Your “Cool Dad vs. Actual Dad” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • Tuesday at midnight marks the end of the compensatory pick portion of free agency.
    • Meaning that, after tonight, teams losing players to free agency no longer get compensatory picks as a result of that loss, and teams signing players don’t lose picks.
      • Which then means that some players who have been waiting for offers will get signed.
    • Ndamukong Suh and Ziggy Ansah are the highest-profile free agents unsigned.
  • Lots of kicker talk today:
    • Marquette King, ex- of the Raiders & Broncos, is trying out for the Texans, who I am told are an actual NFL team.
    • The Bears acquired Eddy Pineiro from the Raiders for a conditional 7th-round pick, provided he stays on the active roster for five games this season.
  • Jason Pierre-Paul is likely out for the season after fracturing his neck in a one-car car accident.
    • It’s hard to keep both hands on the wheel when you don’t have a full compliment of hands.
    • It all comes down to if he needs surgery.
    • It really screws over the Bucs because they didn’t draft any linemen, so will have to either promote from within or sign someone new.

Finally, Joe Namath admits to a drinking problem in his new book, “All the Way: My Life in Four Quarters”.

  • It’s his first book in 50 years.
Pictured: his previous ghostwriters.
  • Namath says he drank excessively because a voice in his head told him to. To combat the urge, Namath came up with a name for the voice: Slick.
Author’s representation.
  • Most of his adult life has been an attempt to control those voices. But he couldn’t always control the amount or time of his drinking. But, he says he hasn’t had a drink since the infamous Suzy Kolber interview in 2003.

  • Which means his Super Bowl coin toss was completely sober.

ESPN says he doesn’t talk about all the women, just the late nights. He does talk about the travails of fame, the advantages it’s given him, and the toll the game & lifestyle took on him. It should be a quality read.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: Game 7, Bay-Bay!
    • Stars at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • 76ers at Raptors – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet
    • Trail Blazers at Nuggets – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Twins at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Phillies at Cardinals – 7:45PM | MLBN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

A little something for everyone tonight, and if the sports becomes tiresome you can always argue about Game of Thrones, and what editing error will show up next. Having seen “Bohemian Rhapsody”, a coffee cup on a table should qualify GoT for all the editing Emmys.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamusRikki-Tikki-DeadlyALXMACUnsurprisedSenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good morning everybody. The bill for last night’s enchiladas has come due.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shall we chip in for a plumber?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

*(NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS (UNSURPRISED)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hot take: I genuinely do think Kim K will be a good lawyer and I’d work for her in a nanosecond.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Personally, I think it’s awesome that she’s becoming a lawyer. I don’t expect her to be better than average, but with her resources she’ll probably get much more accomplished than the average lawyer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m not as drunk as I hoped I’d be

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There’s still time.

It’s odd. There’s a pot delivery service here, but I don’t think that anyone in this city can deliver alcohol. What a world.

I stand corrected. We have pot and booze delivery.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Five minutes later:

h

ttps://giant.gfycat.com/BleakPaleJunco.mp4

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s amazing how Nate Silver manages to outdo himself every day in proving he was a one-hit wonder whose sole hit wasn’t even that impressive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You and my brother would totally get along. I’m thinking of dragging him along if/when I go to the L.A. DFO pub crawl.

ballsofsteelandfury

You should!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Redshirt any time someone says something nice about the Bengals.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That looks expensive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, it’s just dirt. Oh, you mean the camera…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Polish lesbians.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you are offended by old-fashioned Polish jokes they are Lithuanian Lethbians.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

So they’re introducing the multiverse into the MCU. Swell.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Senor Weaselo

Paging Redshirt!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The RZA is totally going to end up doing the whole Yasuke soundtrack.

https://deadline.com/2019/05/chadwick-boseman-yasuke-african-samurai-black-panther-1202608769/

Senor Weaselo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

HE MADE A SWEAR ON THE TELLY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s better than running through the glass, but damn, that hurts just to watch.

Senor Weaselo

Why are they playing “Gloria”?

Dunstan
Dunstan

Why not?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I like hockey. All players are testy, all the time.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Which is the game where all players are testes?

Senor Weaselo

Someone did a thing!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Bish should be 2nd Star

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was once again trying to watch hockey and a soccer game broke out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

SOMEBODY SCORE A DAMNED GOAL!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I guess all I had to do is wish.
Buh bye Dallas.

Dunstan
Dunstan

You ask, Laura Branigan delivers:

theeWeeBabySeamus

At the risk of making myself look more foolish…..I always really did like her.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Impeccable timing.

Don T

For a production of “Prometheus Unbound”, I’d cast Chris Simms as his liver.

Spleen, liver who cares. I stand by my misuse of Frankenstein.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“Get engaged this Mother’s Day or get Mom a bracelet” Wow, Jared, really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Don T

Psht. Mother’s Day means cookware or hemp jewelry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The goal smells better now I bet.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

90’s MTV Grind Booty Cam!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

So much unused footage because many of the woman wouldn’t wear underwear.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moar Free Hockey!!!!!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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