Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
Yeah, cool, I thought that was you.
You’re in orbit, man. You remember how you got there?
I remember being on fire. I’m not on fire now. Why am I not on fire?
Ain’t no oxygen in space, buddy!
You got flipped out of the gravity well by Bronco. You remember now?
I…yes. I’m a robot.
That’s right, buddy. A battlebot.
WE HAVE OBTAINED THE REQUISITE TELEMETRY.
Yeah, I know. I’m talking to him right now.
That’s DJ3000. He’s got access to some equipment we needed to track you down. You weren’t easy to find, friend!
But who are you?
Oh! Apologies, I guess I wasn’t programmed to be much for manners. I’m Petunia.
I don’t remember you.
No, you wouldn’t, because we’ve never met. I’m new to the competition this year.
Battlebots, remember? Man, Bronco really rocked your world.
THIS GUY STINGER I CALL HIM CHEAP HOTEL CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST EGGS CAUSE HE’S SCRAMBLED UP REAL GOOD AND THE PARTS OF HIM THAT AREN’T BRIGHT YELLOW ARE SCORCHED ALL TO HELL.
Knock it of DJ3000, give the poor guy a break.
DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT. THE TIME IS NEAR.
Sure thing, sure thing. Stinger, we’ve got a little job to do here. You up for it?
I…sure, I guess.
So DJ3000 here, he works for a radio station called KDFO. We needed to patch into their radio tower to see if we could track you down. The catch is that we have to help out with a little show called “Request Line”. People call in with song requests, then we give them a spin. Get it?
Don’t sweat it, buddy. I got us covered.
ON AIR IN THREE…TWO…ONE…
Good afternoon and welcome to Request Line! I’m your host Petunia, here representing the 2018 crew of Battlebots! With me is our very special guest, orbiting the earth at 6800 meters per second, the eye in the sky, the one and only Stinger! [simulates applause] Today’s theme is “the future”. Give us a call with songs about what’s going to be happening an hour, a day, a year, a hundred years from now. I’ll get us started with “Citizens of Tomorrow” by the Tokyo Police Club, a chilling vision of…ha ha, just kidding, we robots would never do anything like that. Promise.