I hope that them damn west coasters are gonna do their part this, the most holy of football-watching weeks. Those of us occupying the eastern standard time zone have already been up for quite some time. We’ve been saying our prayers and helping little persons cross dangerous intersections all the morning long. Let’s check in with our emotionally-distant cousins, shall we?
US: [rings all the west coast]
WC: [message clicks] “We’re still snoozing in our hyperbaric chamber at the moment. Please call back in several hours. Preferably after we’ve enjoyed a lazy brunch of braised alpaca tenderloin with over-medium, soy-infused Great Speckled Condor eggs. It’s the latest thing. You wouldn’t know anything about it-”
US: Jesus Christ we get it-
WC: [message continues] “I wasn’t finished. Wish you wouldn’t interrupt like that. As I was saying-”
US: [hangs up]
Yep, business as usual for the westie brethren TO THE GAME!
Titans/Chargers:
LA will be without de Bosa and rb Gordon and on the surface that shouldn’t be an issue against a lost-two-in-a-row and fading Tennessee squadoo. After all, Rivers is playing at a fantastic level at the moment-he’s getting the ball out quicker than every other qb so far at 2.4 seconds. He’s only thrown 3 intercepts so far (one of which bounced off the hands of Gordon into a defender’s) and has been sacked only 7 times. Hell, that’s 25 times less than he’s sacked Tiffany since the start of September! I was wondering why I bothered drafting such a putz in rb Henry and started doing a wee bit of homework. Both he and fellow back Lewis are averaging less than 3.5 yards per carry and it may be due to the fact that they’ve played 4 of the top 7 run D’s so far this year and haven’t faced an overall D that is outside the top 12. The Chargers less than vaunted defenders come in around the 20th mark . Is this the week that Henry unloads? If so, stand back-that stuff gets everywhere.
Get yer monocles out, dandies!
Six and a half points is a breeze, he said. Take the Chargers to cover, he said.
Shit.
I bet them vs the spread when Gordon was only “dehydrated “. Fuck everything.
After the penalty could they have just kicked an extra point from the 2? Or would they had to have gone back to the 15?
Aw Titans. It’s bounces like these that portend a 7-9 season for you rather than a 9-7 season.
ENtirely theoretical Chargers fans are livid right now.
EDIT: I hate when the joke in my head doesn’t match what actually happens.
Vrabel, further proof the Belichick Coaching Tree is the very, very worst.
COngraduations Chargers…THIS IS YOUR SUPER BOWL!
Exotic Smashmouf!
“There’s your drama.”
-Edward Albee
Anyone wanna explain that decision to me?
31 seconds on the clock. “WE WILL EXTEND THE GAME FOR ONE MORE PLAY. POSSIBLY A 31 SECOND PLAY”
Fuck you Shitty Clippers you no covering shit stains. Just lose outright. Fuck.
yes, they have forced me to close my money league fantasy side score window entirely, the jammy fucks
Smart move taking the timeout to keep the clock at 0:35.
NAWT A TUDDY
To be fair, I’m pretty sure we don’t get CBS on the west coast.
Great run by Dion.
c’mon, strip sack TD!!
I thought LAC would be up 31-10 by now & id only have to worry about a back door cover by the tits. Aint gamblin’ a hoot?
hee hee!
This has 23-20 bolts written AAAAALLLL over it.
There goes the money.
The local news just informed me that local punk legend Joey Shithead from DOA got elected to Burnaby city council last night
THAT IS AMAZING!!!!?
FUCK. I realize I now officially like the stupid cat that my oldest kid has more or less dumped at my house. Fortunately, Kruger Adams (existing cat) has already come to same begrudging conclusion.
5×5
My pain in the arse kitty came in and listened to music with me today. She likes music.
RHCP is her favorite (she likes Flea’s bass lines), but today it was The Who. Kitty has good taste.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx6Zgz0TZuA
She likes fleas?
Actually, no. She got a bad case a coupla years ago because one of my dumbass relatives brought their flea bitten mutt here on July 4th. Almost drove her batshit crazy. It would have driven me batshit crazy too, but I was already there by then.
Took almost a year to get it controlled.
The joke; it fail.
NOONAN!
Stop this fucking drive dammit!
COVER LIVES!!
I wonder if other schools (or maybe even pro teams) might start getting their own version of Purdue Cancer Guy in order to generate sympathy and ratings. Hell, as much as ABC milked it last night, they’re probably having meetings right now to scheme out how to infect fans with mortal diseases.
I’d pretend to have cancer if NC State would actually do sommet substantial!
I pretend to have morbid obesity to support my team, only problem is I’m not pretending and 75% of my fellow fans have it too so it doesn’t generate much sympathy.
U noe likey 34 pt losses?
That thing on your face could be a tumor.
ur lips 2 zuul’s ears!!
Whoa whoa whoa. That friended by god show is real? That is fucking awful.
JESUS FUCKING H. CHRIST HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??
JK; agreed.
I’m convinced the same company makes all the political graphics for both parties
Quite the nuanced, detailed and unbiased guide.
In my mind, Kansas is littered with these with different PAC logos in the middle as everyone just nods at it and votes for the one they were voting for anyway
Yes. Very few actually look at the consequences. Kansas is a great example.
If someday Obamacare is recognized as a “good thing” then you just know the republitards will go back to calling it the ACA and how brave it was for Boehner to approve of it.
Catch?
There Is No Catch
Only Zuul
Jesus. Antonio Gates looks like Bernie Mac.
He’s had to listen to Marmalard for a lotta years.
What is a proper sacrifice to BOLTMAN? I require his services.
How much sinew you got lying around?
Cord, cord & a half.
A certain Commander of the Low would appreciate it if you’d kill off one more of the Spanos clan.
And me and Fozz would be happy for you to take an Irsay out, as well.
Derrick Henry? Why is that name familiar?
“London Bridge? Reminds me of high school.”
— Brett Kavanaugh
FUCK YOU DERECK HENRY YOU FUCK. YOU HAVE BEEN KING USELESS ALL FUCKING YEAR.
A Henry TD! GAWD!
I almost want to go down to the hotel bar and ask them to change the tv to the NFL game.
It would piss off everyone, but I have been staying here for like 3 weeks, so I think they would do it for me since I am a cash cow for the hotel.
So is Mariotta into bust territory yet? It seems like he holds onto the ball and gives up easy sacks. But in his defense, his O-lone is suspect and they don’t seem to have anything in the way of reliable targets for him.
Is he regressing? It seems to me like he is really regressing.
Has he changed all that much? He seems like he’s a perpetual 7-9 to 9-7 guy.
So TEN to sign both Mariota and Fischer to lifetime contracts?
Fischer can’t get another contract ever again right? I mean LA’s turnaround has to show he was totally inept…
Oh wait…he is a gruff, no nonsense white guy. He will get a job next season…
I mean its super hard to tell. It just seems like he is a bit gun shy. Like he is terrified of making a mistake and it didn’t seem like his first season.
I don’t think he has a decent supporting cast at all. I also think he hasn’t had the best offensive coordinators.
It’s known as the Tannehill corollary.
Will TEN resign Mariota or let him walk?
let him walk and Cowboys need to jump on that. Force Dak to perform or hit the bench.
I keep thinking its halftime because of the lack of commercials. Its exhausting because I keep thinking the game is almost over.
If Tennessee doesn’t score here, it pretty much is.
How the hell does CBS have two games between NFC teams today? Did they restructure the broadcasting rights again?
they call it “Cross Flexing”
I need to send this pic to the guy in my money league who is playing as Hot Jesus
Because they lost the Chiefs game to the flex.
Very excited I dropped Mike Williams this week in a desperate attempt to actually have two RBs this week.
Very, very excited.
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
oh u noe Fronk gon’ drank
Carolina vs. Philly today is the national early game. Owns so much living in the 5 square blocks area that’s getting Detroit-Miami instead.
Titans also playing like the Argos.
Is Arians calling this?
Bruce Arians looks like the kid at church who doesn’t like wearing his Sunday suit.
Question to ponder: Does Trent Green know what country he’s in?
Who’s Trent Green?
Only after he wakes up in hospital because he looked the wrong way crossing the street.
I sincerely hope they don’t let him drive over there.
Please Marmalard. Just this once. For me; not at me. Do that thing you do with the LONG completions for the entire second half. Please. I swear I’ll watch the CBS premier of “God Friended Me”.
pray FOAR multiple D/ST scores instead! It’s still a cover!!
NCIS: Great Lakes
The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
Are we not going to discuss how Tennessee is dressed like the Toronto Argonauts?
DonT is smoking heavily enough!
Hahahahaha….OK, now that was fucking funny.
Also, Palace wearing their banana kit today, tis a true affront to God and man
Here come the Mighty Blues out the tunnel!!
Damn I hope I hope i get RAMMIT v 49ers pm slot on CBS.
trade you if you got the Dallas game.
My favorite art piece in the Netherlands is actually two pieces. Father and son paintings.
Here is the father…
Very rich trader. Well respected in Amsterdam. Head of one of the most powerful families. He made his fortune overseas and then came back to the Netherlands. He ruled it as a merchant during the height of the Golden Age of the Dutch. Here is the description of the son’s painting. None of this is made up by me.
“Like his father, the twenty-year old Gerald Bicker is portrayed as self-assured, his arm akimbo. The striking differences in the garments won by father and son confirm they are from different generations. While his father Andries is dressed in dignified clothing with an old-fashioned ruff, Gerald wears a colourful and showy outfit with flat collar and elegant gloves. Gerard was not awarded any key administrative positions in Amsterdam and the family quickly fell into poverty under his leadership upon the death of his father”
So keep that information in mind and now…here is the kid’s portrait.
So basically, the movie “Tommy Boy” is based on a real story, only it doesn’t have a happy ending and it occurred in like the 18th century. Kids have been disappointments to their families for centuries.
I very much disagree that this story doesn’t have a happy ending.
Absentee fatherhood also been around for centuries it seems.
Judging by the dates on the paintings and the age of the people in them, I am fairly confident that the dad didn’t get married and have kids until after he came back from the Dutch East Indies. This was typical for Dutch culture. If someone was married with kids and they went to the colonies, they took their families with them. But the voyage was so dangerous and the condition were so brutal, that typically it was single men that went overseas.