Your “Let’s Keep ‘Er Going Fellas” Sunday Afternoon/Morning NFL Football Open Thread

I’ll acknowledge you west-coasters in the lede just this one time and then never again. There’s so much football, basketball and hockey coming out the ying yang, it’s an embarrassment of riches. And I must say that all commenters acquitted themselves quite well all day/night long yesterday. Now it’s time to do it all over again… TO THE GAMES!

Miami/Buffalo:

The non-existent money I have riding on this tilt says that Catler will revert back to one of his earlier, ineffectual lives after a truly wtf? performance last week vs. the Pats. I’ll go further-whoever gets the start between the likes of Taylor, Webb and Peterman will out-shine The Catman.

Baltimore/Cleveland:

The Browns march to the opposite of perfection continues unabated… The Ravens at 7-6 seem to be barely in the playoff race-a-roo but after this week they’ll be murderizing the Colts and Bengals so all is good on the post-season front for them.

Cincinnati/Minnesota:

The Vikes are looking to get back on track after losing to Carolina and that’s why they’re embracing a home date vs. the Bengals so closely to their bosom. Why? The awesome Minny run D faces down a Cincy rushing attack that averages less than 80 ypg. Gulp. So that puts the game in the shaky hands of Mr. Dalton and voila-there’s your Bengals loss exactly as it was drawn up on the Etch-a-Sketch.

New York Jets/New Orleans:

Qb McCown broked his dadgum hand last week. Was it the same dude that stepped on Fatty Stafford’s paw a few weeks ago? Is there a secret “QB Hand-Ruining Cabal” forming in the NFL? The evidence is thin at the moment but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it day and night. Anyhoo, the Nathan Peterman of the Jets-Bryce Petty-will be playing the part of the sacrificial lamb today.

Philadelphia/New York Giants:

Eagles fans aren’t buying Carson Wentz’s malarkey about his injury being a part of God’s plan. No, they’ve adopted the “Fucking, Suckbagging Shit! Why Does This Happen To Us Every Time?” narrative. Why is it that drooling, alcoholic, racist dickbags can never have nice things? (“hey, I’m painting with broad strokes here-easy now, fellas”) Foles gets the start.

Arizona/Washington:

To be watched for fantasy purposes only. How you managed to get this far with anyone from these two squads on your team is a mystery for the ages. (Says the guy that cacked out last week)

Green Bay/Carolina:

Today’s hagiography is brought to you by the letters “A” and “R” and by the number “1”(man team). Props go out to Brett Hundley who did his best to staunch the bleeding by going a semi-respectable 3-5 while the league’s most valuable clavicle healed itself. As for this game, Andy Reid would say, “There’s a lot of steak here.”

Houston/Jax:

If the Jags win they be in. T.J. Yates has state, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”. So there you have it-the Jags are in.

Fire up your nipples folks, there’s work to do down below.

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

That looks fun.

Doktor Zymm

I mean, there’s no way Eli actually cares anymore, right? He’s got his rings and his money, he probably just thinks “fudge it” every throw, right?

King Hippo

what a shitty throw

Gratliff

Fucking finally

Doktor Zymm

Huh. There’s no way to score exactly five points in a play…..lame

Gratliff

Why the fuck did they run on 3rd?

King Hippo

so they can run that slant on 4th

herodotus450

Is this the game the Giants need to turn their season around, make the playoffs, and upset the pats in the super bowl again?

rockingdog

u know it

Gratliff

My count’s unofficial, but I’ve seen the Eagles drop 43 interceptions this game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, that oughta do it.
Oh well.

Nice run Ingram. You fucker.

King Hippo

DON’T SCORE TOO FAST, DUM-DUMS

Shogun Marcus

That oughta do it now.

Doktor Zymm

HAWT TAKE : MACADOO WAS FIRED FOR HIS STUPID MUSTACHE NAWT HIS ELI BENCHING

King Hippo

WHAT IS A CATCH??

King Hippo

stupid not-Davante

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Meh, looks like nothing but a button masher

Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

This Eagles/Giants game is win/win for me. I will laugh no matter who wins.

Gratliff

Is it just me or is fighting WAY up this season?

Unsurprised

It is.

Unsurprised
King Hippo

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

King Hippo

Thanks, Panty Head!

Doktor Zymm

I mean….the animals that the city of Buffalo is named after make better cheese than the animals that the Miami team is named after

Unsurprised

Buffalos rape fewer people, too.

Doktor Zymm

TRUTH

King Hippo

PACKERS ALIVE!!

Shogun Marcus

Sonuva…

King Hippo

just when you thinks you’re OUT…

Gratliff

Do you think Cutler laughs every time he cashes a game check?

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t the NFL do direct deposit?

Unsurprised

I really don’t think so.

JustStopDude

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It sucks being a Browns fan…

King Hippo

typical Bills

theeWeeBabySeamus

That reminds me. I still need to pay my phone bill.

Petronel

And this silly silly game is done. (‘Dacteds)

herodotus450

Pittsburgh is 11-2?

King Hippo

seems wrong, but the maths checks out

herodotus450
...

With a loss to the Bears (!) of all teams.

King Hippo

helmet removal save??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

The realism as amazing

Doktor Zymm

Has anyone ever seen all three challenges used successfully in a game? I can’t think of an instance.

Shogun Marcus

Triplette had to have been involved in one.

herodotus450

No, but I did find this cromulent looking table of numbers.
http://www.footballzebras.com/2016/12/17/success-rate-of-coachs-challenges-up-slightly/

JustStopDude

Fucking Browns punted on 4th down. Down by three fucking scores and Hue just gives the fuck up.

I really want to fucking know how this guy is allowed to coach like his fucking job isn’t on the goddamn line.

Unsurprised

It clearly isn’t.

Shogun Marcus

It’s been confirmed already that he’s back next year. So…why would he?

JustStopDude

I am being unclear in my seething rage…WHY IS HE CONFIRMED TO BE BACK NEXT FUCKING SEASON?!?!

Shogun Marcus

Now THAT is a whole nother question!

King Hippo

the shit-ass, irrelevant ‘Dacteds/Birdcano match is all we gots, dramatics-wise

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Yup. I don’t even care, and I think I’m supposed to.

King Hippo

It’s like the Giants can’t do anything right whatsoever.

Doktor Zymm

like?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Damn the Cleveland Stadium is emptying out…like we are almost into Chargers territory…

Gratliff

ZACK MF ERTZ

Doktor Zymm

Hey baby, want me to hold your big tight ends?

herodotus450

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Now I have to clean beer off of my monitor.
Thanks man.

LMFAO

clint greasewood

Steve Hauschka taking the piss

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herodotus450

I see he’s gearing up for his Alabama Senate run.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He learnt that in Rawlee.
We be classy n shit.

JustStopDude

DeShone Kizer is 3-of-7 for -12 yards and an interception. All 3 of his completions have lost yardage. His longest completion is -1 yards. Kizer is the first QB to throw for -12 yards or fewer in a quarter since Kerry Collins in 2009 against the Patriots. pic.twitter.com/hLQel5toJo

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) December 17, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is for Dok:

Rosé

I’m sorry, but every time you type that I think of a woman named Rose.

Doktor Zymm

I know, but I’m too damn lazy to use any sort of diacritical

ballsofsteelandfury

The double entendre…

“My slippers are soaked with Rose”

Doktor Zymm

You into some weird shit dude
😛

herodotus450

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You been drawing French whores again, or what?

Gratliff

Eagles have now blocked a FG, a PAT, and a punt.

Doktor Zymm

“Rodgers Swallowed” (up)

King Hippo

oh, Gigantes…

Gratliff

FUCK YES SPECIAL TEAMS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Anybody seen my dog?

King Hippo

Elisha in the RPO? NOT GREAT, BOB!!

Redshirt

…and the Bengals avoid a shutout.

JustStopDude

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Kizer throws into quadruple coverage…

herodotus450

Burfict tried to give a “Win one for the gipper” speech to fire up the Bengals today, but stopped halfway through. “The gipper? Who’s that? Where am I?”
/Because he’s a concussed criminal type, you see.

Doktor Zymm

Hehe. Rodgers is “unloading”

Redshirt

Hacked Sex Tape?