Your “And I Wonder, Yes I Wonder. Who’ll Stop The Run?” AFC Wild Card Open Thread

Here’s your first of 11 playoff games to enjoy as the 2017/18 season begins the old wind-down. It doesn’t seem on the surface to be that sexy a tilt but one team will advance and the other will call it a day so I guess it’s got that going for it. Shall we jump in? TO THE GAME!

TITANS/CHIEFS:

KC is much like most teams in that they tend to win when they get turnovers. In their ten wins they forced 25 of them. I mention this because qb Mariota has regressed this year and has a non-sparkling 13/15 TD/Intercept ratio. It should be noted that he’s reigned in his penchant for fumbling…finally.

Injuries:

Ouchies to both A. Hunt and Thomas could mean that Tyreek Hill gets some more opportunities to touch the ball and the more he’s able to run around the more he’s likely to break a long one. On t’udder side DeMarco is gone so rb Henry will be carrying the full load. He did so last week and he kinda struggled but the talent is there.

History:

The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home in 24 years. Oof. Here’s something else though-they’ve not given up more than 20 points at Arrowhead in more than a year.

Other Stuff:

The Titans have the eighth-best rushing attack in the league and the KC run D is ranked dead last. However, the latter squad really messed things up statistically during that losing slide mid-way through the sked. As it happens, Henry and Co. have been effective at runs longer than 4+ and 10+ yards according to some advanced stats I don’t fully understand.

My Hot Take(Away):

Takeaway? Get it? Who says that we at DFO don’t pander to our legions of Brit commenters? Anyboo, I figure Henry has to run for at least 125 and Mariota has to have a perfect game as far as turnovers are concerned. Much like most of the Chiefs opponents, I don’t think the Titans will be able to contain te Kelce which will in turn free up Hill.

So get with the tip-tapping down below.

 

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Smithchez

Oof, Eric.

King Hippo

Eric Decker? Still a piece of shit.

litre_cola

WHAT THE FUCK DECKER??? DID YOUR HORSECOCK GET IN THE WAY????

Romonobyl

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Gratliff

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ERIC

fleshwound_NPG
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

remember when randy moss choose the tits to win this game?

litre_cola

And II bet on them? Yeah, good times.

King Hippo

I feel bad, kind of talked you into it. At least you didn’t also bet moneyline like me, they could still cover.

litre_cola

That’s gambling

blaxabbath

Every NFL player enters the league with CTE.

Still not sure what all those asshole J-School alumns are using as an excuse….

Gratliff

How the fuck did the AFC South get a wild card? Could’ve given that second to one of the much more deserving NFC teams.

fleshwound_NPG

they played teams like the clots and texans twice each

blaxabbath

You mean SEA?

I think the WC slots should go to the #2 teams in the divisions with bye week teams. Wild Card squads do jack in the post season so let’s make it fun by forcing rivals to drag along their division partners if they want the top two seeds.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I completely forgot Revis is with KC.

blaxabbath

He’s Missouri’s most private island.

Smithchez

“The NFL Playoffs: The Good Games Start Next Week”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Actually the Chiefs only have two home playoff wins as a franchise. They came against Todd Marinovich and Neil O’Donnell.

King Hippo

Now THAT is a fine bit of fact digging. YOU CAN DO THIS, metrosexual Hawaiian dude!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that quarter was about as bad as I could have hoped for.

litre_cola

My son just ate day old cheese off the ground. I have never been so proud.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Any left?

litre_cola

No but now I plan to make nachos!

Gratliff

Floor cheese was probably safer

Romonobyl

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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FUCK work email.

fleshwound_NPG
rockingdog

gotta love xmas ape.

blaxabbath

Yeah – wings are good

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Damn Chiefs, you scary.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, until they play the Patriots or Steelers.

litre_cola

I would love them to play the Pats in Foxboro again.

King Hippo

I always enjoy when my two least favourite teams in the NFL meet in the playoffs!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stupid Titans. MAKE THIS WORTH WATCHING!

King Hippo

I mean, if I have to flip to goddamned motherfucking Wake Forest/BC hoopsball…

King Hippo

This is just goddamned awful, Tits.

litre_cola

Truth Biscuit likes all Tits, so he disagrees.

fleshwound_NPG

THESE SHITTY TENNESSEE TITS LEMME TELL YEA I CALL EM THE TENNESSEE TARA REIDS

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Big boy makes big throw!

Redshirt

“Illegal Use of Hands to the Face”. Is there a legal use of hands to the face?

fleshwound_NPG

yes, doing so while wearing a new england jersey

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

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Gratliff

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blaxabbath

Think they are explaining it as: illegal use of hands [by going to] the face.

blaxabbath

Got ribs in the smoker – just couple hours left. Gonna go pull out the wings now tho.

Redshirt

What the hell, Fuse?! You ended a Scrubs marathon in the middle of the Heather Graham episodes?! That’s evil!!!!
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Romonobyl

Rollergirl or GTFO.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

New sitcom on ESPN, “Shhhh, the Star Player is Gay!”

fleshwound_NPG

jeff triplette is a “highly-rated” nfl official

Spur

I want proof of the statement.

King Hippo

Isn’t that like being “World’s Best Jizz Mopper?”

Redshirt

Referee: “Per NFL Rules, there is no foul for Late Hit Out-of-Bounds as the Director had cued the outro music.”

Spur

So far this playcallining for Tennessee has been all Missionary with her bra on.

Redshirt

That’s better than “Getting turn down by your Right Hand”.

Romonobyl

Or catching your right hand with another man.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A checkdown on 3rd and 20 inside your own red zone? What are you THINKING? Throw it downfield!”

– Every meathead NFL fan everywhere

King Hippo

oh God, I’mma need SO MUCH v-profen today.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Travis Kelce as a j-back:

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rockingdog

spider 10 million y banana

Spur
King Hippo

ok, 7-minute TD drive time

Smithchez

The only thing that could make 15:17 to Paris more “JINGOISM 2: AMERICANS ARE SUPERIOR BOOGALOO” would be Chris Kyle showing up in a stinger with an eye patch.

Spur

Fuck Yeah! Americans in France The Movie

King Hippo

ok, FUCK. As a heavily vested GAMBLOR devotee, I did not like that one bit.

litre_cola

Wonder if Don T is watching this in the Burger King too?

rockingdog

LOL
trump has a bedtime cheeseburger!

Col. Duke LaCross

I suppose it’s kind of a step up from Hasselhoff’s bathroom cheeseburger.

/Not really a silver lining.

King Hippo

Does it have a smoking section??

litre_cola

I would assume it has to.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamnit Titans.

Smithchez

It’s almost astounding that The Good Doctor is as popular as it is, only in the way that it’s not astounding at all. A medical drama mashed up with a “he’s a genius because he’s on the spectrum” lead is like TV madlibs.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Coming up on ABC next week, “Retard Fireman”!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Followed by, “That Hairdresser Has Scoliosis!”

Romonobyl

You haven’t had sex until you’ve received a hummer from a woman with Bell’s Palsy. I refrain from any further details.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If the Clinton impeachment taught me anything, it’s that a hummer isn’t technically “sex”.

Romonobyl

After further review (asked the wife), that call has been overturned.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Did you lose feeling in one of your balls?

Redshirt

I demand a Perfect Strangers sitcom with Rain Man and Forrest Gump!

King Hippo

I laughed quite heartily, good sir. THANK YOU

Romonobyl

Not nearly as bad as Grey’s Anatomy though.

Smithchez

Didn’t that show have ghosts at one point, too? Hell, I’d be shocked if those assholes from Big Bang Theory never ended up in that hospital at some point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, one of the main characters was having an affair with a ghost.

King Hippo

Basically, the only comeback menfolk have when ladyfolk point out all our dumb, horrible shit is but Grey’s Anatomy!

Smithchez

Show’s been on for 14 goddamn years.

Romonobyl

Is that the episode where the brain surgeon got chlamydia from Casper?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A complete asshole with no social awareness whatsoever? They should call this show The Every Doctor.

Romonobyl

Here’s my first dick move of the day:

Got some errands to run, glad it’s in the upper 60’s so I can finally ditch the long pants. Cargo shorts and Crocs it is!!!!

King Hippo

Empty backfield on 3rd and 3?? The holy tittyfuck is that shit??

Spur

Run the ball with Henry, run play action off that. You can do this Titans.

Gratliff

NARRATOR: They could not.

King Hippo

why are they allergic to give that muthafucka 25-30 touches?

Spur

no clue. Henry is a stud.

Redshirt

When you find out, let me know. The Bengals are killing my soul.

Smithchez

THESE GUYS I CALL THEM FUCKING PAUPERS BECAUSE I’M GUARANTEED 58 MILLION DOLLARS MORE THAN THE RICHEST OF THEM!

fleshwound_NPG

thanks to these ads, lincoln gonna disappear in about 3 years

rockingdog

like dude typed earlier….
its almost like these companies want me to take acid then go drive my car and see what its like

Spur

time to get Erotic!

King Hippo

this guy gets it!!

litre_cola

So feeling dirty for taking the Titans just fits.

Redshirt

Well, I was going to watch football to get the balls-receding-into-abdominal-cavity cold out of my mind, but the TV is showing a Wind Chill Advisory warning on the top 10% of the screen.

rockingdog
Redshirt

But how can I watch porrrrrrrrrrrrrread for new posts?

fleshwound_NPG

a lot of old people complain about small graphics, despite being as large as you describe

expect it to be 20% of the screen next time

King Hippo

WARNING!! It COLD out there!!!

Smithchez

“How do we combat declining viewership and an increasingly apathetic audience?”
“I don’t know, start the 4:00 game at 4:15 and then actually start it 20 minutes after that?”
“Fuck……that’s brilliant.”

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I’ve been away for far too long. How the FUCK YOU DOING BOYS?!

litre_cola

Stoned and tipsy, thank you for asking.

Gratliff

In a word: Cold.

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