DFO “Insiders” Predict the Championship Round!

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

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Championship weekend is here!

Before getting started let’s address the obvious.

Trust me I watched every replay and this was definitely the best angle. Turn the volume up for this one. Having been to US Bank Stadium I can testify that it is loud during a regular season game I can’t imagine the noise level at the moment of this play. Youngest Right said it best “Every single person in that crowd had to suffer some form of hearing loss.”

As a Vikings fan – since the 1960’s – I’ve seen more than my fair share of heartbreak as most of you already realize. Then again this isn’t the first time something like this play happened.

Back in 1980 on the last day of the regular season Minnesota needed to beat the Cleveland Browns in order to reach the playoffs. That’s right, there really was a time when the Browns were a solid football team. Trailing 22-23 at home at the old Metropolitan Stadium, the Vikings had the ball with 14 seconds left and no timeouts. The following happened.

I was a year out of high school and living in Davenport Iowa while watching this game. I’m fairly certain that some folks across the Mississippi River in Moline Illinois heard me yell. After last week’s game my voice is about back to 70% at the time of this writing. This was the only play in Vikings history that is even close to what happened last week while facing the Saints.

Want to hear an eerie coincidence? After the hail Mary against the Browns, Minnesota went to the playoffs to face…

The Eagles. Who kicked the crap out of the Vikings back in 1980.

History can change dammit! And it will if my prediction has anything to say about it.

First though, how did the DFO “Insiders” do against other NFL “experts” last week?

Here are the results of the awesome and legendary ESPN Insiders through the first 8 games of the playoffs. Hit the drop down for “Divisional round results.”

Of their 10 “Expert Insiders” NONE were better than 2 and 2 picking last week’s games. TWO AND FUCKING TWO!

And how about the mind blowing picking prowess of the fine folks at SI-MMQB? Let’s take a look shall we? Full disclosure they DID have one of their writers choose all 4 games from last week correct. Congrats and respect to Jacob Feldman for getting all four games correct. That was one of their 6 experts.

I was unable to find the wild card round picks from the same group of six at SI/MMQB. HMMMM.

For documentation on how our very own group of DFO “Insiders” did check out last week’s predictions from the DFO Insiders post.

See that? We had THREE of our 11 extra special and talented DFO “Insiders” predict all four games correctly. I will accept the accolades of being one of the glorious three and additional mad love and respect to King Hippo and Brett Favre’s Colonoscopy for also getting all four of last week’s games right.

I am going to stop mentioning/tormenting the other NFL sites because we have statistical HARD fucking evidence that we here at DFO are the vastly superior prognosticators for all things NFL. On the entire INTERNET!

For those of you curious about the overall standings of the NFL playoffs for our DFO “Insiders” here you go:

King Hippo and I are tied at 7 wins to only one incorrect pick. Hippo had the Rams beating Atlanta and as for myself I missed Buffalo against Jacksonville. Sue me, I thought karma was due.

Next we have the Wee Baby Seamus at 6-2, Litre Cola, Don_T and Brett Farve’s Colonoscopy follow at 5-3 with all of the remaining “Insiders” resting at .500. That’s also pretty impressive, nobody has missed more picks than they’ve gotten correct.

TO THE GAMES!

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Jacksonville at New England – Sunday January 21st 12:05 PM PST. CBS coverage.

Line: New England -8 1/2 over-under of 46.

Weather: 42 degrees, mostly cloudy and light winds.

Real Life Analysis!

Unsurprised: “Fuck New England!”

Wakezilla: “Sacksonville v P*triots: With Brady supposedly having an owie, I fully expect the refs to be a little more lenient with the P*ts’ o-line holding so Timmy doesn’t get a bruise. But you know what?

IT’S NOT GOING TO MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! Aaron Colvin is getting 2 picks and that defensive line may get held, but Myles Jack is going to take Brady to pound town early and often.

FUCK THE P*TRIOTS. FUCK THE P*TRIOTS. FUCK THE P*TRIOTS!

The Jaguares winning is my big stick pick of the week!”

Don_T: “Pats…

Balls of Steel: “My heart wants Vikes and Jags, but the harsh reality of life says Pats and Eagles. We live in a cruel world. NE/Philly.”

BFC: “Nothing will stop the Pats from crushing that dream in the Super Bowl so that Tom Brady can bottle tears of joy and sell them for $300/oz. Patriots.”

tWBS: “Jags will win a close one in Foxborough for the same reason. They can bring enough pressure to get to Brady and that’s how you beat the P*ts. Presuming Bortles doesn’t Bortle it up.”

Son of Spam: “Jags upset the Pats because Calais Campbell will devour TB12’s soul.”

King Hippo: “Jaguras win outright, overcoming the evenness of the week, because it is their destiny ever since Shad Khan bravely, tearfully kneeled with his side in London.”

WCS: “Pats, because c’mon. Do you really think BORT can do that again, let alone against Belichik? Also, the universe is a cold, harsh place.”

Litre Cola: “Pats by 17.”

My Take: Jacksonville is playing with epic shitloads of swag right now and while it’s admirable and their defense is a force to be reckoned with, beating the P*ts in New England is too much of a challenge with their experience level. Having won in Pittsburgh was huge and will help them going forward but expecting them to beat the two best teams in the AFC on the road in back-to-back weeks during their first venture to the playoffs in years is just too much.

I am rooting for a MASH unit triage of injuries in this one. New England 38-17.

Vikings at Eagles – Sunday January 21st at 3:40 PM PST. Fox coverage.

Line: Minnesota -3 over/under 38 1/2.

Weather: 43 degrees and overcast with light winds.

Real Life Analysis!

WCS: “Vikings because their defense is going to murderdeathkill Foles, and Philly fans don’t deserve anything but pain.”

King Hippo: “Vikes win and cover. Balanced offense will be Iggles’ downfall, as they can’t sell out to stop one facet or the other. Nor can they keep in a shootout. Say, 27-17.”

tWBS: “Vikes D will give Iggles fits, Foles will not be up to the task of spreading them out. Vikes will not only win, but it will probably get ugly.”

SonofSpam: “Vikings win because they can stop the run and because Diggs didn’t make that play just to lose to a giraffe.”

BFC: “I too want Vikes and Jags, and I think the Vikes pull it off. Keenum is real y’all.”

Don_T: “Vikings – Case Keenum is a conscientious gunslinger.”

Wakezilla: “Vikings v Iggles: It’s hard picking against Philly at home, especially with them embracing the whole ‘we get no respect’ chip on their shoulder. With that said, I think I trust Keenum more than Foles. As a result, I’ll say Vikes’ vicious defense fills Foles’ holes in mostly boring 17-13 win.”

Senor Weaselo: “I’ll take the Vikes.”

My Take: As observed by many of the other “insiders” the Vikings defense is way too stingy for the Eagles offense. Nick Foles is NOT Drew Brees and the Vikings will be able to stop the Eagles rushing attack. I always try to spin a negative into a positive and I think the Vikings pass D will be more than ready after getting the shit scared out of them last week with the Saints comeback. They will tighten that shit DOWN this week. I’m seeing the Vikings winning this one 28-12 with the Eagles only kicking field goals.

And the Vikings will…

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yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
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WCS

If the Vikings do win, this song needs to be played on repeat throughout the bye week.

bk109
bk109

Oh, come on – this is way more appropriate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlNhD0oS5pk
Hell, given the expectations for Philly after the game, these couple of lines may be purrrrfect:
How soft your fields so green
Can whisper tales of gore
Of how we calmed the tides of war
We are your overlords

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Can I switch my pick?”
–A. Peterson

King Hippo

Hippo put another 2 bills on Minny when the odds went to -3 at standard -110. Was -115 or -120 for a long-assed time. Now have 5 bills on each fixture, though 2 of my Jaguras bet is ML.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My only prediction is that Brady’s hand is absolutely fine.

King Hippo

I’m all for somebody going nuts with a super-long extension cord and a blender during warmups, though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Marcellus Wallace would be so proud of you right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Then my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then once during lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…”

– Albert Haynesworth

bk109
bk109

You mean that the whole hand thing is a misdirection? From someone like a chatterbox like Bill Belichik? You don’t say :p
But seriously, haven’t we seen Brady be “questionable” for literally seasons on end?

King Hippo

Also, on my book Jaguras line was all the fuck way down to 7. IT’S HAPPENING!!!

King Hippo

That is nowhere near enough weather for the Iggles. Comparable defenses, but Minny is better at QB, WR1, WR2, RB1, and RB2.

Gratliff

I’m going to be talking immense amounts of shit against Vikings fans, followed immediately by logging off until March if the Eagles lose. Tired of hearing about the Vikes defense like Philly doesn’t rock a championship caliber one itself. Want to get this shit over with after a season of hearing about how good the Vikes are, and personally bask in the devastation of some very close friends who are going to be crushed when the clock strikes midnight and Keenum turns back into a dumpster fire of a pumpkin who’d be Mr. Irrelevant in a pick-up game that involves exclusively other pumpkins.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Underdog joke or still on the Mike Vick thing?

Gratliff

Coincidentally, the last time the Eagles were projected to lose the NFC Championship game at home, it was when the sports world was slobbering all over the incredibly ill-fated ascension of one Michael Vick. I’d love to see Keenum get tee’d up like that, or Theilen, really. There was alot of Dawkins-centric violence in that game.

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King Hippo

Mike Vick is MOAR LIEK dogs under imo godbless

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good hate. Lofty hate.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do think that Philly’s defense is underrated and that Keenum is due for a fall. Foles got a raw deal and is better than Keenum.

Also, the Vikings shouldn’t even be here. The Saints gave them a gift and they know it.

Wakezilla

Honestly, the only reason why I think Minny beats Philly is because of Foles. Everywhere else, I think they’re even Steven

blaxabbath

Of note – this weekend has some serious pro bowl implications.

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LemonJello
LemonJello

More people in attendance there than a Shitty Clippers game…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I believe this picture is the last time Kyle Long had two fully functioning legs.

blaxabbath

“Pound Town? More like limp town!”

-Stormy Daniels

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

+1 forest of orange pubes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pound Town? More like just enough pounds to fall short of the clinical definition of obese town.”

– Ronny Jackson, M.D.

bk109
bk109

Pats by 21 with everyone outside of the fandom quickly shifting gears to the “But it’s the Jaguars”, forgetting their stout defence, while simultaneously bitching about random calls that went against the Jags (and ignoring the ones that went against us).
The Unified Church of Wentz by 3, with a last second field goal for maximum Vikingness!
Bonus prediction: I’d be obnoxious enough by the half-time that my wife would be threatening to leave the stadium 😛
(Feel free to throw the first prediction in my face if we lose… I can take it!)

blaxabbath

In this case, Hoyer will get 8 minutes of action.

Ugh.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY BK109 I CALL HIM AGENT CLARICE STARLING CAUSE IT WILL AMUSE US GREATLY TO SEE HIM HAVE SOMETHING THROWN IN HIS FACE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Next we have the Wee Baby Seamus at 6-2

Close but no cigar. It’s fucking FF all over again.
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Senor Weaselo

FWIW, I’m picking the P*ts because that game is going to be reffed like it’s Game 6 of Lakers-Kings. You know the one.

bk109
bk109

For the least time, stop blaming the refs – they’re only doing what needs to be done if they want to see their families ali…. err… 😉

LemonJello
LemonJello

We all know where to lay the blame:

Roger Goodell: National Disgrace

King Hippo

That is maybe the very last “association” fixture (emphasis on fix) that I paid any attention to whatsoever.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d actually be very curious to see someone work the stats on penalties and/or challenged plays to see which team has benefited the most (in terms of expected win %) from various events. I mean, we all know the Patriots would place first, I’m just curious to see by how much.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Vikes win 30-13. I think the Iggles are gonna have the win the turnover battle to have a shot and even then it’s gonna be tough. If Vikes get 3+ turnovers it’s gonna be a slaughter.
Jags win 32-30 on game winning field goal after a Brian Hoyer INT after Myles Jack finishes the job on Brady’s hand forcing him to leave the game. Everyone cries tears of joy.

LemonJello
LemonJello

If’n my Jaguras can’t win on Sunday, I hope to Cthulhu that they enact the “Meat Tenderizer Protocol” so Minny-sowta sends Dreamboat off to his own special Viking funeral.

Senor Weaselo

Except not to Valhalla, not even to Fólkvangr, but to Helheim with him.
/Yes, I had to look it up

nomonkeyfun

“Fuck New England!”

That is my sentiment, but for my prediction, one needs to add a comma.

For the other game, I’ll go with the Vikes.

I think that game is going to be more gut wrenching somehow than the ‘Aints game. I just don’t know which team’s historical bad mojo is stronger.