Your “Whaddya Mean It’s Not Human?” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Julian Edelman is apologizing for his failed test, but no one is certain what he tested positive for.
    • The League is having the sample retested, as the positive came as a result of a substance that wasn’t immediately recognizable, and there are scientists analyzing it.
    • Meanwhile, he can still practice with the team, but – pending appeal – won’t be able to play until Week 5.
    • Thing I didn’t know:
      • offseason use of stimulants falls under the substances of abuse policy, rather than the PED policy.
  • Earl Thomas is not going to attend Seattle’s minicamp.
    • He wants a contract extension first.
  • Stealing from Crimeneat!
    • CJ2K was arrested in Tampa for punching a valet outside a club in Tampa & is facing battery charges.
      • The argument was over keys; the effect will likely keep him from getting signed for 2018 until it’s resolved.

Tonight might be light content-wise from us here at DFO, and just baseball-wise from the networks, but we’ve got a big week planned. Aside from our usual series of continuing serials,

  • WCS will anchor our US Open coverage with open threads starting Thursday & running through the weekend.
    • Yes? Through the weekend, so Beerguy can get time-off from the Content Mines?
  • A rotating coterie of experts will host our World Cup Open Threads.
    • Don’t forget that we have a World Cup pool, with an alleged prize for the winner.
      • Join the fun here. The password is “balls”.

So there’s fun galore at your favourite football & dick joke site this week, despite the fact that there’s almost nothing on.

DFO – delivering cromulence & embiggening the masses since…2015?


Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Jays at Rays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Cubs at Brewers – 8:00PM | MLBN
    • NCAA Tournament:
      • Game 3: South Carolina at Arkansas – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Game 3: Auburn at Florida – 8:30PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the RAW “go-home” show before “Money In The Bank” this Sunday from Chicago.
  • Random shit stolen from the Japanese:
    • American Ninja Warrior – 8:00PM | NBC (East & West)
      • All-Stars Special: The fastest, strongest and most impressive athletes from the show compete head-to-head on the National Finals course.
  • Food Porn:
    • Best Baker in America – 9:00PM | Food Network
      • Old-School Classics – The four remaining bakers have to make Mont Blanc cakes during the skills challenge, which are tarts topped with a tower of chestnut paste. Then, the bakers have to make a Charlotte Royale cake, including peanut butter as the featured flavor.

Oh, I apologize. There isn’t just shit on tonight, IT’S MANUFACTURED SHIT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I got distracted by WWII docs. Guadalcanal wasn’t fun. Certainly less fun than Dolores, Maeve and Clementine. And maybe old William’s daughter will get naked eventually.

So why am I watching this documentary again?

Senor Weaselo

Things go boom?

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is not untrue.

King Hippo

And now the Small Bears are ahead! Even if it kept ya out of the Hall, Charlie Hustle, I can see why you liked betting el beisbol so much!

theeWeeBabySeamus

To be fair…

He’s also an asshole nobody likes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait, so am I.

DAMMIT!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really need to do a re-watch on KITH.

Senor Weaselo

I do! Anyone besides Senor? …I do!
https://youtu.be/V8p69zMB0z8

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL