2017 Quotables – Divisional Round (Results)

blaxabbath -
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One of my favorite things about the postseason is that this is when stars are made. I mean, say what you will about Blake Bortles, he’s an NFL quarterback for a conference championship game participant.

Oblig.

What happened to Dak and Zeke since flaming out to an 0-1 playoff record in 2016? Nothing. Well, I mean, Dak stole Cam’s Dannon spot and Zeke went ham on his girlfriend but, in terms of their football legacies, very little. And that was over the course of an entire 2017 SEASON. When you want to be in the NFL Hall of Fame, sometimes it just takes one magical day where you are on.

Oblig.

So I’d like to use this opportunity to provide special recognition for [DFO]’s very own Dick E. Phuck who effectively swept the Eagles/Falcons game submissions. Historic callback, topical, offensive, truthful — he really hit on all four horsemen of the Quotables realm. So props to DEP this week. You may enjoy his submissions below.

“’Right on the numbers.’ -B. Osweiler” -Dick E. Phuck
“Jewz n the Hood.” -Dick E. Phuck
“The only way to kill this creature is with a silver battery.” -Dick E. Phuck

For the rest of you, here’s the official Quotables results, brought to you by Derrick Rose winning NBA MVP in 2011.

“Even football can’t make soccer interesting.” -Enrico Pallazzo
“This remake of Weekend at Bernie’s is some gawd-awful shit.” -LemonJello
“Look mom, I’m smoking.” -Game Time Decision
“Big Ben’s brain has left his body in search of Choco Tacos.” -Unsurprised
“Case Keenum demonstrates why ‘mobile’ QBs like Cam Newton and Marcus Mariota are no longer in the playoffs.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy
“‘Aaaaand ONE, two, THREE, four.’ ‘Two and four, buddy.'”-Senor Weaselo
“‘It’s just a bad trip…it’ll wear off eventually.’ – Michael Vick, after that time his teammates spiked his gatorade with LSD.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“‘I would like to be the first to congratulate my broadcast partner Tony here for finally reaching a NFC Championship game.’ ‘Yeah well fuck you Jim.'” -JustStopDude
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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clint greasewood

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clint greasewood

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Gratliff

Holy shit that silver battery line.

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Dick E. Phuck

Thank you all, I’m flattered. Now if you’ll all excuse me I have to make sex/love to my girls:

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SonOfSpam

I applaud this Dick E. Phuck, which is more than my wife has ever done.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY DICK E PHUCK I CALL HIM AFFIRMED BECAUSE HE PULLED OFF A TRIPLE CROWN AND NOW A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WANT TO PUT HIM DOWN

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Gratliff

Gonna hire a bunch of russians to come sign up and smash that fucking like button.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“The only way to kill this creature is with a silver battery.” -Dick E. Phuck

I really don’t belong on the same stage as this guy (at least this week. I’m gonna go grind some tape and hit the gym and bounce back next week).

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Game Time Decision

Great work DEP

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please don’t call it work or he’ll expect to get paid.

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Dick E. Phuck

I take compensation in the form of mescaline, 20 dollars, and fish tacos.

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Game Time Decision

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Hippo’s totally betting on the NFC team to win the “puppy bowl” this year.

/posted in the submissions thread too, but way too late

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