Hello, peoples of DFO.  I am back from semi-sabbatical to provide hoopsball tourney coverage.  Please, for the love of God, use whatever analysis comes out of Hippo’s ass for amusement purposes only.  You have been sternly warned.

Warning #2 – this year’s selection show will tip off at 6p EST/5p DFO on TBS – I actually had to use teh Google I was so confused.  At least I can put of finding truTV again until Tuesday night.  That would have given me palpitations.

In advance, I will predict that the #1 seeds are clearly UVA, Nova, Kansas, and Xavier.  Always a small chance Xavier gets bumped, but can’t imagine who would possibly do it.  Arizona is on the naughty list, and their conference is shite.

As always, I have printed a blank bracket so I can fill it in as the 68 are announced…but the fuckers haven’t announced who plays who in the Final Four yet, so I can’t know how to arrange the stupid thing, unless there are clues on the show before the reveal.  Dickmonkeys.

South: Once amateur hour at TBS finally ended, we see a pretty tough road for Wahoowa – should the #1 seed be some kind of advantage?  Creigh-Creigh, Kentucky, and Arizona.  That’s three sides with Top 10 potential when they play at their best.  On the bottom side, Cincy should cruise to the Elite Eight, unless Da U gets super hot.  As they might.

East: WVU and Scary Wheat could rough up Nova a beat, but I don’t see an upset here.  In fact, the whole bracket is pretty much ass, if one doesn’t think much of Texas Tech or Florida (and I don’t).  The committee really wants a Nova/Purdue matchup of guards v. Nazi big men.

Midwest: Kansas gets a rough bracket this year.  Clemson would be a rough opponent in the Round of 16, and Seton Hall could even cause problems in Round Two.  Duke is in the other half, with a murderer’s row of Rhode Island, Sparty, and TCU to contend with.  Whoever comes out of here will have earned their ticket.

West: Xavier was presumably the last #1 seed, and they got the toughest overall bracket.  That said, U*NC (the 2 seed) got the harder half, with Michigan, underseeded Houston (the winner of their really tough opening match v. San Diego State could go a long way), Texas A&M, and Providence – certainly has no easy outs after Lipscomb.  But the Musketeers best not overlook Florida State nor Gonzaga in Rounds 2/3.

That’s that.  Smack me in the head, I’d go with Cincinnati, Villanova, Michigan State, and Xavier.