The Candidate

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Any executives in the room? Anyone responsible for human resources, HR?

How about anyone from a workplace that is always looking for good people? You know, fits in. Would be a good match for the culture. Maybe someone young? Fresh blood. New ideas, ya know?

Ever try LinkedIn? It’s like Facebook but for professional profiles. Not surprisingly, it has not been hacked. Or, if it has, no one cares.

Or it has been. By us. Now, let’s put on our voyeur goggles and check in on your next potential candidate, Mike Clay.


Look like a winner? Well, you’re the Executive/HR Manager/Co-Worker!

Now, let’s hack his webcam.


Interesting. Looks like he’s preparing to sit down and type up something outstanding for ESPN.com.

Oh? Guess he needs a taste before sitting down and putting pen to paper. Hey, let’s call it like it is, a lot of our greatest writers have been drug abusers and womanizers. We’re here to observe and accept, not judge.

Oh boy! Well, so I guess uh….It will be exciting to see what he comes up with here. I think we’ll soon understand all this.

So there’s more. I uhh…..well, man….I….I mean…..Jeez, it’s amazing seeing the artistic process play itself out, huh?


And back to clears? Wow. Huh. Make afterhours productivity great again, right?


Kinda like seeing the sausage being made, huh? Oh! Oh! He’s opening the laptop! He’s got a piece due in the morning and now…..prepare yourself to read sports journalism literary GREATNESS, friends.

BEHOLD!



 

blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, no, ESPN doesn’t just take random positions to foment debate, not at all.

Beerguyrob

“EXACTLY!” – STEVEN A SMITH

nomonkeyfun

No way this “article” was produced under the influence of alcohol. Only hallucinations can account for the Browns being a wild card sleeper pick. Industrial strength bath salts and acid would be my guess.

Game Time Decision

Football joke or DFO-iversity course, you decide.

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mike Clay, huh? Wonder if he’s any relation to Bill Clay.

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litre_cola

Kirkland should not make dark spirits. Anyone can make bathtub vodka but rye is a different story.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s not like they’re actually making it. They just buy their spirits from the same factory distilleries where Grey Goose, etc. is made. I would bet money that is the exact same shit that is also bottled as Crown Royal.

ballsofsteelandfury

Trump sells hooker piss? Yeah, that makes sense.