theme! And Simpsons!

Shogun Marcus

Sure!

Fronkenshteen

Mid-90’s Trey Anastasio is not to be fucked with.