Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – 2018 AFLW Round 5

This week,

Someone takes a great picture
Someone takes a blurry picture
And I have a dirty mind


The Round 5 Recap, the preseason games recap, and the Footy Tipping Contest update are all coming up on

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 5

The Round started on North American Late Thursday Night with the Melbourne Demons taking on the Brisbane Lions in Melbourne.  It was a nice welcome home for the Demons as they had dropped the last two games, both away from home.  At the last minute, I changed my tip and this time it proved wrong.  Melbourne DID manage to beat the Lions, if only by a slim 6 point margin.  Here are the highlights:

Later, on Friday Night proper, the Fremantle Dockers took on the GWS Giants in Perth.  I was very pleasantly surprised at the effort and intensity that the Giants brought to the game.  They surprised me by taking the game from the Dockers by a score of 21-39.  Here are the highlights:

On late Friday night, the Adelaide Crows hosted the Carlton Blues in the return of the powder blue unis.  Unfortunately for the Blues, the uniforms did not have the same effect as last year as the Crows easily disposed of the Blues.  The season is quickly getting away from the Blues.  Here are the highlights:

Finally, the lone game on Saturday night featured the Collingwood Magpies trying their best to get back into the competition against the league-leading Western Bulldogs.  I watched the whole game and was impressed by the Pies’ determination and effort.  Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t enough as they fell 41-49.  Here are the highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

P TEAM W L T Pts %
1 Western Bulldogs 4 1 0 16 176.8
2 Brisbane Lions 3 2 0 12 121.9
3 Melbourne Demons 3 2 0 12 102.7
4 GWS Giants 2 2 1 10 102.7
5 Adelaide Crows 2 2 1 10 98.8
6 Fremantle Dockers 2 3 0 8 80.4
7 Carlton Blues 2 3 0 8 50.5
8 Collingwood Magpies 1 4 0 4 95.6


As you can see, we got a lot more separation this week.  The Bulldogs are all alone in first place and by virtue of their percentage are pretty much guaranteed a spot in the Grand Final if they lose one more game.  Lose two, though, and things get trickier.  On the other side of the ladder, the Magpies are mathematically still in it, but they would need a LOT of things to go their way to get in.

Everyone in between still has a chance.  Which makes every game very important down the stretch.


Round 6

We’re in the home stretch!  Only two games left! Here is next week’s schedule (all times Pacific):

Friday,  March 9, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Adelaide Crows v Fremantle Dockers at TIO Stadium

9:35 PM  – Brisbane Lions v Collingwood Magpies at Moreton Bay Central Sports Complex

Saturday,  March 10, 2018

12:10 AM (Late Friday Night) – GWS Giants v Western Bulldogs at UNSW Canberra Oval

9:35 PM – Carlton Blues v Melbourne Demons at Ikon Park


Lady Footy Tipping Challenge!

How did we do this week?  Well, a couple of our tippers AGAIN managed to go without putting the tip in! Well, to be fair, one did get the last game in, but… you’re still earning a foot fetish pic. First, let’s see the standings:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips Total Margin
1 BALLS 2 9 12 133
2 nomonkeyfun 3 6 12 144
3 Spanky Datass 2 13 11 119
4 Litre_cola 2 20 11 136
5 SonOfSpam 2 20 10 146
6 Dolph Ucker 2 6 10 160
7 JolietJakeDelhomme 3 44 9 243
8 Blax 2 6 8 148
9 Sharkbait 1 31 8 313
10 GameTimeDecision 2 20 7 219
11 BFC 3 18 6 189

Yes, you’ve earned it:

I remain in first place,  but only by the slimmest of 11 point margins.  The competition is wide open! Heck, even BFC is getting back in it! Never underestimate the powers of the Blue Balls Jacket (TM). As always,



AFL Preseason

The preseason rolled on with more games.  Hardly any of the stars are playing, so keep that in mind as you prepare for the season. Here are this week’s scores:

Carlton Blues 89 – 67 St. Kilda Saints

GWS Giants 96 – 36 Collingwood Magpies

Western Bulldogs 100 – 78 Hawthorn Hawks

Brisbane Lions 40 – 95 Sydney Swans

Gold Coast Suns 85 – 29 Geelong Cats

Like I said above, the entire Geelong midfield was missing, so take the scores with a grain of salt. Here is this week’s schedule, which will finish the preseason (all times Pacific):

Wednesday,  March 7, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Tuesday Night) – Richmond Tigers v North Melbourne Kangaroos at Ikon Park

Thursday, March 8, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Wednesday Night)  – Melbourne Demons v St. Kilda Saints at Casey Fields 

Friday,  March 9, 2018

12:40 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Sydney Swans v GWS Giants at Blacktown International Sports Park

7:05 PM – Collingwood Magpies v Western Bulldogs at Ted Summerton Reserve

9:35 PM – Adelaide Crows v Port Adelaide Power at Alberton Oval

Saturday,  March 10, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Friday Night) – Hawthorn Hawks v Carlton Blues at University of Tasmania Stadium

7:05 PM Geelong Cats v Essendon Bombers at Central Reserve

9:35 PM – Gold Coast Suns v Brisbane Lions at Fankhauser Reserve

Sunday, March 11, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Saturday Night) – Fremantle Dockers v West Coast Eagles at HBF Arena

Once these games are done, then we have a nice two week break before the season starts in earnest on March 22, 2018


Next week, I will have the recap of Round 6 of AFLW, a check of where we are in the Footy Tipping Contest (with foot fetish pic?), and I will begin the 2018 AFL Season Previews.  A lot of good stuff is coming!  See you next week!



International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

“I will tip on time.”
“I will tip on time.”
/misses tip


I was in a panic because I thought that teh Mens started this week. If anyone else wants in to the tipping contest let Balls and I know.


“Not interested in Men’s footy, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

-Enlightened Rexy


I look forward to returning to reality with this week’s picks.

Game Time Decision

the quest for the wooden spool continues.


comment image


My GWS Giants in the middle of the pack? That’s a perfectly cromulent performance.