AFL Beat – 2018 Round 8

We are back and I would be remiss not to thank my good buddy tWBS for filling in for me last weekend!  It’s been, what, three weeks since I’ve done this?  I used to fill these with pictures of hot Australian girls, didn’t I?

2012 Western Australia Miss Universe contestants

If not, I do apologize.  Now, where was I?  Oh yes!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Let us begin where I left off and let’s see how the Premiership race has changed over the last few weeks.  Yes, that means it’s time for the Patented Balls Graph (TM)!

After Round 6

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After Round 7

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After Round 8

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Now, sharp-eyed viewers will notice that a few interesting things happened this week.  Namely, there were some very close games that went down to the wire.  Let’s recap, shall we?


Round 8

The Round started with a rip-roaring affair between perennial favourites Sydney Swans and Hawthorn Hawks.  This game was held at the MCG, which was good for the Swans as they have a horrible record at home.  It was a back and forth game all night and, well, let’s just watch the last two minutes:

The Swans scored the last three goals of the game to take it by 8.  Here are the full highlights:

On proper Friday night, I managed to catch the GWS Giants play the West Coast Eagles live at home.  Boy, the Giants have been ravaged by injuries and it shows.  They are a shell of their former selves.  From the midway point of the second quarter, the Eagles strolled to the win.  Here are the highlights:

At roughly the same time, the Essendon Bombers were hosting the Carlton Blues at the Etihad.  This turned out to be a much better/closer game than the Giants-Eagles contest.   For the first time this year, the Blues managed to close out a game in the fourth quarter and thus earned their first win of the year!  Hippo will be happy.  RTD, not so much.  Here are the highlights:

I make no secret that I don’t like Melbourne. I also make no secret that I don’t think Gold Coast are any good.  Hence, it was a very good thing that this game between them was played while I was asleep.  As I woke up, I saw that Melbourne, as expected, routed the Suns.  Highlights:

Now THIS was a game I wish I could have stayed awake for.  The Showdown, as the Adelaide Derby is known, never disappoints.  This time, an unlikely hero appeared at the end to win the game:

Former Geelong midfielder Steven Motlop paid back a little of the money that Port invested in him.  Good for him.  Here are the full match highlights:

I really feel bad for the Brisbane Lions.  I mean, the Women’s team loses the Premiership twice by 6 points in the Grand Final and the Men’s team can’t buy a win.  Is it time for me to start the “Can the Men’s team catch the Women’s in wins even though they play three times as many games” bit?  Here are the “highlights”:

On the last game of Friday night/Saturday morning, the Fremantle Dockers hosted the St. Kilda Saints.  The home-field advantage is truly back in Perth as both Fremantle and West Coast combined have only dropped one game as hosts combined.  I, of course, don’t count the Derby.  The Saints were game in the 3rd quarter, but it was too much to overcome.  Apparently, the person in charge of uploading videos to YouTube is a Saints fan as there was no highlights video uploaded.  Just as well.

Come North American Saturday night, there were two games left.  In the first, the North Melbourne Kangaroos played extremely well against the reigning champs and had an outside shot at stealing the win.  However, two big misses on set shots for Ben Brown doomed the Roos.  The final margin was 10 in a game they could have taken.  Highlights:

In the second game, the Collingwood Magpies managed only 5 goals against the Geelong Cats and fell by 21.  It was ugly, but it was a win.  Highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 Richmond Tigers 7 1 0 28 149.5
2 West Coast Eagles 7 1 0 28 134.0
3 Geelong Cats 5 3 0 20 123.1
4 Adelaide Crows 5 3 0 20 120.7
5 Hawthorn Hawks 5 3 0 20 117.6
6 Melbourne Demons 5 3 0 20 113.2
7 Sydney Swans 5 3 0 20 106.6
8 Port Adelaide Power 5 3 0 20 102.7
9 GWS Giants 4 3 1 18 110.5
10 North Melbourne Kangaroos 4 4 0 16 112.6
11 Collingwood Magpies 4 4 0 16 102.1
12 Fremantle Dockers 4 4 0 16 94.3
13 Western Bulldogs 4 4 0 16 82.9
14 Gold Coast Suns 3 5 0 12 76.1
15 Essendon Bombers 2 6 0 8 83.9
16 St. Kilda Saints 1 6 1 6 69.4
17 Carlton Blues 1 7 0 4 69.6
18 Brisbane Lions 0 8 0 0 73.7

The Blues leave the Lions as the only team without a win this year while twelve teams are all bunched up and separated only by 4 points and percentage.  Nothing is set yet.


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round 8:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 SonOfSpam 5 23 51 225
2 Sunrisesunrise 6 14 51 241
3 WhyEaglesWhy 6 21 49 231
4 Spanky Datass 5 7 49 241
5 Joliet Jake Delhomme 5 34 48 264
6 BALLS 4 20 47 295
7 Litre_cola 4 14 46 223
8 Dolph Ucker 6 16 44 343
9 BFC 5 21 41 250
10 nomonkeyfun 5 17 38 229
11 JPF 4 31 35 289
12 blaxabbath 5 8 34 241
13 Sharkbait 5 8 32 284
14 Game Time Decision 4 2 26 326

It is still a tight competition and the top spot is up for grabs. Two peeps forgot to put the tips in, so you know what that means!



AFL Round 9

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, May 18, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Adelaide Crows v Western Bulldogs at Adelaide Oval

Two straight games at Adelaide Oval for the Crows but they’ll want to make up for this week’s Showdown loss.

8:45 PM – North Melbourne Kangaroos v GWS Giants at Blundstone Arena in Tasmania

I would ordinarily say that the Giants have a chance to get back in rhythm, but the game is in Tasmania and the Roos play really well there.

10:10 PM – Gold Coast Suns v Port Adelaide Power at Adelaide Arena at Jiangwan Stadium in Shanghai, China

Yup, for the second straight season, the Suns and Power meet in China to try to sell the game to the billions with a B.

11:35 PM  – Essendon Bombers v Geelong Cats at the MCG

The Bombers just lost to the Blues.  What does that tell you?

Saturday,  May 19, 2018

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – Sydney Swans v Fremantle Dockers at the SCG

Can you believe how badly the Swans suck at the SCG?  It makes absolutely no sense.

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – St. Kilda Saints v Collingwood Magpies at Etihad Stadium

If you think Carlton is bad, you clearly haven’t seen the Saints play. The pressure is mounting and I would not be surprised if there is a midseason firing here.

8:10 PM – Carlton Blues v Melbourne Demons at the MCG

Boy, it must be nice to be a Blues fan and taste victory once again!  Too bad two in a row seems a bit much to ask for…

10:20 PM – Brisbane Lions v Hawthorn Hawks at the Gabba

The poor Lions just can’t buy a win.  They have played well all year, but just come up short in crunch time.  I’m not sure how they beat Hawthorn, even at home.

11:40 PM – West Coast Eagles v Richmond Tigers at Optus Stadium

This will, no doubt, be the Match of the Round.  #1 v #2 in the new Perth stadium.  Too bad it’s so late at night…


That’s all for this week.  I do apologize as real life got in the way the last two weeks but, again, thank you to tWBS for filling in last week!  Ballsy out!



International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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King Hippo

git yer spoon outta here!!


The Showdown was a roller coaster ride. The best part was walking into my Crows-fan infested workplace on Monday!



Senor Weaselo

I sincerely hope you have a pair of Groucho Marx glasses and wear them around every once in a while to fuck with people’s heads.

Game Time Decision

I assume that the glasses are how DFO-er’s find each other when out and about


The Giants being ravaged by injuries is like saying the Houston 500 was a threesome video.


Waiting for my phone call from St. Kilda. A 6’2 42 year old can put out a better display than what the saints are doing this year. Thank jeebus Brizzy was so bad.