2018 Quotables – Week 15 (Results)

blaxabbath -
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Here it is. Your Week 15 Quotables Results. See you all back here on Christmas for our regular season finale.

“THESE JETS FANS I CALL THE IRAQI AIR FORCE BECAUSE THEY’RE FULL OF SOUND AND FURY BUT DO FUCK-ALL WHEN IT COUNTS!” -LemonJello
“‘Do we…light that on fire?’ –Jeff Sessions” -BrettFavresColonoscopy
“’Where did he go? Where did he go?’ – Orlando Scandrick, after being stricken with fast-onset Chris Conte Disease.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He truly is the Windows ME of QBs.” -nomonkeyfun
“THIS CASE KEENUM I CALL HIM ‘CALIFORNIA’ BECAUSE HE IS GETTING OVERRUN BY BROWNS WHO ARE MURDERERS AND RAPISTS AND SOME OF WHOM, I ASSUME, ARE FINE PEOPLE.” -SonOfSpam
“Wife says, the way I’m playing this season, I need to get my post-retirement plans up and running. So…ya think this suit will look good in the booth?” -Petronel
“Rah, rah, sis boom bah! Tyler’s down, ha ha ha!” -Petronel

“Is there a new sex cannon in the league? One that can shoot twice and go deep? Maybe.” -LemonJello
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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5
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s perfect.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess what’s playing in Starbucks right now? Little Drummer Boy. Does that mean I lose twice?

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Game Time Decision

As long as your order has less syllables than your screen name, it’s not a loss

1
blaxabbath

::winces::

-Spur ordering a coffee

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ballsofsteelandfury

Best/worst way to lose the LDB challenge?

At a strip club.

3
Brick Meathook

I’m convinced that Tom Brady is actually dumb as a rock beneath that Dreamboat exterior, and probably knows very little outside of his football bubble. He’s got smart agents and advisors to be sure, but I bet he would fail miserably on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.

7
yeah right

He should run for president.

4
Unsurprised

I keep thinking that Justin Verlander is eventually going to run for office since his wife comes from a political family (her uncle is an arch-Tea Party MAGA chud), but as football goes, I could totally see Gisele driving him into politics. There’s a long tradition of charismatic athletes delving into politics and, frankly, Tawwwmy is the only NFL player I could see making that transition with any chance of national success. I could totally see him winning in MA or CT as a Republican. Trump has an 86% approval rating within the GOP and Brady, Belichick, and Kraft are the last of his famous supporters, so he’d win any primary he runs in. Honestly, I could even see him going back to California and running against Feinstein in 2024, assuming she lives that long, and winning because she sucks.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Republican Party has a LOT of image rehabbing to do before they will be able to compete in CA. They lost Orange County, for christsakes.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

He needs to stay in Massachusetts. The only way he wins in Cali is if both he and Gisele come out as bisexual.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Petronel’s is perfect because you can totally see the cheerleader’s blatant disregard/obliviousness to his health.

1
Petronel

(Thanks!)

It’s almost as if they aren’t really conscious of what’s happening on the field – just that their team has the ball, and that the latest play is over somehow. Cousins could have gone full Theismann (/Smith, now), with both teams, both medical staffs and multiple carts on the field, and they’d still be yelling their heads off.

(Either that, or they collectively hate Tyler Conklin’s guts, which was funnier and therefore became my working theory.)

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I call this the reverse Leinart

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