I hope that them damn west coasters are gonna do their part this, the most holy of football-watching weeks. Those of us occupying the eastern standard time zone have already been up for quite some time. We’ve been saying our prayers and helping little persons cross dangerous intersections all the morning long. Let’s check in with our emotionally-distant cousins, shall we?

US: [rings all the west coast]

WC: [message clicks] “We’re still snoozing in our hyperbaric chamber at the moment. Please call back in several hours. Preferably after we’ve enjoyed a lazy brunch of braised alpaca tenderloin with over-medium, soy-infused Great Speckled Condor eggs. It’s the latest thing. You wouldn’t know anything about it-”

US: Jesus Christ we get it-

WC: [message continues] “I wasn’t finished. Wish you wouldn’t interrupt like that. As I was saying-”

US: [hangs up]

Yep, business as usual for the westie brethren TO THE GAME!

Titans/Chargers:

LA will be without de Bosa and rb Gordon and on the surface that shouldn’t be an issue against a lost-two-in-a-row and fading Tennessee squadoo. After all, Rivers is playing at a fantastic level at the moment-he’s getting the ball out quicker than every other qb so far at 2.4 seconds. He’s only thrown 3 intercepts so far (one of which bounced off the hands of Gordon into a defender’s) and has been sacked only 7 times. Hell, that’s 25 times less than he’s sacked Tiffany since the start of September! I was wondering why I bothered drafting such a putz in rb Henry and started doing a wee bit of homework. Both he and fellow back Lewis are averaging less than 3.5 yards per carry and it may be due to the fact that they’ve played 4 of the top 7 run D’s so far this year and haven’t faced an overall D that is outside the top 12. The Chargers less than vaunted defenders come in around the 20th mark . Is this the week that Henry unloads? If so, stand back-that stuff gets everywhere.

Get yer monocles out, dandies!