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Moving Advice: The Post

blaxabbath

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Listen up! And Welcome to InfoWars! The only show that takes you so far inside the Deep State that you find Slick Willie’s 1994 Crime Bill cigar! My name is Richie Incognito and I’ll be your host this week on Cliven Bundy’s Cows and Freedom Hour. Alright, let’s get to the phones! Caller on the line, what say you?!


blaxabbath: Uhhhh, hiya there. Long time, first time here. Was hoping to talk with Clyde but uhhh, maybe you can help me. Just had an offer put in today that was accepted so uhhh….I’m going to be moving to Las Vegas there from out of state and so I thought Mr Bundy could tell me a little about the area. Also, I was looking for any tips you had to share maybe about interstate moves — family of three plus three great dogs. Thanks Richie!

Incognito: Well HOWDY neighbor! My rights were recently acquired by the pre-Las Vegas Raiders! Now I don’t yet know much about the area, I’m pleased to announce that me and the voices in my head out there in Vine broadcast land have some seriously great tips for someone making such a major move for the first time. So, voices in my head out there in Vine broadcast land, any tips you’d like to share? I’ll start us off…don’t even mention your guns. Even if their laws seem reasonable, it’s cause they’re trying to create a database so they confiscate all the firearms in America, leaving us vulnerable to foreign attacks! Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Noooooooo!!!!!!

blaxabbath: Well, I meant more like logistics, efficiency, getting settled in an all new place, tips — just like any general ‘heads up stuff’ might be cool. I know you’ve gone from St Louis to Buffalo and Miami and so that’s a lot. And like, I know Mr Bundy’s friend, Zymm, moved around a lot. We don’t really know anyone in the —

Incognito: Yeah yeah. We get the point. So, voices in my head,……What Say You?

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The Final Rose: Finale Preview (Day 1) – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] all, blaxabbath here. As many of you may remember, I knocked out an interstate move here in July and it was actually pretty daunting. But we made it here, got all set up, and now […]

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Don T

I’ve moved 13+ times. Never with professionals, always with guilt-tripped / bribed relatives or friends.
Moving the stuff in? Big things first, anywhere. The house is empty. Jesus Christ just get it out if the van! FUCK
[additional PTSD for 10’]

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nomonkeyfun

Lemonjello’s advice was great. Two more pieces besides hiring movers.
First, be absolutely certain the house will be in the condition you are expecting move in day.
B. Pack your vacuum at the very end, so you can give old house a quick once over as rooms are cleaned out, and so you can get the new house before stuff comes in.

Just moved my Mom today. Carpets that were supposed to be replaced weren’t and other things that now have to be done while her crap is in the new home, so we can’t really start unpacking for a couple of days.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Put a Lo-Jack in your favorite chair. I’m not saying your wife would try it, but two different friends have “lost” their La-Z-Boy in a move and I have it on good authority that at least one was the result of Sinister Machinations.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have a low jack in my favorite chair.

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litre_cola

Sell all of you big needless shit before you go. I have moved too many times bringing something bulky and replaceable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The key here is to move stuff that you throw/ give away when you unpack. That really helps your feelings of accomplishment.

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blaxabbath

“Big needles?”

–comment image?quality=90&strip=all

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ballsofsteelandfury

Before you make the trek, TRIPLE CHECK to make sure the AC works at the new place.

And get the number to the company that regularly services the system.

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yeah right

After a quick search there are some really decent Las Vegas locals guides written by locals about restaurants, places to see and some insider tips on the city.
May be worth a look when you get settled.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve always moved myself. I once drove a gigantic yellow Penske Van from Pennsylvania to North Carolina and then to Arizona. While towing my 4Runner on a car carrier hitched to the back. That was a fun few days.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This can really pay off when the van is full of sex slaves from various countries. Just make sure you keep the passports.

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Horatio Cornblower

You’re not going to get better overall advice than what Lemonjello gave you, so let me just add, as someone who moved himself about 30 miles with a wife and one-month old in tow, for the love of God, hire professionals.

But definitely do that stuff Lemonjello said about getting some personal stuff together and kept with you.

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Unsurprised

Why do I make everything so fucking difficult for myself?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Incognito: One of the first things you’re gonna wanna do is park one of your cars on your front lawn. Just for a day or two to let your neighbors know that you’re not fuckin’ around.

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LemonJello

Counterpoint: Park one of your cars on your neighbors front lawn to really establish dominance.

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Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way Incognito isn’t going to shit on his neighbor’s lawn, (and if that neighbor is lucky, only his lawn), to establish dominance.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Use a PT Cruiser and it’s basically doing both at once,

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it IS fertilizer, so when the cops come you were just trying to help.

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yeah right

For the love of everything unholy, don’t move during the Summer.

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LemonJello

Are you doing this yourself or having “professionals” move your stuff?

Having moved every 3 years for the last 25 years, I’ll try to be helpful:

1. Anything you may need right away – haul it yourself. Cookware, cleaning supplies, toys for Blaxito and the puppers, stuff that you don’t want to go digging through roomfuls of boxes to find. Sheets and towels. Basic tools for re-assembly of furniture, too.

2. If you’re being packed out/moved by “professionals” if possible, bag all the hardware for whatever they disassemble and keep that stuff with you – or else know where the nearest hardware store is at the new location, because a lot of that will vanish between point A and B. Or at least one bolt/nut/screw will somehow not make the trip.

3. Have a plan for unpacking – prioritize which rooms you need for basic living and knock those out first. We always wanted the bedrooms, a bathroom and the kitchen sorted before we worried about the other rooms.

4. Explore the area. Drive around and see what’s near you, what options there are for alternate routes and the like.

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yeah right

This is all very sound advice.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

this is great advice. My preference is to set up the beds first. I’ve learned the hard way that you don’t want to figure out how to put the bed back together when exhausted

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Something that has only become clear to me in recent weeks: figure out where the nearest hospital is, and take a dry run with wife (and child) so you’re both familiar with the route.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good stuff; I’d add to really let someone else move you gun safe…. those fuckers be heavy.

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LemonJello

Truth.
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Don T

Amen.

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