Naw, I don’t think so-it’s already been done by Shakey The Sphere and that was some time ago. Let’s compare each of these games (many of which are…hold onto your barnacles…completely irrelevant!) to say, an offering at a buffet-style restaurant or a meal/snack I enjoyed as a child.
What’s that? Did you just mutter, “I came to this site to read about all the win/lose scenarios and how dizzying it all is and also cogent analysis of the games and the why’s and wherefore’s and suchlike”. Buddy, (or skirt-whatever-you do you) did you come to the wrong end of the net. Scoot back to one of the mainstream sites where former players and mathematicians reside. You’ll feel safer there.
TO THE BUFFET! Damn, let’s try that again.
TO THE GAMES!
Fins/Bills:
Hey look-it’s the mashed potatoes! There’s not a single lump, so creamy. IT’S BECAUSE THEY WERE POURED OUT OF A TIN. They’re fake just like everything’s fake. [puts small amount of mashed taters on plate]
Lions/Packers:
This sides table seems to go on forever. Hey, beans! Good old beans. They keep you as regular as Detroit acquiescing to the Packers’ will year after year. (I’ve no idea what their history is, it just feels right to type it).
Jets/Pats:
Everybody loves the carving station! Look at that monstrous hip of beef from that 30+ month steer. Impressive. And that dude with the face tattoo in the chef’s hat? Probably the only place he could wield a knife that size without children crying at the sight.
Panthers/Saints:
Whoa! Check out the breasts on [clears throat] the steam table. Looks as though they’re slathered with some sort of high-fructose honey-garlic solution. Yummers!
Cowboys/Giants:
Okay, I’m not going to lie-this plate is getting a bit heavy. Hmm, something light is what I need. I believe I’ll take a single deviled egg. Ah, what the hell, I’ll grab two. [immediately makes plans to ‘Dutch Oven’ the wife later on]
Falcons/Bucs:
Soooo, what’s missing? Sides? Check. Protein? Check. Ah! Something to drink-a carbonated beverage is just the thing to wash this down. After all, this wait staff has to do something and I haven’t seen Braden in a while. Or was it Jaden? Aiden? Pretty sure it ended with an ‘n’.
Jags/Texans:
I couldn’t be more stuffed! But I didn’t pay $29.99 to walk out of here without some sort of dessert lodged in my lower intestine. Perhaps you can figure this out for me. I hate date squares but I always grab one because I feel sorry for them. There’s always plenty of them because I think most folks feel the way I do and just walk on by. Not me, I’ll put one on my plate so that it has company with things that actually taste good. And no, I’m not going to eat it. That stuff is vile.
Enjoy the offerings before you.
they don’t even have Cooper Rush take the kneel-downs
And Eli was never seen again.
Next year we get to watch his friends spend 16 weeks trying to get him out of the Upside Down.
Come on Giants, just end this game with a 75 yard FG attempt. Why not?
Eli does know it’s 4th Quarter?
of his career.
One of the TVs here doesn’t show blue for some reason so it makes this Giants Cowboys game really unsettling looking
Falcons also draft after Donks WOO!!!
Coach: “Eli, go with your first read!”
Eli: “Goodnight, Moon?”
lol
Eli’s Last Gasp.
This should be fun.
is eli gonna be in the league next year?
I think he aged out, and has to move up to Pony League baseball now.
That’s what happens if he goes in the water too soon after lunch.
that was cool!
That’s how you do it. Good job Princeton.
Time for Eli’s Last Stand!!!!
That’s where his night light is!
Well shit that was fun
THE COWBOYS WIN THE PENNANT!!! THE COWBOYS WIN THE PENNANT!!!
Gonna lose on a Giants-record long field goal.
Could’ve happened.