Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 16

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t.

As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap and highlight in green any predictions I got right.

If any.

Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!

AFC

So, I guess Baltimore is the real deal, huh?

The Ravens strolled into Carson on Saturday night like John Travolta

and took the game from the Chargers, the Division from Pittsburgh, and the need for Viagra away from JJ Fozz and tWBS in one magical Southern California balmy winter evening.

I now DO ABSOLUTELY see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North (even though it would be really fun if the Browns spoiled things but they won’t because they’re the Browns) and possibly making some noise in the playoffs.

Houston, as I thought, did not beat Philly, so that gives New England back the #2 spot and first round bye. Given this week’s results, here are the scenarios for next week:

Baltimore: Win = #4 seed. Loss = Season Over

Pittsburgh: Win and Browns win = #4 seed. Anything else = Season Over

Indianapolis and Tennessee will effectively play a playoff game on Sunday with the winner getting the #6 seed.

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Kansas City
2. New England
3. Houston
4. Baltimore
5. San Diego
6. Indianapolis

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

AFC Playoffs

The matchups have changed yet again,  but the results will be the same.  In a magical world,  we could get a Houston-Baltimore matchup instead of New England-Kansas City in the AFC Championship. 

It would certainly be nice,  but I just don’t think it will happen. 

NFC

The Cowboys were able to wrap up the division thanks to the Buccaneers sucking big sweaty pirate balls. The Eagles are still hot though and all they need to sneak in is a Chicago Bear victory over the Vikings in the last week!

The Seahawks are solidly in the #5 spot and in Sunday Night showed they can beat anyone.  They will be tough come playoff time. 

Meanwhile, the Saints took the #1 seed by beating the Steelers in a game that I thought was actually closer than expected. Too bad the Steelers could never figure out how to be consistent this season. 

The race for the last Wild Card spot is down to the Eagles and Vikings. If the Vikings beat the Bears,  they are in.  If not, and the Eagles beat the Potato Skins,  then the Eagles are in. 

I think the Eagles will win out and the Bears will beat the Vikings on the last weekend of the regular season.

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Saints
2. Rams
3. Bears
4. Cowboys
5. Seahawks
6. Eagles

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

NFC Playoffs

I continue to think that the Cowboys,  Bears,  and Rams make too many mistakes at critical times. That really only leaves Philly, Seattle, and the Saints as veteran teams that can go all the way. 

I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.

Superb Owl

Saints beat New England.

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Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid!