I’m still sore about being tossed off results last week, even though Balls did a fine job.
This week though — man. I don’t have much to offer anyone. Selection was weak but, hey, if anyone is going to make lemonade out of lemons, it’s all of you all.
All of you all, fine people.
Sorry for the distraught appearance of Week 15 Quotables. I’m just a little bummed that Arizona became mathematically eliminated from the playoffs on Sunday. They last scored a touchdown on December 3rd and are still talking about, “not doing anything foolish with our draft position” — as a reference to both losing out (which they need to do) or trading up to get a franchise quarterback (which they also need to do). If you’re taking NFL futures, let me give you two pointers. First, the Cardinals will suck. Second, the response to “But is Blake Bortles elite?” will soon be “Well, he won a Super Bowl.”
God I wish the Bears had carried Rex Grossman to a Super Bowl.
But enough about Sexy Rexy, on to your Week 15 submissions.
[…] and I should say that LemonJello got screwed by the primacy effect. His Lions joke was amazing and should have had a twofer this week, but I couldn’t shake the first one in the […]
[Tries to fade slowly into the bushes] – Darren Fells
“Look at my wily white hat slide. We are seeking a 200 million dollar contract.”–Scott Boras
“I wonder what Trent Green is doing righ–banana”–Davante Adams
HOW WAS THAT NOT CHRIS CONTE!!!
Use of a non-standard object on the course; add a stroke
“Nooeehhhhhhh”
/DROOL FLIES OPEN
— Gary Kubiak
this was so close to a butt fumble kind of thing
Antonio’s ultimate TD celebration: his dance is so damn fly, he hurts himself.
Last time I saw a Patriot player dancing over a fallen foe like that, it was after Hernandez double tapped that guy.
Shots fired!
♫ La! La-la-la-la-Lions! La-la-la-la-Lions! La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la. ♫
Damn it! I knew I should have spent those Experience Points on Stamina and not Speed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8
Blake Bortles attributes his recent success to following the TB12 plan.
In every way. Religiously.
Perhaps a little too religiously.
Thank goodness Martha Clay Ford isn’t alive to see this
Crazy Horse IV across the Ambassador Bridge in Windsor is really shooting for the moon.
Come on, leave mocking Mike Tomlin’s character in Major League II for the practice field
As long as we’re on visual humor, this thread became a walk down the Far Side of memory lane for me:
https://twitter.com/kenlowery/status/942838027906371586
I’m marking my afternoon as Busy. Hold all my calls.
Come on down and join Mr. Brown’s Sexy Yoga class at 8:00 pm every Tuesday.
And the award for best Jameis Winston impression goes to…Ted Hussey?
*Ben Roethlisberger and Darren Sharper are ineligible to allow for competition.
Vontaze Burfict is screaming “Karma!” over and over again, but neurologists aren’t sure if its intentional or not. JuJu really scrambled his brains on that hit.
“Look how these thugs take joy in assaulting the good, decent, god-fearing, hardworking EYE-Talian people of this country.”
-D. Trump
Soon thereafter the NFL began investigating Ted “Flask” Olibanger for an Intoxication While at the Work Place policy violation. Written letter only please; address to Ted Olibanger, Shady Quiet Meadows Rehabilitation Center.
It sounded funnier in my head. Oh well.
–Me 97% of the time
And the Albert Haynesworth Memorial Defensing Hustle Award goes to…
“Apathy, Thy name is Buccaneer’s football.”
Wait! You got tossed off? For free?
This is sorely under-appreciated.
And with this injury, Boss Todd’s plans for sweet new mag wheels and a rad flame paint job for his camaro were put on hold.
“What in the wild world of sports is going on here? I drafted you boys to play football, not jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f*gg*ts!”
-Martha Firestone Ford
Why does Martha Ford sound like Slim Pickins?
I bet she does, too.
Here we see a fine job by an NFL official demonstrating both the “Head’s Up” program and proper QB sliding techniques for the television audience.
Jaguras…good? Bortles…competent? WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! IT’S THE DEEP STATE RUINING THIS GREAT GAME!
“This time, Gronk remembers NOT to hit the guy on the ground in the back. He really is just a big ol’meathead, folks.”
“This pansy ass dancing is why people are not watching the NFL anymore.”
-Michael Flatley
“What’s this? A Christmas card addressed to me from Jerry Jones? Why, how thoughtful. Oh, and it’s soooooo heavy. I wonder what could be in there?”
“And the Tom Brady best flopping award goes to – parabola mic guy!”
Hello, darkness my old friend.
Would have been a lot more impressive if he’d measured from the taint
Even professional Lesser Footy players think this flop was over exaggerated.
THIS IS THE FUTURE CUCKSERVATIVES WANT
For the Lion’s one, your caption will be hard to beat.
Weird time for a Nancy Kerrigan impression
What is best in Gronk’s life: To crush your brewskies. See your coverage driven down before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women as they realize they are not Gronk’s women.
Just a little slice of perfection, right here.
Huh, I guess fat, drunk, and stupid IS a way to go through life after all
Can’t wait to see the costume about Seattle’s season going off the rails
JESUS!
It took me a second and then it clicked and I was:
WINNER WINNER, git BFC some chicken dinner!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44Q58kWAsCo
I’ve heard of bowing down to a superior opponent, but never during an actual play.
Upon further review, the official did not complete an officiating move after the flag was tossed, therefore no foul occurred.
Just let me check my memo listing the teams in order of favoritism, to see if it’s a first down or not.