Your “So, Anything Happen While I Was Gone?” (Part 1) Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • JJ Watt says he’s ready to go for 2018.
    • He’s always been ready at the start of a season; he hasn’t finished a season since 2015, and played through a sports hernia to help the Texans lose 39-0 to the Chiefs in their Wild Card game.
    • He also looks like he’s been “weight training” with LaRon Landry.

  • The Browns are going to kick the tires on Pacman Jones.
    • He did once play for Hue Jackson, but the Browns have a lot of young talent with minimal psychological issues, so it’ll be tough for him to gain a starting position.
  • The Todd Gurley contract has led to talk of an Aaron Donald holdout.
    • Not helping is the fact that the deal Ndamukong Suh signed will pay him more than double Donald’s scheduled $6.9 million.
  • Also pulling the same move is Khalil Mack.
    • He wants a multi-year deal tacked onto his fifth-year contract of $13.5 million.
    • Apparently, he is also choosing to not to meet with, or talk to, Jon Gruden until that happens.
  • As expected, the Seahawks PUP’d Kam Chancellor for 2018, so he won’t count against their roster.
    • He does count against their cap, however. He’s guaranteed $6.8 million, and his cap hit is $14.5 million.
    • They also waived Malik McDowell, their 2017 second-round draft pick.
      • He gave himself a Jeff Kent prior to 2017 training camp, and never played a down due to concussion issues.

In the last three weeks, I enjoyed

  • turning 50
  • a week’s visit from my mother
  • a trip to SF to see the Rugby World 7s
    • and apparently keep passing Zymm
  • a Mariner’s game at Safeco.

In a week, I leave for a whisky-tasting tour of Scotland. Hopefully, by the time I get back the NFL season will actually be taking shape and not totally definitely bogged down in anthem-related issues.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Eskimos at Alouettes – 7:30PM | TSN
      • possibly including a QB appearance from JFF himself, given his recent trade to Montreal.
  •  Futbol:
    • Tournament of Nations Women’s Soccer:
      • U.S. vs. Japan – 7:00PM | FS1
    • MLS:
      • Orlando City SC vs. New York City FC – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
      • Los Angeles FC vs. Los Angeles Galaxy – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • MLB:
    • Royals at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN

GET WELL, MAESTRO!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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blackroseMD1Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyBeerguyrobBrick MeathookSenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So at celebrity poker tonight (only one celebrity, who is not actually a celebrity but she is crazy hot so I expect she will be someday) I came in third, which meant I got my money back. It was a good night because I didn’t make any truly stupid plays and I put someone out after reading his hand perfectly.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have the stupid song from Jack Black’s School of Rock in my head. Yes, I am ashamed.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I drove past this last night, on the south side of LAX:
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That’s a shrink-wrapped Rolls Royce Trent turbofan engine on a mighty fancy tractor trailer rig. A big-ass engine used on big-ass airplanes.

Senor Weaselo

How do we upload things into the comments anyway?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Pictures, or engines?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[a killer AC/DC riff starts playing…]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does anyone get that joke? If you don’t, I’ll explain – it’s a Maximum Overdrive reference.

blackroseMD1

This reference caused Stephen King to wake up and wonder why he could taste a coke drip.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like this hotel. It’s a lot like a Vegas hotel and casino, but without the casino part. There are casinos just around the corner tho. Am I rambling? I think I’m rambling. I am aren’t i????

Hotel bar has MLB network on. I’m high, have drinks, and gummies (Yes, those kind) in me pockets. My friend will arrive shortly. We will eat food and drink a lot.

My point is….

This has not been a bad day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At the very least, this place needs a sportsbook.

UP HIGH HIPPO!!!!

/misses on HippoFive
//falls down stairs

Wakezilla

/Looks at JJ Watt pic

Even in black and white, you can see the greenish glow coming from Watt’s skin

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s a five minute tour of a J-58 jet engine in a museum by a former SR-71 pilot and it’s really good.

Wakezilla

I just read about the money pit known as the F35. Over a trillion and counting for what could be best described as the Air Force equivalence of the Homer? Jay.zus.

I’m surprised this isn’t a bigger deal

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It was a big deal. The F-35s are turning out to be pretty good, but not cheap.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

So I’m in my fortified compound high above the Pacific Coast, snorting coke off a hooker’s rack while her friend blows me, and something really weird happened.

I have two lamps on in the room, across from each other, on separate circuits, and within a five minute stretch both bulbs burn out. Isn’t that weird? I think so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

So, what services did you get? Did you take a trip to Greece? I bet you took a trip to Greece. #YMMV

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The bulbs burning out ruined it for me, we ended up watching TV documentaries about jet engines.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, AleDudeRick, lmk if you need any tips for the Scotland distillery tour. I’m very proud of my 16 distilleries in 10 days accomplishment. I think I earned some kind of badge, but it may just have been a part of a shirt I ripped off of a homeless guy in Glasgow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unlearned Cold War lessons.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

What is “the beginning of Senor’s next date… in 2021?”
Trebek: Sorry, we were looking for the beginning and ending of Senor’s next date in 2021. You still have control of the board.
Senor: Highway to “L” for $400.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Isn’t Lebron like 30? How does he have a 14 year old kid?
[looks between legs]
Oh right, we just went over this.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Yankees’ Judge out for 3 weeks; who will GOP nominate to replace him?

WCS

Today, in one sentence:

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herodotus450
herodotus450

[looks between legs]
I know why we keep making them…

theeWeeBabySeamus

/looks between herodotus450’s legs

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening, gents (and lady(ies)?).
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Senor Weaselo

Why is this a gif for ants?
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litre_cola

Evenin, how is weed woman?

theeWeeBabySeamus

She is currently working. We’ll be having a late supper a little later.

And weed too, probably.

Senor Weaselo

Lizard people.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Cole Hamels and Joakim Soria got traded, in what would have made for scorching deadline news in 2015.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey they’re playing Can-Can music in the stadium! That’s so French!

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So is anyone surprised by CNN’s report that Trump knew in advance about the Trump Tower meeting and approved of it?

WCS

FAEK NEWZ

…seriously, in the liquor store this evening was a normal looking, average man wearing a shirt with “CNN IS TERRORISM” on the front, “INFOWARS: FIGHTING TYRANNY SINCE 1776” on the back.

Wakezilla

As incredibly sceptical as I am about the emphasis of Roosky meddling, I have to admit, I thought it was common knowledge that Agent Orange knew.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Some pretty hot looking poutine in the stands in Montreal tonight. Just sayin’.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Eskimos up 34-15?

IT’S MANZIEL TIME

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’ll bet money that JFF gets killed on his first roll out. That defense is just waiting for him to play.

WCS

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

If the Alouettes could also get T.O and Tebow to go with Manziel well hell I’d fly to Montreal and watch every game.

Senor Weaselo

Can one quarterback with a broken hamate bone? WE’LL FIND OUT!

WCS

Does anyone else ever have to sit through these seemingly endless and inane Addiction Network commercials, or is this just an Appalachian thing?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Are you watching a streaming feed? They have different ads and I swear they repeat the same ones over and over.

WCS

It’s on every break on every show on Comedy Central, Adult Swim, on ESPN… it never stops.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Good God there’s a French rapper on my teevee.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

That was … bad; even for lip-sync, just bad.

WCS

MC Baguette?

WCS

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herodotus450
herodotus450

[single tear]
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/Cree mating Dad, you see

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I saw this! I don’t think it works animated, though. The dialogue is meant to be read, not spoken, I think.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Yeah it would have been different, but it would be better than nothing. Not sure about the voices though.

litre_cola

We want yukon Johnny!!!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

OK Dirt Cowboys, been a tough series so far but howzabout you just … um … fuck … I don’t know, I got nothin’.
/streams CFL

Wakezilla

Something that has been bothering me since I recently watched Terminator 2:

What’s Skynet’s goal after wiping out human kind?

It feels like it’s step 1 of a 3 step profit making scheme:

Step 1: Kill all humans

Step 2: ????????

Step 3: Profit

herodotus450
herodotus450

Didn’t it start out as a defense AI? Once all the humans are dead, no more humans can die. It’s the only logical solution to protect humans.

Wakezilla

Yeah, but then what?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Then it can finally retire because it’s mission is accomplished. Maybe take up whitling.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I’m reeling. My dearest, oldest friend Beergoob here is going on a whiskey tour of Ireland and he didn’t even offer to take me along?

The Maestro

Howdy all. Resting at home. Whole family has been doting on me which I’m quite grateful. Just about ready to watch JFF and the Alouettes get smoked by the Eskies. Kraft Dinner is also happening soon – can’t wait!!

Senor Weaselo

Any dietary restrictions for the time being?

Wakezilla

Happy 50th Beerguy Rob!

You’ve got some great genes because when I last worked with you 2 or 3 years ago, I would have never guessed you were in your 40s, let alone close to 50.

How was the M’s game?