I have been watching Die Hard every Christmas Eve since 1999. The five or six years, I’ve been rivebroging on Twitter. Twitter is a cesspool. Therefore, I’m doing this here.
Die Hard is the best Christmas movie filmed. Please feel free to join me in the komments, as I talk about this.
Yippie Kay Yay, motherefuckers.
Feeding blaxito a little early but I headed off his crying so the Mrs is still asleep. Dinner was about 45 mins late bc I didn’t bother to schedule my oven needs (just got a single – so must do that in the future). Fortunately everybody drank the booze and the weather was good and we had solid appetizers so, by the time everyone was ripping in to the crab legs….well, as my great grandmother used to say, “make em wait long enough and they’ll think anything you cook is delicious.”
I think my gifts are hidden in the guest room so I can get to those right now. But I got a photo for the kid with everyone at his first Christmas and I’m not hungover (The Good Stuff fre) so I’m calling it a success.
Go to Hell, Bidwills, and to all a good night.
Another Christmas Eve, another fantastic viewing of Die Hard. Thanks to you shitdicks for hanging around.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a merry Tuesday.
Sorry I wasn’t able to stay awake for the whole thing. Much love.
Holly punches Thornburg, Argyle finally gets out of the garage. What a Christmas Eve.
KARL!!
Oh, and Al, guns him down!
BOOM! DOWN GOES EDDIE!
“That was Gary Cooper, asshole.”
Looks like Argyle has taken out Theo.
Alright, so Feds are literally toast, LAPD is stuck on the ground, the building is burning, and it looks like Hans has an out.
Hostages are coming back from the roof, McClane is trying not to be shot, the Feds are looking to kill.
BOOM GOES THE ROOF.
DOWN GOES KARL (?).
The Feds make their move. Other Agent was in junior high.
DOWN GOES ULI!
McClane and Karl are going at it, while Hans makes his move as an exceptional thief.
Rut roh… Hans realizes Holly Gennerro is Holly MClcane.
…and McClane finds what Hans had in mind the whole time. Oh, here’s Karl. And the Feds…
“That’s up the Man Upstairs…” McClane has an idea…
Meanwhile, Dick Thornburg is being a dick…
Love the dichotomy between Hans and Johnson, thinking each has beaten the other. Got to give to Hans, though. He played it (almost) perfectly.
Not only is Die Hard not a Christmas movie, Home Alone is also not a Christmas movie because they are essentially the same film that could have taken place any time of the year.
Still a great movie though
#HansGruberwasahero
I’m of the same mindset. Die Hard happens to occur during Christmas. It’s trivia. Christmas movies are supposed to espouse something be it Jesus or family or merriment. Something. Die Hard espouses that John McClain kicks ass, which, yeah that’s awesome, but has nothing to do with Christmas.
And don’t say Die Hard is about family or I will slap you. It’s about ass kids and kicking. It rules. It’s just not a Christmas movie.
As I said below, it’s about property rights! That’s totally modern Christianity, thus Christmas.
I went to Dyker Heights last night (McMansions but in Brooklyn, so Mediterranean and tacky as fuuuuuuuck) to see the light displays. I respect the secular displays, but there really is nothing more American Christian than the Manger displays as a house blows through $10,000 in electricity bills to show off their property. No, Jesus probably wouldn’t have been satisfied with your holistic tithing to charity. He’d probably want you to give away a hell of a lot more than that.
…and the Feds have shut down the lights. There goes the last lock on the vault.
“Merry Christmas!” — Theo
Al Powell gives the story why he’s a desk jockey, and now Hans explains why the Feds are their miracle.
“Put me down for $20. I’m good for it.”
“Shoot the glass!”
“Time for the real thing, Bill.”
Hans can’t believe his luck. But…
Alan Rickman stars as Hans Gruber as Bill Clay.
Oh… the Feds are here.
“It’s Christmas, Theo. It’s the time for miracles!”
Al Powell ain’t going anywhere.
Meanwhile, Hans has decided to make a statement.
DOWN GOES ELLIS.
Brought it on yourself, shithead.
Oh, Ellis. You’re soooo far out of your depth.
“Hey, Roy, how you feeling?”
“Pretty fucking unappreciated, Al.”
Story of my life.
“Glass?! Who gives a shit about glass?”
“…take this under advisement, jerkweed.”
OH MY GOD! THE QUARTERBACK IS TOAST!
Send in the car. Send in the car!
“Just wound them….”
Uh oh. Here comes SWAT.
Holly Gennerro knows her shit. Dick Thornburg is a dick. Argyle knows how to handle his shit.
“Call me… Roy.”
Now we have Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson on scene.
“Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. That pain in that ass.”
Yippe-kay-ya, motherfucker.
Hello, Dick Thornburg. And, hello the entire LAPD.
…AND DOWN GOES MARCO!
Thanks for the advice!
DOWN GOES HEINRICH!
“Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.”