INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
We join the show in progress. Things seem calm and under control in the studio. The PRODUCER and DJ 3000 are situated outside the booth, while a young man is seated inside speaking into the properly positioned, appropriately leveled microphone.
TYLER EIFERT: …and normally, when I walk into a room and the art installation is a film piece, I turn around and walk right back out again. But something about this one really resonated with me. I ended up sitting through the rest of it, and then stuck around to watch the entire thing again. And then I made my wife come and watch it too. I know art is a very subjective thing, but this is the first time something has such a big impact on me since I saw Gerhard Richter’s Seestück at the Guggenheim in Bilbao.
PRODUCER: So what was it called?
TYLER: The piece was called Second Hand Reading, and the artist is a South African named William Kentridge.
PRODUCER: Anything in particular about it that you can describe to our readers that might convey why it had such an impact on you?
TYLER: Absolutely. There’s a phrase that appeared a few times during the sequence, “TEAR AND REPAIR” followed by “END WITH LOVE”. And I couldn’t help but think about it in the context of my own career, how it’s been repeated injuries, time to heal, excitement about returning, and then getting injured again. But I’m trying to keep perspective about the last part.
PRODUCER: That’s a nice sentiment.
TYLER: Thanks.
PRODUCER: I have to be honest, I am a little surprised by your interest in art. This isn’t really a topic I’d expect to be engaged by a guy sporting a mullet.
DJ 3000: AN N-GRAM ANALYSIS OF THE LANGUAGE USED BY MEN WHO FEATURE A MULLET HAIRSTYLE SUPPORTS THIS.
TYLER: Well, don’t go thinking that I’m simply being used as a mouthpiece for someone else, someone who happened to visit the Broad Museum yesterday and really enjoyed a particular piece. That’s not what’s happening at all here.
The three of them break the fourth wall and look around furtively.
TYLER: Anyhow, let’s get to the music. Today’s theme is “Tear and Repair”. We’re looking for songs about healing things, about fixing things, about repairing things that are broken. I’ll get us started off with one from Concrete Blonde. And remember, folks – always end with love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvMquORvCS4
LUX! And Poison Ivy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIQR_3TPtJw
“always end with love” – RTD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa3tfVjGCQ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyXf-4Vwu3I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM9u4Dt8InA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPC2Fp7IT7o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkoq9JoUY7w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya6CQrFacIY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsFwRCBDkh4
I think this works….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwiTs60VoTM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSXke6YJjDs
LET’S GET A DOUBLE SHOT TOGETHER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoGmudmpmDs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWo3CMUp8K0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEBlaMOmKV4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81LpJPXo_qs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kp1NPcmnjk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NZsCYOM4j0
“Just don’t do it late in the afternoon; sun will get in your eyes.”
– Ray Lewis
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyXVFm8ow_0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgAFcvIw8J4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUD03-LP-xs
I’m ashamed of all of you….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA4_O3oeJCw
Scotchnaut got that like two hours ago. It’s valid to say for any of your other picks, though.
Did he? I scrolled back and didn’t see it.
Ooooops?
Fuck! I’ve forgotten about this band for like, the last two years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXiaGTo0uRo
No Van Morrison? I can fix this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u92E-e0t5HY
“I can’t stand myself.”
You and me both, Van. But I’m getting better…
with ya, Spirit Animal…except that getting better part hee hee
Come with me, from the dark end of the street to the bright side of the road. [extends hand]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCDZzf4ragg
counterpoint:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZRcIGnaqE
We can go back and forth on this forever. I’ma throw out a perfectly crafted tune that I found just the other day. There’s a ton of good young people doing good things in the world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAs0do4ogNs
RIP Dimebag.
Love this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-V8kYT1pvE
ok, one last entry and I stop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbXciBKcfQ8
Fixing what whitey done to this continent:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M5W_3T2Ye4
dressed up this rotten carcass
just to make it look alive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADveXclpKnA
I miss my “Now I’m Nothing” t-shirt
Oh shit yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzgTnK3agPM
Does it count? Rules committee?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8f-Qb-bwlU&app=desktop
I think so, but if Rikki disagrees, he’ll just slit your throat while you sleep. No worries.
Yeah, this works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPzJWd-PJ48
very nice!
I went to a cobbler to fix a hole in my shoe
He took one look at my face and said, “I can fix that hole in you”
“I beg your pardon, I’m not lookin’ for a cure,
I’ve seen enough of my friends in the depths of the godsick blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSZQL_aUarE
Here’s a repair song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDhAyT4Z4rc
what’s bad, we’ll fix it
what’s wrong, we’ll make it alright
it’s gone. so long
we got time, all the time…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StdBsUzJDTA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpRap-zHZHY&app=desktop
I was trying not to go full video game nerd but this one is actually named “Song of Healing”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7-DYfJdklI
And it’s in Italian sung by self-aware turrets but it should still count
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kPyGvqNn4Y
Figured this fits the bill.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn-enjcgV1o
Figured this was a bit obscure. I was right-it has a mere 80 million views.
This was also a great throwaway gag on The Simpsons when Maggie went missing.
Maybe on a metaphysical nature. Worthless without the bass riff tho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXbCOdVGDT0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGlo9LzmOME
The next track on the album would also be appropriate.
THIS JUST IN-
RTD misses the DOUBLE SHOT!
“Hey man, if someone leaves a double shot just sitting there and walks away from it, there’s no shame in picking it up yourself.” – Justin Blackmon
But if nobody’s gonna claim it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPBd8eHQqIw
If this doesn’t work, I quit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnH_zwVmiuE&app=desktop
That’s perfect.
Here’s Robert Edwards weighing in…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-exUl-TnQ0
THE FIXX IS IN, BABY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCM4_5uB1ww
-Arnold Rothstein, 1919
I got to hear about Tyler Eifert trying to mac on chicks back when he was in college. His go to line was “Hey, do you know who I am?”
Sadly (for him) most times the answer was “No”.
Trent Green says the same exact thing, but it’s not intended as a pickup line.
Ah Coldplay’s Fix You has got to be mentioned
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4V3Mo61fJM
THIS GUY THURBERHERDER I CALL HIM THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS BECAUSE HE DIDN’T GET TO THE PODIUM FAST ENOUGH!
Yeah, well, like, this just proves you’re a bigger fan of Coldplay than me, so yeah TAKE THAT
Really? Really? Welp, here you go-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2ICtCO8TCw
Umm, I think I just pulled off a DOUBLE SHOT! within a single response.
Judges?
[hiccups]
– Brett Kavanaugh
/cause he’s drunk, you see.
//also he attempted to rape a fifteen year-old girl
I’m not a fan of what Coldplay does, but what they do, they do well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4V3Mo61fJM
And a different way to tear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrfFHzqGBZI
There is a very valid response to this request line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
This oughtta cover a few bases…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjlSiASsUIs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzJj5-lubeM
You’d think I’d be sorry about posting this but you’d be wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpZuAtwDfag