We’re gonna get through this quickly, class, because I don’t have much to talk about this week.
OK, ok…settle down, class. Hmmm….let’s see…
Southwest Airlines still sucks. Check.
St. Louis’ Lambert International Airport is still a shithole and should be razed from the planet. Check.
And California still has legal weed (I should know, I’m smoking some of it as I type this….no shit). Check-check-checkity-check.
Funny how that last bit makes everything else tolerable, huh?
And psssst…. Don’t tell anyone, but remember a few weeks ago when I more or less killed TGISF but then also said that some Fridays would still be a little sexy? Well this is one of those Fridays. And there’s not even going to be any theme to it. Just whatever I find and/or stumble upon this morning which alters my bloodflow….so to speak.
IT’S ANARCHY UP IN HERE!!!!!!!!!
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DFO This Week
So many Employee of the Week candidates this week. Let’s get to it.
BallsofSteelandFury kept up his tireless work down under.
No, I meant the other thing down under. Early in the week, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly gave us possibly the best playlist in recent memory from DFO Radio, and then followed it up earlier today with a DFO Request Line theme which might immediately rival last week’s list. And The Maestro and Senor Weaselo continued anchoring Thursday Daytime as only they can.
Low Commander, Yeah Right and Blaxabbath divvied up the week’s Open Thread duties until BeerCanRoberto finally wandered back into the clubhouse last night. He looked confused and smelled bad. But since the rest of us are all lazy pukes, we parked his ass in front of a keyboard…PRONTO!!!!!
But perhaps the highlight of the week came when Dad, our very own Darkest Timeline Zack Morris , finally came back home from going out to get cigarettes six years ago.
Welcome home, Dad!!!! We missed ya!!!!!! Why is Mommy crying??????
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Tonight’s Sports
I’m at a bit of a loss here tonight. Normally at home, I use my on screen guide to surf through and see what’s on. And while I like this hotel overall, the lack of an on screen guide on their TeeVee Systuhms was almost a deal breaker.
But I digress…
Let’s see what the interwebz have to say. Anything I miss, you can probably just turn on your TV and use YOUR on screen guides anyway. YA THINK YA BETTAH THAN ME??????
MLB
- TEX at HOU – 8:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
- CHC at STL – 8:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
Yup, that’s it. I’m not searching anymore.
Not my proudest moment. Meh…next time I better pick a hotel with an on screen guide.
But on the plus side, the bar is open. So let’s put this to bed, shall we?
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Just A Little Sexy
No rhyme nor reason.
Enjoy…
There ya go. A little “mini-Sexy”. And no, that is NOT what I call my penis. Nor has anyone else. Ever. As far as you know.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Love ya’s.
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Apologies if someone mentioned this already, but it is SO FUCKING DUMB. NCAA athletes are amateurs right? Students first so that’s why it’s totally cool not to pay them, and they’re getting a valuable education in compensation for the thing that’s totally not a job, right? So how the fuck can people spout that line then write shit like this?
https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/why-stanford-star-bryce-loves-absence-from-pac-12-media-day-sets-a-dangerous-precedent/
Because they’re full of shit, that’s why. Kind of like those dorkus malorkus’ that say that kneeling for the anthem disrespects the troops, but have never contributed a dime to soldiers’ charities.
(I know it’s football season because you’re back. Welcome back, Zymn!)
Note to self, use the phrase ‘dorkus malorkus’ more often
I know that from somewhere.
Where do I know that from?
https://youtu.be/M3fAl33bnEk
Colleges make millions off of players and the players (not just the play; their image, jerseys, etc.) are risking their health for an education that may be worthless. The NCAA needs to change the rules. It is a job in the big schools; they are working for a huge business.
The article is a piece of shit; assholes clutching pearls. Leave the guy the fuck alone.
Counterpoint, look how much more college grads make over THEIR LIFETIME.
Nah i’m Just kidding. It takes a special people to execute the leadership of such a directly unjust system of which the defense of its existence is a false reality.
Now excuse me while I check to see if Khalil Tate is starting the year on the Heismen list….
And now, ways to have an entire string orchestra mock you. Today’s way is to be outside in the bar/restaurant they frequent after rehearsal and tell your lady friend, “Tell me how I ridiculed you.”
We’re actually all kind of assholes.
To be fair, we ridicule you here constantly, we’re your imaginary friends, and we’re all assholes.
This is true.
/Obviously I was in the string orchestra group, mocking some other dude.
//I look forward to your “I should’ve swooped in” comments!
Being mocked by an orchestra vs being ridiculed?
What do they call that kind of self fulfilling prophecy?
You ever think about the PTSD Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog’s day must go through after the film ends? Dude relived the same day every day for decades. You gotta think everyday he wakes up, in sheer terror that the day is being replayed again. And going from essentially a god to being back to his normal self has got to bring on sheer depression.
So Bill Murray and Rita’s child is God?
That’s a wild theory
Same
So close, yet so far…
What’s the red stuff on the straw?
SPICE; I assume cayenne, salt, peeper, etc. There was a place I used to go to that rolled the straw in spice mix so as you drank and ice melted it would still remain hot.
That’s brilliant!
Didn’t work like that at home.
Spice?
Yes, it is addictive.
“Adddictive? Count me in! So…what are we talking about, anyhow?” – Ryan Leaf
The extra D is for extra susceptibility to addiction.
It’s chamoy. It is spicy, but also sweet.
Not what I had.
I, for one, have no right to judge this person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygzc9wONU0M&ab_channel=IgnacioMoreno
This will never not be hilarious.
Just watched the Tampa “pitcher”, (Carlos Gomez)” balk on two straight pitches to give up a run.
that’s some kind of assdick ump, calling balks on the 4th OF coming in for mercy rule time
I tend to agree. My son, however, who pitched at a high level*, said that every ball he threw was technically a balk.
*high level=shitty high school team
“Yeah, so?” -Andy Pettitte (or most lefties if they do it right, let’s be honest)’s pickoff move
/As a lefty, speaking from experience
It’s the van.
My van is bigger.
5 September, dickholes!
official Sunny the 13th Glorious Premiere Date!!
When the peyote kicks in.
Apparently Trix are indeed for kids.
Elmo is totes fucking that kid, too.
He does love tickles.
That’s a good pitch to look at right there for strike 3. 95 mph fastball right over the plate. Hardly ever gets called.
the #BFIB have a really bitchin’ DH to send youse Bombers. Since they won’t let us play a DH.
go quietly in order, Small Bears. THIS MUST DO.
Happy Friday fuckers. This week has sucked, this weekend is going to involve two days of work and next week is going to suck.
Tonight, however, we drink.
A toast: FUCK EVERYTHING
We who are about to throw up into a toilet, salute you!
Into a toilet!? Is the Queen coming over tomorrow?
OK, that was good.
Also; “WUT??!”
-my dog
Is that Skunk Baxter?
This was a fun rabbithole:
http://www.superdickery.com/tag/superman-is-a-dick/page/53/
Heaven help me, I think I’m going to like that movie.
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/fe52eb597420d680e29d68ef20e37c92/tumblr_n1gtrsjmp51stevp2o1_400.jpg
Well it finally happened. “The Last Jedi” is starting to ruin “The Force Awakens” for me. It had issues, but I could overlook them. But much like Lightspeed Ramming and Outrunning a Ship at Sublight Speeds and Tracking a Ship at Lightspeed, I just realized…
The Starkiller Base, sorry I’m calling it want it is, the Death Star Planet can create a beam that can destroy an entire solar system. That means that beams can travel at FTL speeds and keep the force to destroy a planet when it reaches the destination. Also, Newton’s Third Law says for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. The amount of force needed to send the beams that distance with enough force to one-shot a planet should’ve pushed Death Star Planet off its axis or it should’ve blow up the planet. At the very least, everyone on the surface should’ve died from the force of the blast.
Oh, it was created by draining a sun? Okay, lets assume you can draw power from a star like its a light bulb and harness it without turning Death Star Planet into Death Star Planet Star. What happens to a star when it loses its energy? Using our star as a template, when Sol ages it will expand into a Red Giant. This will occur over the course of five million years. Based on this they are doing this on a matter of days. Hopefully you’ll accomplish your goals before you run out of stars or trigger a supernova and die in the shockwave.
Oh, you’re base can move? You can move the planet. Let me type that again: You can move the planet. Let’s forget about the approximate 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 N needed to move the planet from one system to another. We can revisit that later. But I do want to visit the talent trees that can hold its breath because without the sun, planets can’t photosynthesis, can’t breathe in CO2 and die.
Fan culture has ruined everything.
As a follow up: the critical problem with every Star Wars movie after the first one is that not a single one needed to be made as the story wrapped nicely after A New Hope and never needed a subsequent chapter.
WRONG; $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Caveat: The need I’m referring to is in terms of storytelling, not the ability of a massive corporation to exploit nostalgia to wring even more money out of us, which is also not a true need.
THEY NEED THE MONEYS!!
I can honestly say I have never seen anyone dress up their pet to look “liberal” which I will take as proof that left and right are not equivalent in their stupid wings.
Suddenly Literacy and Intelligence Tests before being able to vote doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?
You may be overthinking a space cowboy movie here, Neil Degrasse Redshirt
“Thinking”
If it makes you feel any better, it’s no better or worse than the rest of those films, which aren’t very good
One assumes every man just walks around Brasil at full mast 24/7
I think it was Tony Bourdain or someone on the show while in Brazil “Everyone here looks like they are going to have or coming from having sex.”
It was. It was in his show about Salvador in the state of Bahia.
I’ve been there. It is absolutely true.
I did.
yeah, Small Bears, see how yeeeewwww like only being able to score on solo HRs! Not much fucking fun, is it?
How dare you insult Pinky like that!
NARF
Pinky is more intelligent, well read, restrained, etc., however the relationship between the two is spot on obviously.
♫ One is a genius, the other’s insane ♫
The gist is missed again.
In fairness, they never said which one was which, because doesn’t Pinky’s plan to take over the world actually work?