2018 Quotables – Week 11 (Results)

Understandably, I got all mixed-up with the schedules and tryptophans and caravans and forgot about results last week. So a very special thank you to those of you who politely emailed me to let me know you sent me bitcoin. Your bribe reminder is reflected below. Oh, and Mr Hippo, please see me afterwards regarding your second consecutive week of insufficient funds notice.

Submission here.


“You’re with me, leather.” -Game Time Decision

“‘I haven’t seen a stab move by a defensive all-star end up being so inconsequential since…[receives emergency text from lawyer]…honestly I can’t recall seeing anything like that before, ever.’ – Ray Lewis” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“For fuck’s sake, Kevin James, have a little pride.” -Enrico Pallazzo

“Justin Tucker: ‘ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???’ Baltimore fans: (stab each other retardedly)” -SonOfSpam

“It’s fun to stay at the Y [record scratch] Y [record scratch] Y [record scratch] Y” -Game Time Decision

“‘Whoop, whoop…’ -C. Berman /needs to see doctor for erection lasting for more than 4 hours.” – nomonkeyfun

“This concludes the debate on if Alex Smith was a bust or if his leg went boom.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“That feeling when you’re kidnapped by the Sinaloa Cartel and told you’ll only be released if the Rams win.” -Wakezilla

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

After not having worn pants for 10 days, this morning has been a stark reminder of what ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL HELL this practice is.

Unsurprised

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m on hold with Experian, because someone tried to steal my identity. I’m not sure that playing classic blues as hold music is the way to go for a credit agency.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Woke up this morning, my fingers and toes were numb and cold
Woke up this morning, had a feeling something of mine got stoled
Opened up my laptop, lots of tentacle porn tabs to close
Opened up my laptop, logged on to check my capital one bill that didn’t work on my phone
My jaw dropped lower than a hooker on Jerruh’s plane cuz
I got the someone else bought 100 gallons of lube on my credit card blues.

Unsurprised

It’s not so much someone tried to steal your identity as Experian and some other party with your personal information fucked up and lost it or sold it or basically gave it away and we should stop saying “identity theft” as if it were an accident and not something some party is legally culpable for.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Senor Weaselo

They’re staying at a Motel 5 next road trip. They don’t deserve Motel 6.

Unsurprised

They’re not worth $5 a night each.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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It’s a Dak in a box!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Dak’s Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Love the “with leather” throwback.

Game Time Decision

wasn’t’ sure if anyone would remember that story

2 Berman jokes in a week. Think we’ve met the limit for the rest of the season.

nomonkeyfun

Only people who used to visit a place that wasn’t “up for anything”.

Also not up for anything, Tiger Woods at a Kappa party.