5th year Pro Bowl cornerback for That Team That Moved, Jason Verrett, suffered a torn ACL on the very first day of training camp which will cause him to miss the entire 2018 season. Some are suggesting that the team may be cursed, given their year over year injury history, which has already claimed Hunter Henry earlier this May. I personally cannot think of any man, woman or inter-dimensional being of horror who would put a hex or some kind of blood curse upon the team, and neither can Dean Spanos, wondering to himself “What did I ever do to deserve this?”
Following the injury, a sound witnesses have only described as “femur drums” was heard faintly from the South.
[…] Your colleague should be strung up by the ear lobes and forced to listen to a loop of Kenny G and William Hung. If they know they’re doing it, they’re a monster. If they don’t, they’re an idiot and a waste of our collective air. Irrespective of the likelihood you’re dead inside, it’s socially unacceptable and morally wrong. You could be nice and say “hey, I don’t know if you’re aware, but you hum and sing a lot while you’re working, and it’s really distracting, any chance you could try and keep it down?” But the next step may be femur drums. […]
Time to start suiting up the Carson construction workers.
It’s not some kind of mystery or curse. I believe I have been very explicit about why these things keep happening.
THE DAY APPROACHES WHEN BOLTMAN FULFILLS HIS DESTINY OF DESTROYING THE SPANOS CLAN, ONE BY ONE, UNTIL THE STREETS OF LOS ANGELES FLOW WITH THEIR BLOOD