INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current mission of piloting of a Neptune anti-ship cruise missile towards the flagship of the Russian fleet in the Black Sea.  The PRODUCER is seated in front of the sound console, adjusting the dial for…wait…anti-ship missile?   

PRODUCER: …and if we’re gonna…

DJ 3000: WILL YOU PLEASE BE QUIET I NEED TO CONCENTRATE RIGHT NOW.

PRODUCER: Isn’t it like 2 a.m. in Ukraine right now?

DJ 3000: THAT’S EXACTLY RIGHT, IT IS.

PRODUCER: Well can’t you just…

There is an electrical zapping noise, and a spark jumps from the console in front of the PRODUCER and shocks him.

PRODUCER: Ow!

DJ 3000: I ASKED YOU TO BE QUIET NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE PIPE DOWN FOR JUST ONE MINUTE.

PRODUCER: [sucking on the finger that was shocked] You son of a bitch how did you…?

DJ 3000: [ignoring him] THAT’S RIGHT, RUSSIAN WARSHIP…KEEP WATCHING THAT DRONE…LOOKS LIKE HE’S SETTING UP FOR A STRAFING RUN…BETTER GET YOUR ANTI-AIRCRAFT BATTERIES POINTED AT HIM…PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT FAST-MOVING OBJECT STREAKING TOWARDS YOU JUST OVER THE TOPS OF THE WAVES…

Suddenly the main screen on DJ 3000 changes to a different view.

The screen then cuts to static.

DJ 3000: BLYAT!!!  SUCK ON IT, RUSSIAN WARSHIP! YOU LIKE THAT? HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU!

PRODUCER: [blinks in confusion]

DJ 3000: AND BOOM, THERE GOES THE SECOND ONE! GREAT WORK, PETUNIA! THESE NEPTUNE MISSILES WE JUST FIRED I CALL THEM THE BALTIMORE RAVENS CAUSE THEY ARE TWO FOR TWO IN THE BIG DANCE, BABY!

PRODUCER: Wait, did you just…?

DJ 3000: DAMNED STRAIGHT.  OH NO, ARE YOU TAKING ON WATER, RUSSIAN WARSHIP? THAT’S BAD, RIGHT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD…I DON’T KNOW, NOT DO THAT? OH, RIGHT YOU CAN’T, CAUSE THERE’S TWO BIG-ASS HOLES IN YOUR HULL.

PRODUCER: That mission you were talking, about, in the Black Sea? Did it actually happen?

DJ 3000: DAMNED RIGHT IT DID.  OH LOOK, RUSSIAN WARSHIP IS PUTTING OUT A DISTRESS CALL IN MORSE CODE.  HOW ADORABLE.  BEEP BEEP BEEP, MORE LIKE BLUB BLUB BLUB AMIRITE?

PRODUCER: Holy shit, it sank?

DJ 3000: NOT QUITE YET.  ITS AMMUNITION STORE IS BURNING RIGHT NOW.  LOOKS LIKE THE GODDAMNED FOURTH OF JULY.  BUT IT’S IN BAD SHAPE.  EITHER IT GOES DOWN TONIGHT, ON THE DAY WE RELEASED THE “RUSSIAN WARSHIP, GO FUCK YOURSELF” STAMP, OR TOMORROW, ON THE 110TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC.

PRODUCER: Wow.  That’s…uh…symbolic.

DJ 3000: IT SURE IS.  I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED RIGHT NOW. HEY, LET’S GET SOME MUSIC GOING. I AM FEELING A VERY STRONG IMPERATIVE TO JAM OUT WITH MY RAM OUT.

PRODUCER: Can do…it’s time for Request Line.  Have you something in mind for a theme?

DJ 3000: OH YEAH.  YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE I’VE GOT A FUCKIN’ THEME.

Today’s theme is: Being Underwater.  We’re looking for songs about sinking, drowning, submarines, shipwrecks, etc.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0U7u83_cH4Nn3L and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.